My Sunday

I woke up this morning at 6ish a.m. and clearly saw a beautiful picture in my dream. I saw this picture that Charles Stanley had taken.  He is a preacher that I watch on television on Sunday mornings who is not only an inspirational preacher he is a very talented photographer.  It is a photo that he took inside a cave when the light came through holes in the cave walls at just the right time.  I then began hearing words in my head.  I knew it was the Holy Spirit. The words became clearer and clearer and then finally at 6:20 a.m. I woke up and wrote “What I give you is for you”.  I was awake and feeling good.  Today was the potluck at church to celebrate the last Sunday of  Black History Month. We went to church.  I was there; however, today the preaching didn’t touch me.  It was nice to be in the presence of others however the word I received this morning was still with me. After service I was asked to help with the Easter play and then with the food for the church ski trip on the 13th.  I said of course. I then sat and ate and chatted with my daughter and several other little girls and the sister on the church who is in charge of the children usher board.  A sweet woman.  The fried chicken was to die for, the candid yams – hmmmmmm, the mac & cheese I made – good – and the potato salad was off  the heezeey!  I, of course, topped it all off with a slice of carrot cake. I was so full and happy. My oldest son was eating somewhere with the other teenagers and my youngest son was nowhere to be found.  He said he didn’t want to eat and he was just sitting in the hall drinking some juice.  He worries me sometimes.  I am not sure if he is just shy or would he just rather be alone.  When it was time to leave I was looking for him – he was standing outside next to the van.  He had already called his best friend and wanted to go over and hang out with him. I let him go.  He seems to light up when he is with him and his friends from his class. He will wear his glasses tomorrow.  And I know that tomorrow will be one of the days when I am going to have exercise all of my mommy patience – because he is not going to want to wear them.  Pray for me. 

After hanging out at the park with my daughter and then taking both boys to another park to play basketball with my oldest’s basketball team mates I went to the 99 cent store!  Now believe it or not at the 99 cent store, the dollar store, any goodwill or thrift shop I am in the heaven.  I love being in this environment.  I love a bargain and when in these stores a bargain is guaranteed to be found.  I also love Burlington Coat Factory, Factory 2 U, DD’s Discounts and Ross – OMG – I have gone directly into heaven!! 

So while in my sanctuary and looking around I began to feel sorry for myself. Sad but not sad.  Melancholy.  I have a tendency to look at others relationships and add more to it. You know I wish I had that or wouldn’t it be nice if I could meet whatever…just mindless mopeyness. While in the candy aisle I spotted my F A V O R I T E candy in the whole wide world SMARTEES!!  It was like I was shaken back into myself – I remember what He said to me this morning ‘What I give you is for you.” I found myself talking to myself – lips moving – thank goodness for bluetooths – people no longer think you are crazy for talking to yourself.  Even though I ws talking to myself out loud.  I said that is so right- gurl get yourself together what a blessing you have you have this gift of writing, you have 3 children who not only love you they love each other, you are able to take care of your own bills and manage your own business and a job that provides.  Your gifts I give you. You will retire at 55.  In other words, when I am ready to give you what I gave Adam except I won’t be giving you an Eve I will be giving you an Adam – you will know it.  Count your blessings Yolande, count them and count them again.

Aha Moment

 I submitted a 2000 word only edited version of the following aha moment for my ‘Aha Moment’ submission to Oprah’s website.  I thought best to post the entire epiphany which was more than 2000 words just for ya’ll. www.oprah.com

O.k. here goes.  Tiger apologized on national television about how he cheated on his wife and his children. I ask why?  I really do not care.  I didn’t watch the interview when it came on and I tried really, really hard not to watch anything about it or listen to anything about it. It was impossible.  Every station after and before it came on had already seen the speech and of course leaked some of it, when it was on it was on everywhere and when it was over not only was it on in sound-bites it was on text scrolled on the bottom of the television screen.  Must we all be voyeurs?  How many men just this past several years have cheated on their wives and their children and left them humiliated by that thing between their legs?  This thing gives life and it takes it away.  It gives life and it takes it away.  IT  GIVES  LIFE  — AND — IT  TAKES  IT  AWAY.

