Fear

This morning I woke up and listened to Joyce Meyer followed by Creflo Dollar.  What I remember came from Creflo. What he said about fear made me stop walking around and stare at the television set. I then immediately ran around looking for a pen to write his words down. He said, “You cannot continue to pour fear into people and call it news!” I was clapping in my room all by myself. He than added that if you were to close the media down for 6 months, meaning no “news” reported  – it would change the direction that we as community and country are headed in. I believe that we as the adults should take a hard look on what we are allowing to enter into our eyes, our ears and our brains. It reminds me of being brainwashed.  We know that it works.  We see the aftermath when the police question a person who they think committed a crime for hours and hours and hours. The person is then allowed to leave after he has signed a confession and explained what happened and who was involved.   We see it when we tell our children that they are smart and can do anything and these children begin to manifest their own inner ability to solve, to correct and to study.

Creflo believes that if the media would report the good that happens daily and celebrate the joys of life we would see a change in everyone’s attitude and I think in the economy.

http://store.creflodollarministries.org/p-8231-living-fear-free.aspx

Lately I have had to make some decisions that are uncomfortable and the fear is that I may be throwing away something, or not able to complete something and yet what I know deep down on the inside is that this is fear – false evidence appearing real – and just like that it will pass.  And when it does, I will come out on the other side knowing that this has passed and I have grown again and again.  This process repeats itself.  Only when we as a society; as a people, stand up and say we are not going to take this anymore will it change. Retiring at 55.  Alright now.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://yolandebarial.w://ordpress.com/

http//www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

Grace

Sunday my favorite day.  I woke up this morning excited.  The kids and I had a great weekend, Saturday was fun and productive for all of us. The kids played with their friends throughout the day and I was able to hang out with my aunt and sister in the evening. The children play because that is the way they hang out, adults generally play by going somewhere. We went to the 1rst anniversary of a restaurant in Martinez owned by my coworker and her sister – Lemongrass Bistro (www.lemongrass-bistro.com) the food is divine.  This was the first time that my sister and aunt have ever gone anywhere to just hang out! It never dawned on me until today.  We ate, we laughed, we watched a hair show. we ate some more and we drank, introductions and hugs all around and plenty of congratulations for my friend and her family for beginning a venture in this economic time when it is not supposed to be possible! The food is good, the ambiance is welcoming and did I say the food is good?

The women’s choir sang at church today, of which I am a part. We sang 2 songs. It was pretty awesome feeling to be able to hear that we really didn’t sound that bad.  Practices have been rather uncomfortable because those of us that don’t sing in the choir always don’t exactly have the best voices however we come together because we hear the still inside voice say ‘ sing in the women’s choir’ so we do.  The female minister who gave the message this morning  and her topic was ‘All God Wants is Yes”.  The title alone has to tell you what is coming.  In all things give him the praise. Whatever he asks us to do we should do it with no questions asked. We shouldn’t stay around waiting to make sure that this is really you Lord telling me what to do.  We should act trusting that whatever direction you go in is the direction that you should be going. The first commandment is Thou Shalt Not Have Any Other Gods Before Me. The minister spoke and said that we can change the word ‘God’ to the television, video games, work, people, friends, a drug , gossiping and whatever else you can think of that permits from you from doing the very first thing and that is to give him total and complete trust knowing that if He can bring the Israelites out; albeit it took 40 years because they didn’t do the first commandment so how could they manage to do anything else but go round and round and round the same hills and valleys – they did this until all of the original folks who were moaning and complaining died in the wilderness – then God blessed them.

