God Is

Good morning,

Yesterday I woke up with a tightness in my chest.  I took 2 Rolaids and took the kids to school, took grandma to work, went by the post office where my P.O. Box is located (which was closed – the post office is really cutting back), the tightness in my chest was more uncomfortable and my lower stomach area was a little painful. I decided I was hungry. On my way home, I stopped at Mimi’s for breakfast – french toast, eggs over easy, bacon, orange juice and coffee and my book – Max Lucado’s 3 books in one. This book was about God and our angels. I then drove home. Put on my pajama’s and crawled in the bed. My chest was killing me by then.  I took some medicine.

The phone rang, I answered and attempted to get up. The pain shot through my chest and I actually moaned out loud. I was nervous. I went and picked up the kids from school. Came home and called Kaiser’s advice nurse. He and the doctor came on the line and told me, after asking a lot of questions, that I need to go to the emergency room. I called a friend and we went. I was told not to drive myself.  It was around 4:40 pm when we arrived at Kaiser, Modesto.

Emergency Room – I walked in because he had to park the van, and apparently from all of the stares I received, had come in the wrong way.  I realized from talking to my girlfriend this morning, who has worked in hsopital emergency rooms, that what I did was violate some kind of protocol.  I came in the wrong way, I was walking, I didn’t look sick and every one of the ladies that were there were on some kind of notice because of this violation.  I was walking , holding the left side of my chest and the ladies just all looked at me and when I said I need to check in. The first one I saw told me, you came in the wrong way. No expression, no sympathy.  I said ok, but I need to check in. She said are you having some kind of emergency? I said with tears in my eyes, yes I think I am having a heart attack.  The 6 ladies just looked at me. No emotion. My girlfriend told me that these blank stares were because they thought I was a young woman and not some 49 year old woman about to have a heart attack. She said that I don’t look 49. I said oh. The one lady, who I think was in charge of them, came around to sit me in a wheelchair. No emotion from her and not even a question. She wheeled me to the ‘right side’ of the hospital and told the guy who as checking in people, that I came in the wrong way and “she needs to be checked in”.    

O-Kaaay, by then my friend came in the ‘right way’ and was standing with me. Then the check-in guy acted as if I was NOT sitting there. Big blue wheelchair and holding my chest.  The check-in guy began to ask me questions and as far as both of us could tell, he wasn’t even listening to me. So, I stopped talking and asked him are you listening to me?  His head kinda’ shook (probably to get the marbles in the right places in his head) and then said, ‘ok what are your symptoms?’ I said, ‘you weren’t listening when I was talking, so are you sure you are listening now?’  He was looking at me and typing – I doubt he was really listening. Oh well. I was then directed to sit down and wait to be called in to the ER. From then on, I dealt with professionals.  The nurses in the ER were nice, friendly, they smiled, accommodating, attentive, asked questions and listened to my answers. The doctor was the same and friendly and concerned.  His concern was that he thought I might have a blood clot in my lungs. I had an ekg, blood work, chest x-rays and a cat scan. It turns out that there is some abnormality. No heart attack. No blood clot. The doctor thought that when I was exercising I pulled a muscle in my chest and the pain will subside over time.  I was given  ibuprofen  and vicodin. I arrived home around 10 p.m.

My daughter was the only one up that night when I came home. She is always the only one waiting up for me when I leave the house. She waits until I get home before she goes to sleep. She asked me how I was, I told her that everything is ok and that I just have some pain in my chest caused by pulling a muscle in my chest.  We did our usual good night ritual. I kissed her and told her goodnight. I closed the door and came into my room. My chest was hurting. I turned on the shower and then I heard crying. I went into her room and she was crying. I asked her what’s wrong and after trying to talk through her tears she said ‘I am sorry that I was so mean to you.’ I said ‘oh honey, don’t cry and thank you for the apology.’ I told her that I loved her and everything was going to be ok.  I kissed her and told her to stop crying and dried her tears and she laid back down and went to sleep. This morning she woke up, got herself together and then while I was getting dressed I heard a knock on my door. There she was standing there with a cup of coffee! Oh my…I smiled and told her thank you and told her I loved her.  I asked her what made her want to do such a nice thing for mommy? And she said I thought you might want a cup of coffee. I already had a cup of coffee. I thanked her and told her I always like coffee! I told her I was proud of her. She smiled and left.

All I know is that God is good. I have great children and good health. Slowing down and enjoying the moments is a good thing. I do indeed do way too much and I guess God is telling me yet AGAIN that I had better slow it down cause I have 3 little people counting on me.

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

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