 It takes away something from the child who up until this time believed that their father was their hero.  They believed that their hero was gone so many days away from the family because he was working so hard to make sure that they could have all of the finest things in life and taking care of their mother so she could also.  They believed that when they saw their father on t.v. hopping on one jet after another, standing in front of Congress spouting about what, ” I as the Governor, the Senator, the District Attorney, the academy award winning actor, the Mayor, the teacher, the waste management worker, the pastor, the man on disability” – this man was their hero.  Humf – really now?

Now the children are left to have to try to make sense of this illusion that they have lived under.  They have to listen to the pain in their mothers voices as she tries to stand by her man and then try to leave that same man when he continues to humiliate her and her children.  They are stared at and talked about and other children tease them.  How many of us could live our lives if everyone knew our dirty secrets?  We all have them.  If we don’t, I suspect we must NOT be human.   All of us make mistakes; however, many of us are given grace that allows us to not have the entire world looking at our mistakes.  And not only looking at our mistakes but talking about them on major networks, having other people talk about our business on major networks, having people lie on us on major networks and then have story after story written and embellished and on top of all of that – after our lives have been scrutinized with the finest of all fine toothed combs – we need to apologize to the world? Come on!!! As my momma use to say and I am sure yours did also if the kids next door jump off the roof, will you?  Must we all be lord of the rings people? Can the people who report and write and say how much children mean to them – really put the microphone and the pen to the test and turn it off and put it down.  No speakey, no typey – let’s report the NEWS! Someone’s life is not news.  Has anyone every considered the spouse, the mother, the sister, the aunt who is left to make a major decision about her life and her children’s lives in the midst of this turmoil?  This kind of pain is unimaginable and can be unbearable.  We must take a look at this society and realize that just because you can doesn’t mean you should.  What are we really teaching our children?  Kids do what you do and not what you say.  Who really is the bully?  Is it Tiger or men like Tiger, is it the women or women like these women or is it society who help create these men  who have the thing that takes life away to be able to think they are untouchable.

Women stand up and claim who you are – just because he wants to stick it in ya doesn’t mean you should let him. This whole scandal is one of the many that are reported that is no one elses business – aha. No one else’s business but theirs – aha. As Beyonce states “oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ah oh, oh oh oh oh ah oh oh oh” …… then she turns her  head left to right and right to left, left hand in the hair waving with a beat and stepping out with stiletto’s – you go girl!!

Women’s National Book Association – SF Chapter

SF Writers Conference 2010Women's National Book Club - SF Chapter

Finally I was able to upload some photo’s from the SF Writers Conference! I was the guest of my writing coach, mentor and friend Teresa LeYung Ryan writingcoachteresa@wordpress.com 

and Elisa Southard, the tagline queen and the woman in the pink helmet  www.elisasouthard.com. I met Bob Quinlan www.earnitbook.com a man with a great sense of humor, wonderful philosophy on empowering yourself for love,  Margie Yee Webb, a dynamic and energetic writer and owner of the Cat Mulan mywebb@sbcglobal.net , a new mom and good soul Victoria A. Hudson www.throwrockpaperscissors.blogspot.com
and Linda Lee website designer extraordinaire www.askmepc.com!!

Writing Coach Teresa & Web Designer Linda Lee

All of these women and the one lone man that I met sparked in me an enthusiasm for the creative side of me. Being with people who enjoy telling a story lights my fire.  One of the things I realized is that in order to promote we must step out of our boxes.  And that is uncomfortable. Sitting around a banquet room of performers and ego’s and those who love the pen and words is amazing.  I always had a sense that I was a little loopey this just seals the deal.  I realized that my crying when I see someone who is doing something that I feel their passion is o.k.  I saw passion in the women and men that I met.  The same kind of passion that I feel the minute I begin to write, type, hear, smell, taste and move to the rhythms that make me feel  something!  

Inspirational Creative Women

Creativity the ability to see words, touch sounds, feel and KNOW what someone in the 15th century mighta’  coulda’ thought about and write it so clear that even I can think that thought. That is what it is all about the ability to create something from what you hear in your head and see through your eyes is wonderful. I know it is God thought and it is my thought and it is our thoughts that make the creative soul, the spirit come alive.  I know sounds kinda’ hooey – however if you are anything like me – you get it!

