12 years old

A few months ago my son announced that he was in puberty.  All I said was ok.  A few weeks later he announced that he was in more puberty because his chest was getting bigger. I said ok. He then told me some weeks ago that he now really was in puberty because he had a zit. I said ok.  As I was walking near his room, I saw him standing looking at himself in the mirror and he was blowing himself a kiss.  I smiled on the inside.  He really is cute.  I then said in the mommy tone of voice that he loves (smile) what are you doing sweetie? And he kind of smiled and said nothing. I said ok.

Our children are indeed so precious to us, each one has their own unique voice, their own way of expressing themselves and this my middle son – is just that – unique. He has grown from a shy little boy to a shy yet confident almost teenager.  He recognizes who he is, he does not try to imitate his brother or his cousins or his friends.  He walks into a room and is always watching to see what is going on before he expresses himself. My older son has boundless energy and an explosively welcoming presence, my middle son reminds you of a cool breeze blowing through the trees on a warm sunny day. You feel it, it is nice and cooling and comforting yet you don’t see the breeze you feel  it.  He is my touchstone to reality. He reminds me of things I have said and things  I should not be doing.  People who meet him say that he reminds them of an older man and I agree. He is wise.

I am giving him and his sister a birthday party next weekend.  I asked him if he had invited any of his soccer teammates or his classmates and he said no.  I said why honey and he remarked that he just wanted to be with his family. My friends are my children’s auntie’s, uncles, godparents and even though not blood relatives, my children see these friends as family and the blood family is family. We are extensive and expansive.  I said ok. I smiled because that is exactly how I feel. I would rather be with  my family/friends any day for any reason. There is something to hanging out with people who really know you and like you anyway that cannot be replaced. At 12 he understands, he is comfortable enough to articulate it and for that I am proud.

As we get older we need to remember that our children are also growing older. We have to meet them where they are in terms of expressing their own uniqueness. We should laugh with them, play with them, tease them, read with them, listen to them, discpline them, eat meals with them, walk and talk and dance with them because it is so true that time flies extremely fast and before you know it they will be grown and gone. Retiring at 55 will allow me to enjoy what God has given me – 3 complete packages uniquely their own person. And let the church say – ok.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.




“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”


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