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Rev-Ed-Bacon-with-a-Teachable-Moment-on-Grace-Video

There is a grace to be able to ride the waves of life. There are ups and downs and a whole of of OMG’s! Life can be tough. The grace that I want and really would want for anyone is the grace to be able to grow up and watch your children move in a direction that is much clearer, much more thought-provoking and become people of character  – that is what I want to live for.  I will retire at 55 because I will then be able to be with my children in a way that I now am unable to do. There is a grace for getting old because age should  allow you to be wise. If you begin to act on the still inside voice. Now when I heard this  some years ago my little 20 something-miss-know-it-all-drinking-too-much Yolande – I was like please. Grow old and become wiser HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? As a living witness to the fact that all things really are possible and that age allows you the possibility to correct past hurts, rekindle warm memories, bond with those who through time and kids and work had been impossible, to reminisce about those lost and are less fortunate than you;  it allows you to be able change and be reborn. The rebirth, the change is like a fire that is lit deep inside the upper middle part of your stomach. I get butterflies, I get warm – sometimes those really are  hot flashes however I go with it because in the heat god speaks to me.  This fire is in fact seen by others. Those who have not YET had their aha experience may think the older woman is slow. What people fail to realize is that concentrated and well thought out decisions sometimes take time.  Some times these ideas need to be marinated and turned over and over in the marinade until it is fully coated with the delicious juices and then when cooked under the heat – come out a little crispy however that is the burned juice/sauce and we all know that tastes better.  I was so touched by the words this minister spoke – we go through so much of our lives worried about one thing or another and feeling sad because we are not where we thought we would be in 2010. I no longer fear because I know that God has given me a special grace to raise 3 pretty doggone good children who with every day grow taller and get more handsome and cute. The grace God gives me to be a constant force for creativity and possibility in my children’s lives makes me feel good, it causes a smile to come on my face. Sunday is the day that the Lord made for us to rest. I always welcome Sundays because I enjoy the presence of others who worship and yet realize that we are all but a whisper away from not being here tomorrow. The grace that God gives his children daily is something to shout about and something to cry about and something to be extremely thankful about. Not everyone that went to sleep last night got up and tomorrow will be the same – that those who sleep tonight will not wake up on Tuesday. I wake up praising the Lord, I wake up thanking him for my children and for my home and for my health. I wake up kissing them on their ears, on their foreheads, rubbing their backs or their legs – I tell them every morning I love them.  The grace we have should be shared and I think that makes everyone’s day go a a little better.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial ttp://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/ ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers.

Open Doors

I woke up this morning a little tired. I had spent the night writing thank you cards and feeling good with who I have become.  I heard Joyce Meyer’s voice as soon as I turned on the television and she was talking about how we have to learn how to just be quiet and be still and learn that God does have a blessing for us; however we need to get out of his way.  It reminded me of when I went out on a date and the poor guy was doing his best to open the door for me and I was so busy being me that I always made it to the door first and opened it.  As the night went on we were talking about what we wanted our partner to do and he had a must-do-this-to-keep-me-list and I had the same.  One of  mine was that I like it when a guy opens the door for me.  He said well you c ould hardly tell  it, every time I tried to open the door you reached out and grabbed it first so how can I open the door? We laughed about it and I realized that he was right. So like the doors being opened for me, I have to get out of God’s way and let him open doors for me to walk through.

http://www.oprah.com/oprahdotcom/Your-Best-Life-Is-Waiting

This morning my children were being children.  My oldest had Justin Timberlake blaring downstairs, my middle son was leaning over a t.v. tray as usual eating a bowl of cereal, my youngest was still laying on her bed with her butt in the air, her arms curled underneath her chest, her head directly into the pillow without any covers over her and telling me she is cold. I can hear Creflo Dollar’s voice coming out of the t.v. in my room – I want to go back there and you and I both know I could not. After the little diva stretched herself awake she ambles downstairs looks in a pantry full of food and then opens the refrigerator full of food announces to me that there is nothing to eat.

