Finally

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445
 

http://just-a-mom.us/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

God is….

On Sunday, May 29, the scripture reference was taken from Hebrews 11:6 and the name of the words delivered was only two: God is…

6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. 

The woman who delivered the message was an educated and refined sister, no doubt carrying many degrees and accomplishments galore. She spoke of the power of God and what we are called to do is to believe and have faith that whatever the situation God is really all any of us ever need. The faith that is needed to do anything in our lives is propelled by these constant two words God is…She spoke of experiencing the death of her mother, then her father, then her brother, then her sister and finally she experienced the death of her only child – a son. You could hear the gasps and the quiet spoken oh my God’s escaping out of mouths. Even through her pain, she knew that God is the provider – He is the mother to the motherless, and the father to the fatherless, the brother and sister to the brother and sisterless and the son to us all. She no doubt experienced moments that were too excruciating to even discuss, after all we are expected to bury our parents and even the death of a sibling is tolerable; however, the death of a child. One that came from you and into this world is a pain that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.   I cried as did most of the women and some men in the congregation. We felt her pain and yet we see her triumph. Her faith in the power of His words which clearly state that he can carry our burdens and walk with us through the fire – allowed her to triumph. In grief she excelled and she continues to walk by faith.

This kind of  faith is what God is.  Faith tells God that we believe. When I went to sleep last night, a part of me began making excuses as to why I could not go to church because I had so much work to do to get ready for my sons 16th birthday party. The other part; however knew, that regardless of the work, I had to go to church. I opted to go and as I did I felt renewed., I believe that having that desire to walk in His presence gets us through those times, when we don’t even remember how we got where we are and how we are going to move forward. Standing on his word and going to service to say thank you made the work to get ready for the party seem to fly by. I said thank you Lord for the friends and family and for the children that continue to  uplift and buoy me for what life has given me and for those things yet to come.  All I know is that God is…and that is enough.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

 http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

 http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

 

 

A Murder

My sister lives in Richmond. In 2003 according to  www.cityrating.com/crimestatistics.asp  there were 38 murders in the city of Richmond.  For Oakland there were 109 murders, for San Francisco there were 69, for Pleasant Hill there were 0 and for Tracy there were 2.  I realize that these are super old statistics; however for the benefit of this blog post I will just use them to illustrate a point.

Around 11 o’clock my phone rang 2 different times – each complete rings. I was downstairs and when I came up and looked at the phone, my first thought was I wonder what she wants and then my second thought was she never calls me this late, something must be wrong.  I called her back. She was crying, she was shaking, she was a mess! I went into calm mode and listened and spoke with love.  

My sister was doing laundry on Saturday night and she heard gunshots.  She said it was loud and she was afraid.  She ducked down in the laundry room, pulled another lady down who was doing laundry to the ground, and called 911. The agent instructed her to stay in the laundry room until the police arrived. She says she was shaking, she was frightened and she was praying.  When the police arrived, very shortly after the 911 call, they came and escorted her and the lady out of the laundry room and walked past the crime scene.  It was a young man in his early 20′s who had been shot while sitting in his car. My sister described it like it was in the movies, where the body is riddled with bullets and all of the windows of the car are broken and shattered.  This was in her apartment complex.  When she called me she was incoherent and could hardly breathe, the pain in her voice, the fear, the disbelief – all I could do was ask her to breathe and take her time.  She eventually was able to calm herself through my voice and her inner strength; the dialogue that she spoke to herself worked more than my words could ever have.

It got me to thinking about how casually murders are reported.  Close your eyes and remember the last time you heard the news. The teleprompter reader’s voice gets lower, a sadness comes over his or her face and they read that there was a murder at approximately such and such a time and the victim was in his early 20′s, late teens or mid-40′s, whatever the age, death is death.  The reader continues with an interview with the police officer on scene or a witness and then as quickly at this is out of their mouths; facial expressions change and the teleprompter reader now talks about the weather, the festival coming up, the latest happenings of Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen and the death as well as the sad expression are gone. 

