This Rest Thing

I realize that this rest thing has been highly underrated by – me.  Yes. Me.  Today I made myself rest – all day.  I woke up this morning to the booming voice of John Hagee saying that we should never let anyone make us so angry that we lose the connection to God.  He speaks of the power of discipline.  The power and the ability to not express unrestrained anger.  He added that what we can walk away from will determine what God can bring to you.  What an interesting several sentences.  My eyes were busy thinking and gazing at my company for the day. The television. 

I watched in muted silence The View, I called my sister and we were chatting about everything and nothing. I then watched Martha Stewart make some papier-mache eggs. I then heard Judge Mathis, Judge Joe Brown and Dr. Christiane Northrup – I Love her.  She has brought me to the healthy conclusion that growing older is growing better and a blessing in that you can always start again. Oh I forgot to mention that I saw Divorce Court.  While listening, I was on thne cell phone, calling about a plumbing permit that I have not yet received from the company that had come out and done the repair of my plumbing line at the rental, I was also calling Delta Dental about whether the kids had a balance or not, I checked on-line for a hand truck, they had one on sale at Big Lots, however just wanted to make sure $28 was a good deal.  It turns out it was.  I spoke with my writing coach Teresa today, I answered some work emails and I went to pick up the kids, go to Big Lots with my little diva and bought myself hand truck and a moving dolly! 

So you say, big deal, Well to me – it is a big deal.  This mindless viewing of television and work eased me into the restful state my mind needed to be in to realize that I could go and purchase a hand truck. It really is the little things in life that keeps us moving.  I intend to move towards the positiveness of life.  I intend to examine. On The View, the octamon came bounding out about 115 lbs. soaking wet and trying to convince the viewing audience and probably herself that she really is not crazy, and of course that she has enough of her to go around to interact with each of these 14 children. All I can say is please.  I listened to her for a little while, at times I looked up from my work to take a hard look at her.  She almost seems plastic. On the Divorce Court there was the usual accusations of him not giving me enough money, him not working, she has gotten too fat, she doesn’t work because she stays home with the kids, he has nothing to  say.  The same ole’ thing. I think she needs a rest.

My surgery was last Wed.  I am still having spotting and pains in my stomach. The kind that make you want to stop for 1/2 a second to wait until the grumbling passes. I am climbing in the bed, pain medicine ingested with the covers tightly over my head. Remote near my forehead and pillow underneath my shoulder for support. I flick the remote for a few times and then finally settle on my favorite Law & Order. My restful state is now in full beginning swing. I am sure that this retiring at 55 is going to happen, it is working out pretty good for now.

Yolande Barial. Sensual, Spiritual and On-Purpose

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Sunday

I woke up this morning listening to Joel Osteen and he was saying that we should enjoy our journey. So many of us spend most of our time waiting for the next thing to happen and we rarely take the time to enjoy the journey; the travel experience, the what we look at on the way to where we are going, playing, laughing, resting, thinking, hugging, sleeping and loving.  The journey is what makes the endpoint all worth it.  I love Sundays. I love going to church.  I didn’t attend today because I was resting. I am doing what my doctor’s say and not lift anything larger than a gallon of milk and to not do anything around the house at least for the first week.  After listening to Joel, I went downstairs and cooked my children a fabulous breakfast – omelettes bacon, sausage, grits, toast and juice. I then came back up stairs and laid down. I had some pain in my lower torso. Yes, I know I am supposed to be doing what my doctor said and I did it – well kinda, a little, well, not really. The kids have to eat ya’know.

 Soon my girlfriend arrived and she drove and we went grocery shopping and then came home and she cooked dinner. Fried pork chops, rice-a-roni and corn.  We laughed and talked and sat on the back porch bonding.  The kids had their friends over and they were doing what kids do – playing video games, riding skateboards and bicycles and running in and put of the house. It was a nice warm sunny day and the smell and sounds of lawnmowers and fresh cut grass and bbq grills was wafting from homes  throughout the neighborhood. 