I can’t tell you why exactly I did this – I just exploded.  I went on to tell all 3 of them the chores that I have been expecting them to do and they have not done them, I told them that I had  $500.00 PG&E bill, a closet door (daughters) that needs to be re-hung again and I asked their father, who is a handyman, to come out to the house and fix it – he said he would think about it – that was last week Thursday maybe, as of this typing I have heard nothing from him – yep he is my ex, a back screen door that has come off the tracks again and has to be repaired, each one of them is in a sport that costs money and then I told them how much I loved them however I need them to pull their fair share. They each ride their bikes to and from school, they get along with each other, they are kind children and for these things I am proud of them; however this getting up in the morning without having done what you are supposed to do is over. I told them that they are to begin taking lunches and that they cannot eat all of the snacks in the house for their lunch – they need to have sandwiches, fruit and water and since I am the only one working in this house I am the law ’round these parts and they are going to have to follow my rules. I have to reiterate to them at least once a week that I expect to be treated in a manner that is respectful and that I have been taking up some of their slack  and that is no more.  If I expect my man to open doors for me then my children should do the same.  I supply all of their needs, their wants, their must-have-for-school, their shelter, their free time, their parties, their food, their clothing and their time to just relax and chill and for that the least they could do is to open the doors for me in the way children can and that is to be good children, do their homework and do their chores and of course pledge undying love for me and whenever possible bring me a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream.  Well  they agreed (I didn’t even have to look at them, I could hear their eyes rolling). They are used to this crazy woman who periodically decides NOW IS THE LECTURE! They sit quietly. My oldest looks at me in the eyes and the other two look everywhere but at my face. Retiring at 55 is only 5 years away.  I have to put my action plan into place.  I love my children however they can definitely work your nerves and I suspect I work theirs. 

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

Wearing Death

My sister called me today and asked me why I had not been blogging because she needed something interesting to read. She is an insatiable reader of everything and nothing, she knows a little bit about everything and can tell you what is going on in any part of the world at any given time.  She soaks up knowledge, so here you go my sister.

There are so many things on my mind. The past few weeks I have had a whirlwind of activity at work and at home.  As I sit in traffic every day sometimes alone, sometimes with a carpooler my mind soaks up everything I see.  As I drive I have flashes of ideas that keep streaming into my mind and I absorb thoughts and I write words on post-it notes to remind me of what I was thinking about at that time, so that will remember to blog about or talk about or in some way capture the thought so it will stay with me and then I can process it later.  At the end of the day I look into my purse for my precious notes – they are all there, crumpled up yellow post-it notes – each with something to say to me.

What is the deal with the Skull and crossbones images? I looked up skull and crossbones, my abbreviation for this will be (SCB) in Wikipedia and it says:  Skull and crossbones is a symbol consisting of a human skull and two long bones crossed together under the skull. It is used in several contexts:

I see them on the back windows of trucks and cars, on clothing of adults both male and female, on the back of the leather jackets of the motorcycle rider and even on their helmets, on bandana’s, scarfs and tattooed on the skin.  I have seen the image before as you have, at Halloween. Now not only is the SCB image on adult clothing it is now adorning the clothing of our children! Yes, you have seen it on children’s t-shirts, pajamas, gloves, earrings, bracelets, headbands, necklaces, wristbands, on backpacks and purses, on socks and on belts – I don’t like it.  My mind tells me that we are teaching our children that wearing death is just fine.  We are not only teaching this to our children and by our sheer lack of interest we tell our children that we really don’t care what they wear.  We give our children so much lip service and it really should come as no surprise to anyone that they go off course without proper guidelines and discipline to make sure they stay focused.

As I read the commentary about why children are attracted to the SCB because of its connection to pirates. And of course everyone knows children like pirates – right? SCB’s are the national symbol for poison. Poison – don’t touch, deadly, will kill you,not good for you at all. I would say that because we have overpopulated this image to the point where our children no longer fear it, that perhaps we should either a) stop or b) change the image of poisonous substances to something that children will know means danger – something like homework maybe? (smile) Children in today’s world really do not have a frame of reference for danger. Imagine what would happen if a young child were to see this SCB image on a container and not knowing that this symbol = poison and that could lead to death.

