…because I said so

because I said so

What happened to those famous 4 words in the phraseology of the modern-day mom and dad.  It worked fine for me as a child. What they meant was that the discussion was over.  My parents were finished talking and the decision has been made and acted upon.  It meant that I was to  stop talking and if at all possible slide over to the other side of the cars backseat, go to another room, finish eating my dinner, lunch, snack,  pick up the mess that spilled on the floor even if your little sister spilled it and finally it meant that my time on earth may be drawing nigh.  My brothers, sister and all of the kids our ages knew that when these 4 words were spoken by any adult that the adult was fed up and was most likely tired. Fed up and tired usually go together in a sentence especially when we as children back then, made our old 30 something parents fed up and tired. Oh to go back to a more peaceful time, where children minded their manners, did well in school, had no interest in carrying a phone around and looking at it every few seconds, ear bud hanging out of their ears, pants that sag and tank tops with little top and never woulda’ thought of piercing their navels.  And the most important thing that was not said however in  our family was always practiced and that is that children should be seen and not HEARD.  Yep quiet, no phones, no bills to pay and no reason to talk at all.

At almost 50,   Yolande is ready to retire at 55 and I am writing to make sure that when the agent comes, I will deliver.

Back to the children and you. I am forced  to listen to a lot of whining and crying and back talk from the children while their parents who are grown women and men insist on taking them to public places, I guess to share in the humiliation. These bundles of joy will act a complete fool the minute you are in places, in crowds, in churches and in libraries.  A whole lot of negotiating and discussion and what do you think and how do you feel and if you do this then I’ll do that – come on please parents where has the spine gone in your back? This is the problem that we have with our babies.  It begins early. I have seen babies slap their parents, yell at their parents, tell them they hate them, run from them, hide from them, ignore them, curse at their parents and just flat-out LIE to their parents and what do these grown folk/parents do? They  make excuses, blame the other child, the other parent, the teacher, the co-worker, the person who was waiting patiently in line when their sweet child who would never do anything wrong cut in front of them while you were clearly standing there, the parents that people paying the bills beg their child to not to use the cell phone, not to wear a particular clothing item, not to stay out late and not to leave the kitchen a mess – yes I said begging. 

 My belief is that we take so much time trying to explain to our children and the phrase “because I said so” is one of the most powerful ever spoken. Our God has given us the ability to hear his voice. Let’s imagine  a  world where children hear these words again…..because I said so, again…because I said so…and again because I said so.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

 ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

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I’m Not Tired Yet

My favorite day Sunday has come and gone. The topic that pastor spoke on was I’m Not Tired Yet. At the time when I was sitting in the pew I had no idea how much this message would stay with me.  The guest pastor who spoke impressed upon me the need to realize that there are going to be times when we will get tired. In 2 Cor 4:16 we read that we can be outwardly tired and yet inwardly renewed. This means that to me that there are going to times where the body gets tired and we have to rest so that we can keep the internal fire burning inside of us.  He talked about Elijah and how after his defeat on Mt. Carmel he allowed one woman, Jezebel to speak a word to him that caused him to run into the desert in fear.  Here we see that God sends an angel, encourages Elijah to sleep and wakes him up twice to feed him. He slept, was fed and renewed to continue again. 

As I was driving home from the office today, I realized that my eyes were heavy and I was tired. I had been reminded by my girlfriend that I needed to take a nap.  I was irritable, a little snippy, and hyper all day today. My brain is firing on all levels of accomplishment and multi-tasking to the hilt.  I realize that in order for me to continue to get through the next few weeks I need to revitalize and re-energize myself.  I am going to be 50 on August 10 and I plan to enjoy that day and the party that I am having with my girlfriend with renewed vigor and a whole lot of dancing.  I have missed my blogging,  I have missed my time alone with my keyboard and I still miss my uncle. The pain is still there and his image stays with me throughout the day.  I guess this is the way I manifest my grief. At his grave side I fainted and became immediately aware of the exhaustion.  I however could not wallow in that grief because I have 3 children to raise. And that is where I am right now – just bone tired and mentally strained. I will retire at 55 and be able to write for a living which really is my passion. It lights my fire and keeps me moving.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

 ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

A Visitors Point of View

 I spent the last several days with my sister and my three fabulous children in Paso Robles, California.  A 3 and a half hour drive from Tracy and in those three and a half hours the California I knew and could relate to was to be no more. I am speaking strictly as a first time visitor. The California Mid-State Fair was the place I had purchased tickets to see Jeff Dunham and his puppets as a late birthday gift for my 15 year-old son. We had a blast driving down, got lost, the kids watched movies until they fell asleep as did my sister sitting next to me on the passenger side of the rent-a-car.  When I retire at 55 I want to drive around this state of California and get to know the people from a visitor’s point of view.