She is my girlfriend that has an amazing strength, an ability to kind of go through life as if  she has no troubles.  She almost walks on water in that she rises above whatever it is that should affect her and keeps on walking to whatever her mind sees as the destination.  Sometimes that can be dangerous and sometimes that can be a blessing.  Dangerous, well because we all know that reality kicks in and if you are living in la la land, it can knock you flat on your behind if not prepared.  It can cause destruction in all lives connected with the one walking on water.  Blessing, it can be a blessing because it allows the one walking on water to not feel the intensity of the drama and well just enjoy the journey. Never being affected by the storm.  I can not pass judgement on her way of living or any of my diva sisters ways of living and going through what they go through.  I will say, she and they enjoy the journey and speak of the journey and share the journey and live the journey and flourish in the journey. When she left, I straightened up and my daughter and I ate the dinner that she cooked.  Delicious!  I then came upstairs to watch my favorite show – 60 minutes.  I rested.  Later I gave my daughter her Sunday manicure and pedicure.  I think I enjoy the time more than she does. The boys ate dinner and had their evening dessert of ice cream. My middle sons asthma was pestering him all day, I gave him a breathing treatment. He slept through it.

Today I enjoyed the day.  My favorite Sunday.  I began with God and I end with God.

Yolande Barial,  Sensual, Spiritual, Passionate and On Purpose – a writer.

Sleep

I slept on and off all day today.  My body was telling me and showing me that I needed to rest,  I obeyed. I am now feeling my old energy coming back – slowly but surely.  My brain is now firing on what I need to present at the upcoming conference in Biloxi, Ms. in November and also trying to decide what I need to do to make my blog more visually appealing. As my writing coach Teresa (www.WritingCoachTeresa.com) instructs I should always include tags and link my name and my body of work to those I admire.  This will be my task this evening. Writing to retire at 55 and take care of these absolutely fantastic children God has blessed me with in my life.
My middle son had his soccer game today.  They lost 2 to 1. It was a pretty intense game.  I was unable to attend however his best friends’  mother came and picked him up and brought him home.  When he came home he was so excited.  It took him about 2 minutes just to be able to tell me the score.  He  has this stutter that gets worse when he is excited. I smile at him and just look at him until he gets it all out.  He said the team was good and that when the game was over the other teams coach came up to him and asked him if he ever thought about playing competitive.  He said not at this time.  That made him feel good.  The score let me know that both teams were equally matched. My oldest son had a basketball team banquet this morning at the local breakfast hot spot.  Again, I could not attend, another team mother came and picked up my son and brought him home. He was also excited when he came home.  He said that he and another kid were given the award for leadership of the team.  He had a certificate and a star patch.  He was jazzed.  Now what more can a mother can ask for? Great boys and kind boys and boys that others see their potential even when I am not around. My daughter spent the day on the laptop playing games and doing what she does best – writing and making up stories.  One of our neighbors came over in the afternoon and braided my daughters hair.  Her boyfriend did a little work around my house – moving things.   
I am blessed to have mothers and neighbors that take care of my children as I would take care of theirs. My sleep today was restful and needed. The mere fact that I can sleep and the children were able to be productive and have their fun is a good thing. God is so good to me. 
Yolande Barial,
 “Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

All Done

Well it seems like forever.  I have been itching and scratching to get back to typing on my keyboard. Being told that you are not in control was a powerful lesson that I am still trying to learn.  After coming out of a 5 hour procedure that was supposed to have taken 2 hours I was told that I was going home that day! What? I was flabbergasted and disgusted.  The first thing that flashed in my mind was the traffic – it was going to be close to 5 p.m. by the time I was released and I knew that meant me sitting in traffic for hours and hours.  It meant that I would inconvenience my girlfriend and that I would not be allowed to rest.  Rest is something I was so looking forward to.  Resting alone in a hospital room being catered to and poked and prodded yet I would be alone.  Not having to talk to anyone if I didn’t want to. Now I was being told that I was being released. Almost as if I had been doing time in some prison somewhere and they announced that I would be allowed to go home.  Where would I go, who would feed me, where would I get my clothes and could I ever get a job and take care of myself?  All of those feelings that an inmate must feel, I felt that I felt them also.  Kind of strange but so true.  After having a crying, whining episode in the hospital with RNs, aides and a surgeon staring at me with that ‘oh baby it’ll be ok look on their faces’, I cried some more.  Then I came to my senses and asked where were my glasses and demanded that I need to have my medicine for my psoriasis.  I must’ve told them that a million times.  They didn’t see the need to rush around and look for either and actually didn’t even appear to care.  My RN began walking away from me very slowly and asking in a loud voice if  anyone was given a pair of glasses for her patient.  No one cared and no one responded.  They were all busy with their other ‘coming-down-off-of-anesthesia-patients-who-were-acting-unreasonable-over-what-they,the-staff-considered-to-be-nothing.’  It wasn’t nothing to me – you see, if I can’t see, I can’t hear nor concentrate because I must have my vision to focus on your words.  Kind of wierd if you don’t wear glasses; however, if you do, and wear them all of the time like I do – you understand what  I mean, don’t you?