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Peer-Pressure-at-School

As adults we really do need to do better.  Children have no money we are the bank to them.  By allowing this image to be marketed to our youth, we are telling them that we really don’t care. We allow them to identify with an image that is poison in its symbolism and it teaches them to accept death and danger as a part of what life has to offer.  When I see it on our children I think they are wearing death. They are so desensitized that nothing really shocks or even scares our children. I think the least that we should do as parents is to clothe our children with love and make them take death off of their backs.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

 ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

Taming the Tongue

Sunday, my favorite day.  Hung by the tongue was the title of the sermon today.  It was so appropriate for me.  I spent the last several weeks enjoying the words that people have spoken over me and those words still make me smile.  At the same time I have had moments when the things that have been said to me that have hurt me have come up in my head and those words that made me cry then make me cry all over again.  The sting of the words followed by the action to cement the words into my being have never been forgotten. Over time I have been able to put the words in the proper perspective, I have compartmentalized the pain into a part of my memory allowed for past hurts. This past hurts area has gotten smaller and smaller as I have progressed into a more seasoned Yolande and that is a good thing.  The area is small because the words that sting are all similar. The words that hurt the most are words that come from a lover, a friend and even a coworker – and these words all say the same thing to me. The sting of the same feeling has allowed me to know that this is what I need to learn. This “this” that hurts me the most is the feeling of being dismissed. The dismissal has come in different forms however the feeling that it activates in me is the same.  It hurts the core of who I think I am to the person that speaks the words.  As lover and friend the dismissal comes when that person acts as if my loving or caring for them is not at all important and the words that are said are ones of not wanting to be around me and moving on and telling me that I am not what you desire or that I am not enough.  As coworker the words are condescending and that tone is one of not wanting to hear what I have to say about it, in other words my opinion really doesn’t matter.  These words and these actions hurt me all in one place. In my heart. The pain subsides and does get placed where it belongs in the past.

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/The-Power-of-Words

I have always known that the tongue is a two-edged sword and that our words should be weighed out before spoken. My words are generally spoken with a lot of emotion. If I care about you, the emotion is toned down so that the words will not be offensive. I really don’t want anyone to feel dismissed and I don’t want people to feel as if I think I am better than them. The tongue can start a fire that cannot be contained for a long time.  When a wildfire is finished burning it is put out by the fire department – it just doesn’t stop all by itself. The fire is fought by the firemen and this is what eventually puts the fire out. Our words can be put out however they are out there and they have burned/hurt someone.  The words/fire are gone; however the charred earth remains and to those who walk or drive by they will know that there has been a fire in this place. Like the tongue others will remember what was said and even though it is not the truth or not the exact truth they will still remember what was said and only through conscious contact with God will we be able to come out of this fire and not smell like smoke.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

 ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

Homework and the Parent

After having a whirlwind of a weekend filled with a lot of everything and a whole mess of partying this now 50-year-old had to touch down! And I did, yesterday, Tuesday, the realization came back to these aching feet from wearing pumps all night and dancing and hugging and kissing and flirting that I am a parent. Boo hoo, yep I am back.  Homework and three lovely children whooshed me back from Neverland and after working a full 8 hour day, sitting in traffic for about 3.5 hours to and from the office and coming home to 3 children each with something for me to sign, different color papers that had to be read and initialed and filled out and tales of how hard the 4th, the 6th and the 10th grade are already. As I listened and looked I surveyed the house – shoes in the living room,backpacks on the floor, empty water bottles and empty orange juice containers on the dining room table, pencils on the floor, clothes in the laundry basket in the middle of the floor in my oldest son’s rooms, Donny and Jimmy; our rabbits, are hungry and so are the fish – all 6 of these pets stare at me, my plants in the backyard need water, the carpet needs to be cleaned, are any bills due this week, my feet hurt, my daughter needs to brush her teeth, my middle son has grown taller since I left this morning, and wait just a minute is that a dirty sock over there in that corner????  My daughter’s whining brings me immediately back from this harried scene; she cannot find the word tablet in the dictionary and she is just about to get on my very last nerves! I breathe in and out, I explained to her again how to use the dictionary and started again with the question do you know your alphabets? I have to show and tell my daughter and I cannot do either until she stops whining and crying. Just the sound of that whine reminds me of the fingernail screeching down a blackboard – it makes my skin crawl.  After she stops screechingly whining, I begin again to explain how to find a word in the dictionary. I tell her to look at the top of the page at the word in bold. When the bold word is on the far left on the top of the page it indicates that this bold word is the first word on the left side of the column on that page. I then take my finger and point to the bold word and let her see it and then I show it to her. She says ok. I then tell her that the word to the left in bold of the word on the right in bold,  is found on the very bottom of that page in the right column. She says ok. I then tell her to begin with the first 3 letters and find those first 3 letters on the top right of the page in bold word and then from there look at the top left word in bold.  If the 4th letter in the word  in question; after the first 3 letters is found on that page the word is there somewhere. Use your finger and use it to scroll slowly down the page to find the word tablet. Voila! Huh now that I have totally confused my little girl – let the whining begin again.  After a few more of these over-explained explanations on how to use the dictionary – she gets it!!! By then, this now 50-year-old is wiped out, exhausted and tuckered. The whiner, a.k.a., my lovely daughter, completes the assignment about 30 minutes after her 9 p.m. bedtime.  She takes a bath and gets into the bed. I am wired and irritated and feeling a little whiney myself. I still had some bills to pay and yet I had to write which is what I did. I wrote last night and I write tonight. The bills aren’t due til the 21st. I will mail them out tomorrow. I had to write.

