Child #2

 Last week all of the children and I were sick.  We had a 24-48 hour virus that Kaiser told me did not require a doctor visit.  I ambled to the store and I picked up some  Gatorade, juice, water and some snacks. Kaiser said to drink a lot of fluids and to get plenty of rest.  I was exhausted and all 4 of  us had to run to the bathroom all day from throwing up.  My middle son didn’t make it to the restroom and I was left to clean up after he had vomited in his bed.   He did not clean the sheets, he simply put the sheets in the garage near the washing machine.  I asked him if owed me something for cleaning up after him and he smiled.  My 12-year-old appears to be growing taller every minute. Oh well, after I gave him some more medicine, he promptly threw that up. I was cleaning up the first mess and had to come back upstairs to begin the clean up of this second mess.  While I was cleaning my son asked me what I was doing and I told him that I was cleaning his sheets before I put them in the washing machine.  He gave me a kiss. I asked him what was that for and he said because you are a good mom and added; not to many moms would clean up their kids throw up.  I smiled even more and continued my work. He went back in the house.  I smiled and thought what a good kid I have. Not to many kids would take the time to thank their mom for cleaning up after them.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

My Son

The game last night was awesome. They won the game and were up by about 8 points. It was a tough game and the boys played wonderfully. There are a group of moms that I like to sit with and last night we were like a group of 16-year-old teenaged cheerleaders. We clapped, we stomped, we screamed at the boys, we told them what to do, we clapped, we expressed outrage at the refs call under our breath so as not to penalize the boys, we rolled our eyes, we had opinions on coaching and on boys who probably shouldn’t try to do a lay-up, a three pointer or even defense because that was not their gift, we laughed and we laughed; the boys heard us and they were jazzed. My son played just about the entire game and he was like a gazelle running down the court.  I smiled. 

 The game tonight was even better.  They lost. It was a tough game.  My son played the entire game. The score was 63 – 60 until about 21 seconds in the 4th quarter and we fouled and they had a 2 shot.  It went in – game 65-60.  The boys again played awesome.  You could tell that they had decided to play their game regardless of the coaching.  They were like mini professional ballers.  The sistagirlmommie cheerleaders were on point.  We had a blast. When the game was over my son was talking about it; he was jazzed.  I told him he played a real good game and he smiled and said I proved to myself that I could do it and I proved to my girlfriends parents I can really play.  I just said that is good and smiled.  I love basketball seems to be his mantra.  He has thought on those words and they have become a part of him. I know that my son really has his mojo back and he knows it!  He is such a good teamplayer and an excellent point guard.  I am bias of course; he knows the other boys strengths and weaknesses and he is able to get the boys to maneuver and he knows who can shoot and who can just lay it up there.  He gives the ball away freely and has no court ego.

I was just proud of him.  The difference in the way he walked told me that he felt like the lion on the Serengeti who walks slowly deliberate and with purpose stalking his prey; quietly. My son is making this retirement thing look real good. 

 I know that I have raised some pretty awesome  children and they will be around for the rest of the best of my life helping me if necessary and taking care of me always.  They know I think they are the cat’s meow and that is a good thing.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Be Positive

I woke up this morning thinking my son loves basketball and basketball loves him.  At every spare moment in my thoughts I said this statement.  I asked that my son be given patience as thinking and speaking positive sometimes takes a while to manifest.  When I called him today from  the office, I asked him what was his mantra.  He said I love basketball and basketball loves me. He then added that I am a good player and the coach does not define me.

I smiled.  When he came home this evening from the game I asked him how was the game.  He said they lost by 10; however, he played the end of the 3rd and all of the 4th quarter.  He then added that he proved that he could do it if he played longer than 5 minutes and he helped to bring the team within the 10 points of the lead.  He was pumped.  He got his mojo back!!!! I smiled, gave him a kiss, and slowly put up one finger and pointed to his head and said I had no idea that that would happen so fast.  He just wanted to play and he did. He felt real good and I was mo’ better.  He was good because he visioned himself in love with the game that loves him. He drew the basketball to him and that is all I wanted to happen.  I want him to know that despite what others may think about you, you have to love you first. 

Thanks God.  He got it.  I did too.

Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

yokids3@sbcglobal.net

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Life Lesson

My mother used to say this hurts me more than it hurts you. She said this statement generally when she was spanking one of  us kids or punishing one of us.  At the time, like most children, I believed that this woman was full of  hooeeey, karazy, wacko, loopey and old.  This evening I learned what that statement can mean in the form of my oldest son.  I wasn’t spanking him or punishing him; however, I felt his pain.   The lesson being that life isn’t fair and still life goes on.  I saw my son shed a tear over not starting in the last two basketball games. I heard him explain why he thought he wasn’t starting and that was because he messed up in a tournament a few games ago when he was over excited because his girlfriends parents were in the stands and he was nervous.  Since then he says he has been trying to show the coach that this will never happen again and yet the coach doesn’t appear to get it that he is giving it his all.  He had one bad game and he feels the coach is not playing him because of that.  I don’t know if that is true or not.  As a parent I have my own opinions about this coaches coaching style.  I am not allowed to speak on it at the behest of my son.  I will not speak to the coach.  My son is used to starting and used to playing the entire game.   To be fair to the coach he has only not played my son for the entire game for 2 games and we are still not yet in the season.  This year he has a different coach with a new approach and he has to learn that sports is sports. 

  I want to call the coach and in my best non-defensive and justified mommie manner explain to him what a great boy my 15-year-old is and how responsible and how unlike all of the other boys on his team he is.  I want to tell the coach that he is pained when he has to sit on the bench and that he hurt my sons feelings tonight because of it. He scored when he was in the game and he  always assists other boys on the team to score. I want to tell the coach that my son is the leader of the team and all of the boys look up to him.  I want to tell the coach that my son is the one who gives all of the other boys pep talks.  I cannot say anything to the coach however I did talk to my son.

I told my son to not let anyone’s definition of him define his reality.  I told him that in The Secret you have to believe a thing and then you will attract the thing you believe.  I told him that what you love will love you.  I told him to not think about what you don’t like about the game and don’t like about the coach, but think only about the fact that you love basketball and basketball loves you.  I told him that life isn’t fair however that what you make of it when you continue to remain positive is much better than if you remain negative.  I told him that the minute you have negative thoughts you should shake your head and  shake those thoughts away and begin to think of the love and the good parts of your life.  I told him that it will not be easy and it will take time.  I told him that this is what I do when I am confronted with a life isn’t fair moment.  I shake my head, I cry and then I get back to the business of believing in myself again.  I told him to do as I suggest and I promised him the love of basketball will attract to him.  I believe it.  In The Power Rhonda Byrnes shares differing philosophical views and the common thread on all is that we must not even think about the negative because what we think we attract whether it is for the good or for the bad. So think on the positive and think on the love and positively love will surround you.  http://www.thesecret.tv/ 

I know that my life lessons can only show my son how to move through his life lessons and let him know that I am on his side.  I hurt when he hurts.  I hurt because as mother I cannot fix it.  I can only be the guide and the soft place where my children land. By 55 all that I love will manifest.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Hair

My daughter told my sister that she wanted to wear her hair down.  In the black community what that means is that you do not have to wear your hair in plaits or braids but simply curled or straightened and hanging down around your neck.  This is a symbol that you are growing up and that you are becoming a big girl.  This is a symbol of some responsibility for the one who wants to wear their hair down and it is also a symbol that you are now going into another dimension of girl-ness.  It is a step up and it is one that is met with a lot of oohs and aahs by family members who see the hair hanging down for the first time.

My sister approached me about my daughters hushed wish to wear her hair down.  My daughter knew that if she asked her aunt, my sister, to ask me there was a better chance that it would happen.  Smart little girl.  I was of course none too happy.  The reason is simple. What wearing her hair down to me means that not only am I going to have more work to do to comb and style her hair;  this one simple act of  her hair hanging down straightened or curled, is an outward symbol that my little girl recognizes that she is becoming a bigger little girl and that means that things are getting ready to change around this here house.

My sister was excited.  She reminded me about when we were younger and how we were allowed to wear our hair down by our mother on special occasions.  My sister, my daughters aunt,  said that she would wash her hair, condition it, put her under the hair dryer, curl it and style it.  She was more excited than I was.  For my sister this was  an experience that she would give my daughter, her niece, that will be one of the firsts that she is sharing with her niece that has nothing to do with me. 

My daughter was beautiful on Christmas morning.  Her hair reminded me of Shirley Temples all curly and bouncy.  I loved Shirley Temple movies as a litle girl I watched every move a million times. My daughter loved her hair and my sister was elated.  The first 9 years of my daughters life are behind her – and me.  Thanks my sister for the beginning of things to come.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

The day after

This is what I read when I opened up my yahoo page this evening http://omg.yahoo.com/news/hugh-hefner-84-engaged-to-playmate-24/53006?nc!