Finally I was released into the care of my aunt.  On the way home in the car, we had to pull over because I became nauseas.  I found out later that even though she has been working in the medical profession her entire career, the one thing that brings her to her knees is the sight of vomit.  Not blood and guts, not bones broken and head and stomach wounds but vomit.  She is completely paralyzed by it.  Fortunately for me and for everyone on that road that day, she was able to pull over, I got out and nothing came up – it was just the feeling of coming that one gets when it is almost right there at the top of your throat waiting.  Then it goes away. 

The lesson I learned is that I am not in control of everything.  As much as I made sure that the kids were in order, my house was in order, my job was in order and my order was in order – it wasn’t. Well, now I don’t mean that it wasn’t – everything was in order that I could control – my kids, the job, my house – now the things I couldn’t control was the entire hospital experience.  That was in the hands of the hospital people.  Timing and staffing and just good-natured humanity was in their hands. I can say that my first experience checking in that morning was beautiful. My girlfriend and I walked into the hospital and were met with cheery maintenance men at 6 a.m., happy security guards at 6 a.m., cheery other patients at 6 a.m. and a wonderful RN male with one of the best and warmest personalities this side of the Mississippi.  I would give him the nurse of the year award.  He was by far the friendliest and warmest and the funniest that a man could be at 6a.m. and we had not slept together – just funny!  He was there before all of the other rn’s were.  He was on time and ready to work.  He was there to make you feel comfortable in a situation where discomfort is to be expected. He is an RN’s RN. We need more of these kind of men with 2 first names.  He was not in my control however he was in my control.  What I mean by that is that I surround myself with those who have vision, who have focus, who want to do and be and continue to grow.  He was that kind of person.  He lightened the mood. His ability to make all of us going into surgery that morning feel so comfortable – made the end, the check out procedure from the hospital more tolerable. 

 When I was given the choice at the very end by the surgeon who insisted that I would do better at home over and over again, and the RN who continued to assert that my family did care about me and I should let them help me and hearing that over and over again and after them seeing me fall apart finally the surgeon and the RN said you can stay if you want to – in that high-pitched voice that you hear women squeal whenever a baby comes into the office.  I was even more disgusted.  My mind raced back and forth about what to do, stay or go, stay or go, stay or go. Remember I had just come out of surgery about 2 hours before this and was still drugged from the anesthesia, I was in no condition to make such a decision.  I remember saying that you guys don’t want me here and I don’t want to be here because it is too negative.  I opted to leave.  I am glad I did.  Even high on some pretty powerful drugs,  having had a laparoscopic hysterectomy and a sling, I was still able to realize that this situation was not of my control however it was also one where I did not need to be. 

I removed myself from them so that I could go to a place where my comfort lies.  My home, my peeps and my family. My children were being taken care of by a woman who I call my mother-in-law and even they had their own control. I would come to find out the next day that my middle son, the chef, asked my mother-in-law,  they call her grandma. Grandma what are you doing here, we don’t need a babysitter we are too old for that? She said she responded, well can I just spend the night then? And he said Yes.  Retiring at 55 and writing away.  Not bad for someone whose control is well, limited, to what one can control.