My middle son came home around 8:30 p.m. from soccer practice. He exclaimed that he grew taller since this morning and now he can stand eye-to-eye to me and then he looked me in the eye. I smiled, he is close.  I think he is right, he did grow. Hn eats a light dinner and then proclaims that he has about 3 different assignments that have to be done tonight. He is in his room.

My older son had weight training, came home and did his homework, he is now putting up the dishes and emptying the dining room table from all boxes, empty water and juice containers and any other scrap whatchamacallit that gets placed on the dining room table to take out to the garbage caontainer some time during the week or at least that is what I think the kids think they are supposed to do.

Homework is meant for children who already know what they are supposed to be doing, it is not meant for moms and dads who have been up since 5 ion the morning and have not stopped until she started writing this blog. Retiring at 55 is looking better and better. At the rate I am going, I suspect I will use the first 6 months of the 55th year just laying in the bed reading all of the Oprah, Essence, Time, Southern Living and books; too many to name, that I had not had the time to read while I was doing homework.

 Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

 ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

What a night!

Yolande Barial & Monica

My feet still hurt! My diva friend and I had one of the most memorable parties that any two 50-year-old diva’s could have ever expected. We laughed, we cried, we danced, we whooooohaawd and giggled, and squealed with excitement as people who we had not seen in years and people that came from out-of-state and people who we loved and liked and worked with and had disagreements in love with; came together and celebrated not only our 50th – I think the celebration was one of enjoying life. I heard from guests that they had never had so much fun, they had never felt such positive energy and that they enjoyed the food and the DJ was off the chains! I heard from others that they felt that the first drag show performer was good, the second one was too much and at least one couple left and the others stayed and understood that it was just a show and even though it wasn’t their cup of tea; it was alright. We had a poet perform, we had a pianist sing a song and we had a praise dance & a poem performed by yours truly and a tribute to those who made her who she is from my divafriend.  We had guests that ranged from 20 to 80 and straight to gay, guests that were a couple and guests that were single and most importantly, we had people who came to party and who for the most part had open minds and open hearts.  The assembly told us both that we were a lot alike. Our inner circle and even our outer circle consists of people who are positive.  I was so excited I didn’t even eat.  I wanted to make sure that I spoke with everyone that I had invited and those that my friend had invited. 

I had this same kind of feeling years ago when I had my very first show at Starbucks. The place was packed, the air of anticipation was in the room and the people were positive. It was a good feeling then and it is definitely a feeling that is still a good thing. Life is meant to be enjoyed and to be honored and celebrated. We threw ourselves a birthday party and close to 150 people showed up!!! They showed up with anticipation, with gifts and with cards and with love in their hearts. It was a party that was no cost to them and we fed them and gave them a show.  We were happy to say thank you to them in this way for all of the years that they have fed into our lives. I am looking forward to retire at 55. There is no better way to begin 50 than this and I know God will provide.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

 ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”