People are murdered in real life and in television shows and in video games all day and everyday.   We are so desensitized to it that we don’t even give it a passing ear, as we go about the business of taking care of our duties for the day as the tv blares in the background. Our subconscious picks it up and stores it somewhere and then our conscious mind has to leave it stored so that we can go on to more “important things”.  However, we do this as adults with the full knowledge that there has been a transition of sorts in our mind and in order to remain healthy we have to compartmentalize the pain and the drama or else we will just lose it.  We do this constantly as adults.  What must it be like to be a child who does not have the benefit of aged knowledge that murder really should be something to fear? My sister was traumatized by this incident.  All of the adults in her apartment complex that heard the shots and then saw the body were traumatized. She said because it happened late at night, the body was not removed until the morning.  The dead young man was out there all night and no one came to mourn for him. Oh my.  Where were all of his homies then? Where was his mom or dad? I don’t know, perhaps they came and were told to leave so as not to contaminate the crime scene.  I don’t know the answer to that one. What I do know is that my sister has been affected by this incident. I am sure she relives this incident and yet she knows that it has passed and it will soon get better for her. 

There is a phrase not in my backyard (nimby) which indicates as long as it is not in my backyard I don’t really have to care about it. Well times have changed. There are indeed towns where murder is not a factor and that is a good thing; however murder is always possible even in those cities that can rely on low statistics . One murder is one too many. Murder of our children is an abomination and one that our leaders who take away funding should realize is going to get worse. What is a child to do when there is nothing to do? Most children invent games; hide and go seek, four square, and hopscotch are games of the past, now our children keep their heads crooked and their fingers poised either on the controller or the cell phone or the Ipod or the gun or the drug or the knife, never looking up to see what the person who reads the weather teleprompter is saying and that is it is going to be a great day for going outside and enjoying the sun.  Oh to go back to the time of our youths when hide and go seek and coming home when the street lights came on were really all we worried about.  For my sister, this too shall pass.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Sunday

I woke up loved and in love, excited and looking forward to the drive to church.  The place where like-minded humans sit in different seats and worship the Lord. Rest. My children were left in bed!   The singing this morning was off the chains! The choir hit every note and introduced the congregation to a sound that was magnificent.  My best worship feelings arise when I hear words and music that move me. When I feel a tear coming and I feel my words coming out - the presence of the holy spirit has come. The pastor’s sermon was the Love of God. The scripture reference that he chose did not speak to me, the one that did speak to me was the one that was in the front of the church bulletin that morning.  It is from 1 Corinthians 4:1-5 and it reads (NKJV):

“Stewards of the Mysteries of God

 1 Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful. 3 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by a human court.[a] In fact, I do not even judge myself. 4 For I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one’s praise will come from God.”

In particular, verse 5 which told me to stop stressing about what another will or will not do.  In time God will handle and will reveal what is the truth of a person’s heart.  I needed that this morning.  In these times when I am juggling so many balls in the air; paying bills, paying mortgages, taking care of kids and the lawn and going to work and dealing with others personalities, it can overwhelm.  It has caused me in some respects to wish that my knight in shining armor would just come on and hurry up.  However, knights are for fairy tales and if he comes riding in, I have to remember that even he and the horse are tired. After all riding like the wind, wearing full body armor, carrying a big sword, slaying dragons, and making key battlefield decisions can wear the average knight out.   (smile)

God in this scripture is telling me, the Proverbs 31 woman, to remember I have never left you and I have never forsaken you. It tells me to continue to say thank you Lord as my mantra, to walk in faith and to know that He will provide and He will reveal all that is the truth for me. These words are like a blanket that warms me at night. In His arms I am enveloped in trust. He has always been my knight and he has never been too tired to let me know he has my back. God is the real ladies man.  Like a woman he works tirelessly and as long as we sing his praises he will speak to us and let us know that everything is gonna be alright.   And he added stop tripping gurl you are one bad mamma jamma!! I felt satisfied, renewed and refreshed.  That is what going to church and gathering in an assembly of men and women who are seeking to know Him does for me.  Collectively our yearnings combine and all of those cries internal and external are heard and felt and God works it all out for each one of our benefits.  I will retire at 55 and this writing will be my supply. 