Yolande Barial

Inspirational, sensual and on-purpose

Tomorrow

I will be at Kaiser for my surgery tomorrow morning at 6a.m. I am looking forward to it.  It is the beginning of the rest of the best of my years. I am having a hysterectomy. I will be retiring at 55 and writing you know, this is a good thing.  Many of my diva sisters and some of my aunts and co-workers have had one and say it was one of the best decisions they have made. I have encountered the people who wince when I say it and ask me if I am scared.  These are the same people who are scared of quite a few things. God has been good to me and my children and I am blessed to be able to have the spirit that allows me to welcome this next  journey.  We only get one life, I plan to enjoy it from beginning to beginning to beginning.  Every age is an opportunity to begin anew. I will touch bases again sometime late Thursday.  Off to sleep now.

Yolande Barial, “Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

The Cook – Sunday

Well the cook in the house made mashed potatoes the first Sunday, the second Sunday he made sweet and sour chicken and this Sunday he has announced that he is making barbecue chicken.  He has not yet decided what else he wants to cook. I can tell you that if anyone would have told me something as simple as cooking would make such a difference in my middle sons entire way of relating, I wouldn’t believe it.  It has made a difference.  The glasses are no longer an issue.  The crying has stopped and he is much more even tempered. 

I know that the real reason is that I listened to him.  I took the time to figure out what he needed in order to fit in this very loud and active and busy household.  He needed his own space and he needed time with me – in his way. Not in my way.  I am so extremely grateful that God continues to send the perfect person to speak to me when I need it.  That person was my co-worker and dear friend.  She is retiring in June.  She is 66. I am going to miss her so.  I realize that she deserves to go and enjoy the rest of the best of her life.  I am selfish I am going to miss her.  She supplies me with my favorite chips.  The spicy ones. She loves barbecue chips and she has a way of throwing the chips into her mouth and chomping on the chips.  They make that loud crunching noise that lets you know she is loving every chomp! She reminds me of a little puppy that gets so excited when you toss him something to eat.  She loves chips.  I hang out at her desk and we chat about something, everything and nothing.  She is a beautiful woman with a very open heart. She will be missed.

I thank her again for allowing me to sit back and take a look at any situation in another way.  She gives me perspective and quite frankly honest feedback.  She makes me think and think until I come up with an answer that she already knew existed.  She has helped me to be a better mother and in so doing she has given my middle son something of his own.  Something that he can do and everyone enjoys. His brother and sister love his food and they tell him and I of course tell him and brag about him to anyone that will listen.  The cook is emerging and that is a good thing.

Yolande Barial a unique voice in the world of on-purpose spoken passion.

Fruitful

As one of my bestest coworker friends says every time she calls me on the phone – her desk is about 20 steps from my office: “did you miss me?” (smile)

Well I am back!  I have been extremely fruitful. Joyce Meyer says that we should stop complaining about being busy and if we are doing something we should be fruitful. In other words, whatever we are doing, it should bear fruit.  If it is being mom taxi – being fruitful means to take your bundles of  joy to their destinations and bring them back. If it is resting – being fruitful  means resting , doing nothing, resting!!! If you are working being fruitful means working.  I know, I know this is a little much; however you get it right?  The ideal would be to work for 8 hours?  Ha! How many of us really work for a full 8 hours?

By the time you finish making coffee, talking to the person in the coffee-room, looking for sugar, walking out of the kitchen sitting down in your chair oops then remembering you forgot to say good morning to your pregnant co-worker and then you say “chello” to her and she asks you some ‘first-time pregnant woman question’ and you the old pro gives her some of your fruit/wisdom and then here comes the office coworker who is never happy and  ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS has some kind of problem to spill out to you.  Now, this yakity yak coworker really doesn’t want any solutions, so you walk with her and off to the right just a little bit so that you can scoot back into the kitchen because you need some more coffee.  If you are lucky your boss pops his head in the kitchen – the place where all things begin and end and says he has a question.  You say excuse me, wink at your boss because he finally remembered the signal)  and go sit down. Fresh cup of hot coffee with 2 sugars in your hand.  By the time you do all of this it is 9:30 a.m.