This is what is interesting the day after Christmas, this is what is news?  84 year old Hugh Hefner, is now engaged to a 24-year-old playmate, Crystal Harris, that heretofore he has lived with as his girlfriend and if I am not mistaken; as the playmate is a job, he is her employer?  Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture besides me?  I love a dirty old man just like any woman however I love them in the way I think a puppy is cute and the way that I see a baby boy looking at his mother endearing – they  make me smile and say awww.  That is about it! Nothing else.  I do not desire the puppy nor the baby, I do not want to sleep with the puppy nor the baby, I will not tongue kiss the puppy nor the baby, I do not think small bony fingers caressing my legs is a turn on and neither do I want very, very wrinkled parts touching my wrinkled parts just like I would not with the puppy nor the baby. Some things are just cute and some things are well … disgusting. In the real world I can just hear the blonde, fiancee hanging out with her other blonder friends giggling and saying “you know like eww he touched me, omg!”  However in this instance ‘man with money’ makes eww become oohhh.  What can a child born in 1987 have in common with a man born in 1927?  I may be off a year one or the other however the difference is still about 60 years.  Does anyone but me see anything wrong with this picture??

 I think being a father is honorable, being a grandfather is honorable and being a great-grandfather is honorable – being a great-grandfather who marries a child is dishonorable.   The more money, the more the male can buy.  And in all of the reality shows that are currently on television: The Baskeball Wives, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, New York, Beverly Hills, DC, Orange County and New Jersey all tell us the male with money only chooses to marry the female with body. That is what is wrong with the picture the fact that our children are barraged with these kind of images about each gender that tells both genders that men with a lot of money marry women with a lot of body. Brains re involved yet hidden by women with body to make sure that some of that money comes to them through their body.  The older the man the more he knows that money is the draw however I believe as a society we should be absolutely ashamed of ourselves.  We walk around on tippy toes around immorality and then to make matters worse we repeat it, we print it, we Facebook it, we tweet it and we report it over and over and over until the reality of the situation reported is removed and this state of  fantasy begins to become real and the more we report it the more real it becomes.  The less disgusting, the more moral the immoral becomes and our children watch us.  Children do as they see and not what we say.  Our children’s views of the future are quite frankly a little bleak.  This is just one example of the many images that they see daily that let them know that we see women as objects to be purchased and tossed aside when the next younger body comes along.  As the adults we have lowered the bar so much for our girls that it really matters not what we tell them.  Our society shows them that one day after Christmas that it is perfectly fine for an 84-year-old man to marry a 24-year old woman. My idea of marriage is where two become one.  Where shared vision and the ability to grow older and wiser together is treasured. Oh well, who am I? As I move into the year of my own retirement at 55  I am constantly amazed by the things we report as news. Hopefully things will change. Merry day after Christmas. 

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Sunday

Sunday is my favorite day.  I wake up anticipating the words that I will hear as I attend service. Today I woke up in anticipation which became irritation.  I overslept and I was tired.  I wanted to listen to Charles Stanley but I could not.  Because I had overslept that meant no one bothered to get up. No one ate breakfast or brushed their teeth, made up their bed or even decided what they were going to wear to church.  What that means is that I was irritated. My kids knew it and I knew it; however I had to push through it and make sure that they were all ready to go, as was I.  Today was the church play and the children were going to act out the play and read their poems.  This play and the read was unorganized during rehearsals.  Children didn’t listen, giggled, told jokes, texted, look at the phone over and over again, talked loud, chased each other and generally didn’t pay any attention to what was expected of them. Having worked with these youth I know that when called upon to perform, they will perform.  Something about the mic and being on stage that brings out the actor in them all.  However anything that requires them to sit, not to touch the drums, not to touch the piano, the organ, the sound system or  stop jumping, well that is a challenge.  They just don’t seem to be able to refrain from behaving like children who realize that they are in the room with adults.  This type of excitement immediately gave me a headache.  It took me out of my comfort zone, it removed me from the place of peace that I so enjoy on a Sunday.

The play went and came and the kids did quite well.  However, I was exhausted. I immediately came home, ate a big bowl of spaghetti and climbed into my bed. I wrote.  I will have another Sunday morning in a few days and I expect the same kind of anticipation next Saturday.  I so love going to service.  I realized that retiring at 55 I have learned what I will and will not do. I will assist, I will support and I will work with the children. At this stage of the game, I don’t think I have the where-with-all to lead these children – at least not yet.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”