Driving to our destination, I began seeing signs on the freeway for I-5, L.A., Los Banos, Gilroy, 101 South, Gonzales, Atascadero and Paso Robles. I saw workers in fields picking whatever they were picking and  my mind’s eye began to imagine the history books I read in high school where slaves were picking cotton and the overseer was ever-present on his horse watching.  These workers skin was brown and their stature was small, they stood close together and worked with hats and bandana’s and tousled hair sweating and speaking their language of comfort. These were men determined to take care of their families and make a living at any cost. These are the same men who stand on street corners and in front of Home Depot and near Goodwill stores waiting for an American to drive by and offer a day job for a wage considerably less than the minimum wage.  As I continued to look as I drove I saw port-o-potties hitched to trucks so that the “staff” picking whatever they were picking can always have access to the facilities without leaving the fields. I saw small white buses that brought these brown men to this destination and waited to bring them back to their original destination. I saw pick up trucks with white men watching brown men and  me a black woman drives by.  As I drove the landscape was beautiful. The greens and the browns and the hills and the sun – all painted a canvas that comforted me and let me know in all that we see God is.

Paso Robles reminded me of days gone by.  A place where the housekeeping staff understands little English, the kitchen worker is brown, the restaurant bus boy is brown as is the cook, the dishwasher, the maintenance workers at the California Mid-State Fair were all brown and yet the girl ringing up your order is white, the manager at the restaurant is white, the waitress is white, the people with the 2-way radio’s at the California Mid-State Fair who were guides to help you around were white, the ticket collectors were either white or black and the people checking your bags were white. The people running all of the vendor booths were white and black. The young people running the rides were a mixture of black and white. Paso Robles is a place similar to my hometown in that everyone has their place and all are aware of it. No one steps over into an area where they are not expected to be and everyone appears ok with it except those who come from another city or state or county. We, outsiders/visitors see differences and our eyes speak in wide-eyed amazement at the imaginary yet clearly imbedded and defined lines of demarcation of color.  As I looked at these colored people I smiled.  The only difference that this visitor saw was in color for it was not in class. The town seemed to be equally challenged in terms of housing and jobs and living conditions. This is a place where sidewalks may or may not exist and where pig races and mutton bustin’ are just as acceptable as lines of demarcation.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

 ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

Boundary

Tonight I went to my women on mission bible group and as always I enjoyed being in the presence of like-minded women. We talked about 2 Timothy 3:16, 17 where Timothy says that all scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training.  God’s breath, God’s word is the boundary. What popped into my mind as I was listening to the ladies explain their experiences; with this passage, was that God’s boundary is similar to an enclosure that protects us from the outside and keeps us safe on the inside. When babies are born they are swaddled in a blanket that is extremely tight-fitting. This blanket is so tight that the infant can not move. They look like a chrysalis. Encased, secure and alive. The infant is comfortable.  The infant is placed in a crib – a boundary. From there she is moved into a playpen with a little bigger area to move about and still safe. The child then joins preschool where she can play; however, in a yard that is fenced off from the elementary school children – safe. In elementary school the yard for recess is bigger yet still fenced and encased ad secure and safe. From here the high school child can be in a school without a fence that does not keep them in one area but a fence that is around the perimeter of the school. The boundary has expanded. Here we have an invisible boundary.  This speaks to our childrens ability to know that they are supposed to stay in school. They can roam from class to class and back forth between different rooms and buildings; however, where they are to remain for 8 hours is on the campus. Once they graduate from high school they are promoted to colleges and universities with no boundaries. They are allowed to come and go as they like; here they must have incorporated all of the earlier boundaries/fences to be able to navigate this time and space appropriately. So too with the bible, the words, the doctrine are our limits. The Bible’s words are meant to protect you and if we know what the words are saying we are much more likely to stay within the invisible walls of morality.
 
Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

 

Yesterday was Sunday

I wanted to write so bad yesterday about my Sunday however I did not, so here it is.  I have been having a lot of neck and shoulder pain last week.  It was such a tightness that I could not turn my head on the right side for 2 days and then after that it moved to the left side and then I called to make an appointment to see a doctor and he told me that my muscles were so tight and this caused the pain. He prescribed a muscle relaxant.  I came home early on Friday, took my medicine and went to sleep. I slept on and off all day and into the evening. When I awoke on Saturday the pain had subsided, still there, however not as bad. I had a lot to do that day and just kind of went through the day.  I was excited about going to service on Sunday. I knew that I would get a word. I needed it and I got it.

The pain in my shoulder was stress. My body reacts to emotional stress by carrying it in my shoulders. The weight of the world if you will.