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Out of the mouths

My children are challenging and loveable.  I never know when I am going to hear them tell me that I am a good mom and ask for a kiss or whether they are going to tell me that they are tired and go to their rooms and close the door. Either reaction is what I am accustomed to and for the most part it does not bother me, as long as they close the door politely, I am cool with it.  As parent(s) we spend so much time worrying about our children’s feelings, keeping  them preoccupied with the latest gizmo that they have no time to actually sit down and hear their thoughts, and chat with their siblings or their parent.  Every child and many, many adults I know might as well live as an ostrich with its head in the sand.  We have to look up and then do something.  We, as parent, need to set the bar and set it high. Mediocrity is not in my vocabulary for my children.  I want them to be and do better than me and I strongly believe they will. They are children not afraid to try, not afraid to complete, an are ok academically. What you speak you  believe.  There is a saying that states that  a majority of what you hear other people say means nothing compared to what you hear yourself say about yourself.  After hearing that statement some goo gobs of years ago, I made up in mind that my children would hear that I was excited and in love with them and that I think they are smart, beautiful, handsome, a good boy and girl and that knew they were all going to college one day and that was that.

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

Enough

There is something that happens when you decide enough is enough.  At the beginning of the year I decided that I was going to begin 2011 handling the business of Yolande and the kids she loves so much.  I would not call them New Years Resolutions, I would say they are things that I feel must get done for my sanity.  1. I was ready to be in a relationship 2. that I was going to de-clutter the garage, the kids rooms and my room 3. That I was going to have new picture’s framed for the house 4. that I was going to get an article published 4. That I was going to enjoy myself and my children 5. That I was going to write and 6. that I was going to enjoy life.  I am on target and I am proud of myself. 

In order for anything to occur in my life I have to write it down and I have to speak it.  When I write it down, I have to be able to see it in order for the words, the thought, the feeling to become a part of my day-to-day reality.   As I come to the closing weeks of my de-cluttering my bedroom, I look around and have a feeling of accomplishment.  It is in the small goals that we grow.  These little victories allow us to tackle even bigger dreams and one day they will be added to the Yolande victory list. Retiring at 55 is and will be my goal.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Mother’s Law

 Proverbs 6:20-23 (NIV)

20 My son, keep your father’s command
   and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
21 Bind them always on your heart;
   fasten them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will guide you;
   when you sleep, they will watch over you;
   when you awake, they will speak to you.
23 For this command is a lamp,
   this teaching is a light,
and correction and instruction
   are the way to life,

I woke up this morning as usual anticipating a good day.  It is Sunday and Mother’s Day. I woke up in love and loved. Children happy, Charles Stanley in the background and the words of Eminem coming from downstairs. 

The pastors message of course centered on mothers. He entitled his sermon, Mother’s Law and he used the scripture above from Proverbs.  I had one of the many aha moments that I have when I am in church.  The scripture says to keep your fathers commands and mothers teaching and the difference in these 2 words describes the differences in how children respond to their father and to their mother.  Webster.com says that a command means to direct authoritatively (order) and to exercise a dominating influence over; whereas, teach means to cause to know something, to cause to know how and to accustom to some action or attitude.  The differences in these word symbolizes to me the differences in the roles of  fathers and mothers and explains why children react differently to what a mother tells them to do and what a father tells them to do. It explains why when dad says something he only has to say it once and the action immediately is stopped. When moms say something the action rarely if ever stops immediately. In my case my children each with their own personalities never stop in the same way. My oldest who is the comedian in the family is also considered the most laid back and non-reactionary generally gives me the thumbs up and says I got it mom. This never results in anything other than the movement of the thumb in the up direction. My middles son reacts as if I have interrupted him and he is clearly irritated. His response to my request is always followed by at least one of the following: I’m tired mom, why do I have to do it, huh, ooookkkkk, I’m in the bathroom, followed by a lot of  blowing and exhaling.  My daughter’s responses varies depending on what time it is. If I ask her to do something in the morning, she will say ok and go back to sleep, if I ask her around noon she says ok and continues to watch tv with her door closed, if it is in the afternoon she is tired and if it is in the evening she says in a minute mom.  As moms we teach our children everything from how to nurse to how to drive car and they require patience. Patience is indeed what it takes to be a mother. That is why we are the teachers scripturally and in the times in which we live.  

Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445
 

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

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