A challenge

My writing coach is pushing me again and I love it.  I must not only blog daily now I have to present.  Hmmm – it is a good thing.  Challenging however possible.  My children had a great day.  Beds were made, homework was done and dinner was eaten before I came home.  Yippee!  I was a little tired however not as tired as yesterday.  Today I felt a rush of creativeness.  It is always a wonderful feeling that makes me want to do everything in my brain all at one time.  I know that that is not possible in reality however my brain just says to me write the vision and make it plain.  Write it down and it will materialize.

Today I wore black skinny jeans, black comfortable Maddens and a shirt that has Obama’s face on the front and the wording “This Mama hearts Obama”.  I bought it the week before he won the presidency and wore it the day after he won.  The most important thing about the shirt to me is that it is way cute on me and makes me look slim.  The other important thing is that he did win and he is the President.  Whenever I wear it I receive compliments and they ask me where I purchased it.  My response is some  hoochy store in the mall.  When I say hoochy store what that means is that I don’t know the name of the store however they had cute hoochy clothes and I happened to find something in there for my 49-year-old body.  In writing to retire at 55 I am inspired.  Today one of my co-workers asked me an interesting question or rather she made a comment on the shirt. Her question/statement was do they let you wear that?  I kind of stammered in my brain before I responded questioningly I said ‘let? ‘  then she backed off a little and said well I guess it is ok ,it is not like he is running or anything he is the President.  I said well I wore it the day after he became president and many times since.  I don’t know if let is the right word or not but I wear it and no one has said anything about it.  She kinda’ giggled I did to so, as not to make her feel uncomfortable.  We were in the elevator – at that point the doors opened and I got out.  I was left in a  bit of a haze from her statement the whole ‘let’ word bothered me.  My thinking is at this stage of the game called life if I have to ‘let” someone allow me to wear or not to wear something I am in a little bit of trouble.  As long as it is not something where all of my business is hanging out or there is some kind of obscene gesture or language on the shirt – ‘let’ to me is non-existent.  I have never really been able to quite put my finger on my personality.  I am not naturally afraid or intimated by people or situations I am just cautious.  I find that over time, there are some people that I encounter daily at work, that don’t really quite know how to take me.  Yes I am friendly and outgoing; I can also be introspective quiet and often times I think that people think I can read their minds or their body language.  I can often times see nervousness in other people when they speak to me or about me.  I see this nervousness when I am done some kind of injustice on purpose by the other person.  I can feel them shrivel up in my presence.  This is generously when I turn on the God stuff, I let them know that the Lord can supply. I ask them to pray for this or for that, I tell them to praise Him, I tell them to walk around their Jericho’s walls and I tell them to fill their water pots.  Something about this kinda’ talk does make people a little uneasy around me.  I sense a great work is inside of me just waiting for me to put it out one day.

That day will be Friday.  I have taken the day off.  I plan to go to my children’s schools honor roll/student of the month program in the morning and then come home and write.  I need to have quiet in order to allow the thoughts to flow and the fingers to fly across the keys.  I am genuinely looking forward to the time tomorrow.  Tonight I am going to sleep and think on what I want to say. I read that your last thought at night will be your first thought in the morning.  I want my thoughts to always be of welcoming the new day and praising Him for allowing me to see it  and experience it through my eyes and the eyes of my children. Amen.

Wiped out

Today was my photolight therapy appt. and I am wiped out. I have psoriaris.  Then when I came back in the office my cycle came back yet again – full blown.  I am wiped out!  I need to retire at 55 so I need to write.  I am exhausted. Will have to BLOG later.

In my head

My Monday was so intense. I was up at 5:30 a.m. and home at 11p.m. Once a month on a Monday night I have a meeting at work that I set up and take the minutes for.  I do enjoy hoever it makles for a long day. A former boss of mine presented a powerpoint presentation that almost brought me to tears.  What she spoke about and what she was shin to me were both equally important.  However her to me and me to her I would say there was a connection. In my head, I could remember how she used to present and how she presents now.  It was amazing .

Sunday

I think that Sunday is my favorite day of the week.  It is the time that I look forward to to go into the house of the Lord.  I find that I wake up anticipating what is going to happen at service.  It feels good to want to be there and be there on time, not just dragging in at any old time.  The sermon today was about examining onself.  Being introspective and learn what it is that makes us tick realizing that what we learn may require a re-thinking process. Something to think about, huh?