On Sunday the pastor read Deuteronomy 6: 1-9.  The verses that touched me are “5Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates. ‘

This is about the giving of the ten commandments and how important these commandments are to our every day living.  We have to live them, say them, teach them to our children and write them on the doors of our houses and allow these commandments to be like the air that we breathe without which you cannot live. What it said to me is that I need to do just this.  I will incorporate them into the lives of my children and those I come into contact with. I am going to pray when someone asks for prayer – right then and I am going to memorize the commandments and make them a part of my life.

 Deutoronemy 5: 32-33  32 So be careful to do what the LORD your God has commanded you; do not turn aside to the right or to the left. 33 Walk in all the way that the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.

Sunday morning my middle son scrambled eggs and he was proud of himself.  He said to me “I got this mom!”.  And he did “got this!”  I know that God is and will continue to supply all of our needs.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

Men/Boys/Women/Girls

You can go to any public place, any private place and just any place and you will see groups of people who appeared to have lost all respect for themselves and for you.  I see grown men who want to be boys and boys who want to be grown men.  Girls who want to be women and women who want to be girls.  This group is interesting and sad and pitiful and weak and without purpose and without vision for long-term gratification. Everything is right now and yesterday.  I want to retire at 55 and I write about things that touch my soul.  I have 2 boys and 1 girl. Children that I believe will succeed in life.  I know that with constant awareness of who they surround themselves with at least for now – they are off to a good start.

What I have to fight against are the images that they are bombarded with daily. Not only on television, on the internet also at the grocery store, the park and even church. I see grown women with low-cut t-shirts where their breasts seem to be screaming help me, help me somebody I can’t breathe. These same women have on too short shorts, too tight jeans, holes in their jeans, tattoos on their breasts, on their back, on their shoulder, on the sides of their necks, on their ankles, on their fingers and on their wrists, holes in every place on the face that can be pierced – lip, nose, eyebrow and of course the tongue and these are soomebodies’ mothers. These same women want to impart some kind of modesty to their daughters and all I can say is puhleaze! Their daughters want so badly to be like their mothers that these little girls are dressed even more provocatively. They decorate their hair with pink, blue, green and orange braids, they talk loud and often in public and on their cell phones and texting is non-stop, their tattoos are on the lower part of their back right near their butt and they will allow the “hit” with the slightest inkling that the boy can give them something right now. Their logic is that at least they will get some boy to look at them with the same googly eyes as the men look at their mother. These boys look with mouth open, lips dripping and drooling and wanting to just “hit” it.  Our little boys walk around with sagging jeans, oversized t-shirts, do-rags, baseball caps with their brims turned to the side or turned to the back, cell phone ringing and a whole lot of bling either on their hands or in their mouths, no concept of a tomorrow; all living for today.  Their fathers are either in jail, not living with their mother or dead. The fathers that are left look just like the sons. Fathers with hats to the side, sagging jeans, oversized t-shirts, bling on their hands and in their mouths and no jobs, on assistance, selling drugs, living off some woman, on unemployment and just hanging around the corners with the little boys who idolize them.  These little boys see these grown men of all that they can be and that is nothing. Nothing of any consequence to themselves and certainly to society. They show this failure to grow by actions and inaction. We have little boys carrying guns and knives and talking a whole lot about the day they ‘hit it’ and then talk about when they make it big. Everyone is a rapper and a fast talker – nothing is slow and worthwhile it is all rich and right now and in this writers opinion – worthless.

It is all about sex. Sex, sex and more sex.  And at the end of the day it appears to me that our society really doesn’t care.  How do we expect children to grow into mature and responsible adults when the adults aren’t even adults? I see what I see and I don’t like it. 

 Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

Sunday

My favorite day is Sunday and when I retire at 55 it will still be my favorite day.  I get up in anticipation of  looking on the faces and hugging on the necks of my church family. A family that I have come to believe is just like a real family. Many family members mean well and yet their own individual preferences and prejudices get in the way. What I mean by that is that church families have to learn how to disagree in an agreeable fashion. Now this is something that I can do in a work environment and that ability to maintain some distance transforms to the church family.  I can do it in the church family circle because I make a concerted effort to keep Yolande’s opinions to herself.  Now, sometimes that is so hard for me to do. At the times when I want to explode and tell them (who is them?) how I think this or that should be done and what time are we going up there to sing and over and over I just close my mouth and say my line “I heard that girl, it’s no sweat off of my back, I am here to praise the Lord” and immediately those who I am listening to begin to slow it down and talk lower and less about whatever there concern and often times there opinion may be. I hug them if the time and opportunity presents itself and then I, the writer, go and sit down in the pew with my daughter. My sons sit in the back of the church with all of the other children of the church.  I feel better. I have my church home, my children, my pastor and I got up this morning. I also have my real family. We need them all and we respect them more.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial 

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”