God Does

     Sunday is not only my favorite day it also happens to be the day set aside to honor all mothers biological and other. The pastor’s message this morning came from Genesis 12 and tells the story of  Hagar and her son Ishmael being told to leave Abraham’s house because his wife Sara does not like the fact that her husband threw a party for his son. He titled this message what’s a mother to do? He spoke about mothers who often times end up raising their children without a husband for various reasons, mother is doing this all alone.  It is tough, it is not fair and it is exhausting however the message here is don’t give up. If you read this story you will read that at some point, all alone in the desert with her baby boy and no water; Hagar leaves him under a bush and walks away because she does not want to see him die because she can no longer provide for him. He needs water and there is none to be found in the desert.  Here the pastor said something that I have never heard described in this story and that is that Hagar was leaving him to be devoured by the animals.  She was walking away because she felt that she had done all that she could and had pleaded with God to provide and still nothing. She had given up.  Soon the Lord heard the baby’s cry and He told Hagar to go and get your child and then all of a sudden water appeared in the desert and Hagar was able to provide. She stayed with Ishmael until he became an adult caring for him throughout his life and she even got him a wife and Ishmael eventually became a father of a nation.  What I felt here is that God does indeed love our children.  We have to not give up and walk away from our kids when things get tough.  We have to not leave them to the animals of the world; the people on the street, the drug dealers, the people who want to coerce your child into doing something that could lead him or her to prison, the people who cheat on tests, who do not make any contribution to a better world and who do not respect authority – these are the animals, if allowed, will devour our children. If we don’t train up our children believe me someone else will.  That someone else is waiting in the edges of your life just waiting for you, the mother, to give up.  Call on the Lord to be the protector of your child and He will provide for your children.  God is watching our children.

Today my three children gave me a great mothers day gift and that was the gift of solitude.  After church, my oldest son went over his friend’s house, my middle son and daughter came home with me and did their chores and then went down the street and around the corner to their friend’s house.  I put on my pj’s and made myself my favorite meal minus the grits.  I had eggs over easy, bacon and toast spread with grape jelly and a cup of coffee. I ate this in front of the t.v. watching a movie “Four Christmases”, a comedy that I really did enjoy. I cried a little for myself and then quickly recovered by saying out loud Thank you Lord.  I cried for just a minute because the realization of the past year hit me at service this morning.  My relationship is indeed over and it is sad and good all wrapped into one. Sad because I loved him yet good because love is not always enough.  I listened to the Lord and he did also.  He told us both to leave each other alone.  It will be honored.  I can’t tell you how many times I have stayed where I really should not remain.  Retiring at 55, I got it now.  Well maybe I got it well, right now… (ok ok…) Listening to the Lord and following his wise path is what I have lived to really know. That knowing is internal and it is a gut feeling.  A feeling that I now honor.  The feeling is nurturing and calming and the warmth that I feel inside my body tells me that the Holy Spirit is walking with me. I also believe that I have a few angels swirling around me throughout the day to guide my footsteps and my tongue.  All feelings felt do not need to be spoken, they can be felt, processed and if good for you kep;t if not let it go and let God provide.

I received mothers day cards from family and friends and a whole of texts of happy mothers day. My oldest gave me a musical mothers day card that he was so excited about picking out all by himself that he forgot to sign the card. It was sweet. My daughter had already made me several items from school and the brownies. My middle son forgot.  After he came home from his friend’s house I could tell that he remembered. He went to CVS and came home with a bouquet of pink roses, a card where he wrote that even though he gets made at me he still loves me and he added that I am the best mom and he signed it.  He also gave me a large bag of peanut m&m’s.  I cried and hugged him and kissed him. I was happy. 

I was happy that I was blessed with an amazing family that still today says the words that mean family and real friendships to me. I love you. My family never leaves a gathering without everyone hugging and kissing and saying I love you. There is no reason for anyone in my family to doubt the genuineness of that love.  My children embody that love. They are expressing the I love you’s in their actions today and in the individual acts that they did for me today. As my diva sister says ain’t God good? And let the church say Amen.

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

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