Fruitful – the last time I was able to blog was on March 19th.  Can you believe it? That was 20, 21, 22 – 3 days ago! I have been so fruitful.  On Saturday, the 20th my 14-year-old had to be in Berkeley at 8:30 a.m. for is UC Berkeley program, so I drove him and his younger sister there to meet their father in Oakland so that he could take him to Berkeley.  His father has a mustang that for some reason can’t seem to drive the 40 minutes from Oakland to Tracy because; well, he only knows the answer to that question. What I see is that he doesn’t want to drive to Tracy. Remember he is a passive aggressive.  He is going to do the least that he can do to irritate me so that it looks like I AM KARAZY! Well I have his number – no respone to his lack of driving.   So, in order to ensure that my children see their father I make the drive and meet him.  We exchange kids.  I could be ugly and not to do it and then they would never see him. He loves them and he gives them gifts, lots of hugs and kisses and calls each one of them every day – I guess some physical connection is better than none.  None is what they would have if it were up to him.

I drive back from Berkeley to Tracy and wake up my 11-year-old.  He has an 11 a.m. soccer game. His first game with this soccer league.  He was super jazzed. He is an excellent soccer player and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. His team was awesome. They won 7 or 8 to 0.  other team they played appeared to be clueless as to how to play.  My son was a sight to see.  His little body is lean and no fat at all.  He has been doing sit ups and push ups since I think he was about  7 years old. He has a rock hard 6-pack stomach and he is so proud of it.  He likes to walk around with his little muscle shirt on and I always tell him how fine he is.  he smiles and gives me this knowing look.  He is so cool and he can be cocky. I loves me a cocky man!  That may be my problem, Huh?  

Anywho, after the game we went home and he changed clothes and then we drove back to the Oakland area.  I met my ex in Emeryville and dropped off the middle son and now my ex had all 3.  I was off to Vallejo for Diva Day.

Diva Day is an entire book in itself.  We are a groupd of 5 women who have been meeting at least every other month for what we call Diva Day.  This is our day without kids to do what we want.  We give ourselves manicures and pedicures, we hire a masseuse who comes to the house and gives each one of us at least 45 minutes, we eat, we laugh, we don’t drink any alcohol – coffe, tea, water, juice, we cry, we listen to each other pour out our hearts and we laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh, we dance and we talk and then sometimes we sit quietly as we listen to some piece of music that touches each of our souls.  We have been doing this for 9 years.  Can you believe it?  We also share each others birthdays, we share our childrens’ and our mens’ birthdays, we share holidays and we go to each others houses to hang out.  We have even instituted a Little Diva Day for our daughters, nieces and granddaughters. The loved it as we do.  The time to begin this hootnanny was at 3.  I was there.  The diva in me released.  This is my me time and theirs also.  We are fruitful.

From there I went back to my sisters house in Richmond to pick up my 3 children.  My ex had tired of his kids that he sees only every now and then and as usual he drops them off at whomever house I designate on the rare occassions I will be later. This time it is my sisters house in Richmond. Around 9:30 p.m. I pick them up and drive home. We get home and I remember that the pioneer school house was not yet finished.  Oh my – I did one side for my My daughters project. I’tll have to get finished on Sunday.  The kids were sleep when we pulled out of Richmond, so you know they were still asleep when we arrived home.  They oozed into their beds. I did also.

The next morning was Sunday and my favorite day.  It was church, my daiughter had a birthday party to attend and my boys were chilling.  I decided to let them sleep in because I had run them so hard.  I am glad I did.  Church was wonderful and peaceful.  I love Sundays and I love my church.  I have to talk about the pastors message in my red room. www.redroom.com/member/YOLANDEBARIAL

After service and my daughter left for her party with her BFF and her family. I went to the dollar store ( I know you are sooooo jealous – I love the dollar store) and then I went grocery shopping.  When I came home I was exhausted! The boys put up the groceries and I cooked.  3 meals and washed clothes. I am having surgery on Wednesday and will be away again for another few days.  I am looking forward to it.

We attended an awards ceremony for all of the athletes at my son’s high school. My oldest son received a certificate for being the Outstanding Athlete on the Freshmen team! The kids and I went and had a nice time at the ceremony.  This is for the kids who are not only good athletes, are polite, team players, know their game and also get good grades.  I was beaming and flashing photo’s of my son.  Did I tell you he is such a good boy?

My blog tonight may not be of substance – nothing too deep. Just letting you know I haven’t forgotten ya – I have just been fruitful.

So, would you say I was busy or fruitful?  I choose fruitful.

Yolande Barial, “Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”