What God Says

It has taken me a few days and I know what it means – it is  what God says. Not what I say, or anyone else in my life says – it is just what God says. I am a believer that when I hear something and whatever it is, if I write it down, there is a lesson to be learned or something to be seen for the first time with my older eyes and ears. I think that when I get these feelings the results are some kind of change, some kind of  aha moment, an epiphany, a new way of thinking or a life altering decision.

This week my boss was out-of-town at a conference and I was the little boss while he was gone.  It was an intense week. I worked every day for a minimum of 8.5 hours without a lunch break.  Well now that sounds like I didn’t eat, I ate, I just never left the building, I ate at my desk between emails, phone calls and the occasional office worker who talks to loud standing outside my office without a door.  I am not writing to complain, I am simply explaining the words that inspired me for this week. God says to believe his words and not yours.  Follow His lead and don’t take off on your own guidance without it being filtered through God. I was intense, I was focused and I was calm. There were one or two things that went askew and those were manageable.  I have performed my bosses job; as well as mine without an assistant several times when he has been out-of-town.

What I learned from each time “acting” for him is that I DO NOT WANT TO BE THE BOSS!  Never, ever , ever AND NEVER AGAIN!  I see so much backbiting and glances between individual department heads, the rolling of eyes,  the arguing with you without looking at you, the micromanager and the gossip – I don’t want to be the boss.  I will retire at 55 and make this thing work for me – the writing. I have spent all of this time with these people. These people will ignore you for days without any reprieve. I asked the Lord to give me my words and He says do what I say not what you say or anyone else says. He did give me the words in that he says in Proverbs a wise man holds his tongue a fool tells everything he knows.  I was a wise man white knuckling it though. Just hanging on to every word that I wanted to say and remembering I really don’t want to be a fool but um under the circumstances this may just be the moment! It is hard when you are trying to do the right thing and behave in a manner fitting of someone who says she loves the Lord when other people do not even have a clue of what common respect of others look like. I made it.  I did what God says and I am blessed to have these words and these scriptures and the people in my life to keep me grounded in reality and not in what it could be. I always fall back into the phrase ‘it’s not fair’.  Well life isn’t fair. However we can be fair.

It took about 2 hours to get home today, I was in Memorial Day get-a-way weekend traffic.  I knew I was going to be sitting and I was prepared. A can of Coke, a water bottle, a bag of Doritos-spicy and a whole lot of my favorite candy – Smartees, all of my favorite cd’s and my driver seat was comfortably adjusted for chilling.  Now what could be better. Oh and I might add the sun was out and the weather was perfect for sitting in traffic. Not too hot and not too cold. Beautiful.

When I arrived my children were in good spirits. Real silly.  My daughter pulls out  a cell phone to say look what she found.  After a little bit of talking, I found out that she found it at the park and that she liked it and she wanted it.  I explained to her that she could not have it and that we had to call the owner and return it to them. She was not happy.  We were on our way into one of  both of our favorite places Goodwill, and once inside the store she totally forgot about the cell phone.  My shopping, discount store lover, little diva proclaimed she needed a purse.  She looked until she found one. I found some dresses and she found a purse that according to her she has been looking for, for a very long, long time and she was going to use it for school when she got in the 4th grade. I smiled. When we arrived home, we ate dinner and I called the owner. The mom was excited and came over to get the phone.  When she rang the doorbell she was so thankful.  I smiled and told her that my daughter found it. She gave her a $20.00 bill and told my daughter (who remember didn’t want to give the phone back) thank you and that her daughter had lost it at the park and she was so sad. My daughter smiled and said you are welcome.  We bid each other goodnight and I closed the door.

I said to her now see isn’t that nice you got some money for doing the right thing? I added now you may not always get money for doing the right thing because you should always try to do the right thing regardless of what you might or might not get.  She smiled. Now she is 8. Will she remember everything I said? Probably not. What she will remember is the feelings that she felt when she did the right thing and I believe this feeling will remain with her for the rest of her life.  As she gets older she will remember this feeling and will be able to go back, as I have done countless times, to what I feel inside. To go back to the running theme in my life, a theme that I didn’t incorporate into who Yolande was for years, this theme is to do what God says and not what I say. 

I pray for that insight with my children and wouldn’t it be nice if  in this time of me, me, me and fast money and fast love and infidelity and baby daddys and baby momma’s and a political system that is confused and a society based on the idea of crabs in a bucket – if someone could remember the feelings that come from the inside. The still small whisper that is felt in our guts that tells us something is right and something is wrong. That voice is HIS. Follow it and you will not be led astray. You will step up to the plate in your life and do the right thing because it is the right thing. You will behave in a manner that makes you feel good and not behave the way people want you to behave. That is peace. Doing what God says.

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

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