Sunday – OMG

Sunday is my favorite day and as usual it did not disappoint.I woke up fully refreshed, energized, well-loved and in love.  I spent the day before with my children and my church family at Soda Springs.  The drive was peaceful, conversation was great, children were skiing, snow boarding and tubing.  The air was crisp,cold and the sun was shining. The white snow glistened and goggles and sunglassed people darted the landscape and made me smile.  As I looked out onto the activity of life and energy I whisper over and over the three words that bring me peace “thank you Lord”. I find I say this when there is nothing to say and when there is much to say. I say these three words as a way to honor God who has provided for me and for my children.  I say these words as a reminder to myself that I am blessed and that HE carries me in the wind.  His Spirit lulls me to sleep and wakes me up and allows me to enjoy my children and this life that we have.  Thank you Lord is my phrase, it is my mantra, it is how I continue to walk my walk as I talk the talk.  I want to be a living example to my children, friends and family that the statement that I say is nothing but the truth.  That statement is that if you take care of your children, God will take care of you.  I not only believe it to be true I have seen that truth manifested in my life and in the lives of my children.  I have been given a chance to make their lives better and I continue to work to make that happen.  I have also been given a chance to write and another opportunity to have yet another secret desire of my heart fulfilled and omnipresent in my life. To know love is a beautiful thing, to feel loved is another beautiful thing, to have love is incredible. One man can do that for me. Dipped in chocolate makes anything taste better and as far as I am concerned dark chocolate is not only good to the taste it is also healthier and more nutritious to the inside of a body as well.

I spent Sunday in this mood of peace and comfortably that I have not known for some time.  I woke up excited. Once at church the messages were about children and what we as parents and in particular black parents should be doing, things to remember and things to teach our children so they will be able to not only just survive but to thrive. Our children need to know that God is the beginning and the end and the be all to our all. Today I heard that my little friend of 12 is back in the hospital for another round of chemotherapy. I learned that her mom needs money to help with finances, I called her and offered to pay one of her bills until she could get back on her feet.  She was hesitant, I insisted. She was thankful. I smiled.  During service today the word Grace continued to come up in my heart and the words of the song by the Winans soothed me, rocked me and made me say thank you Lord. The speakers who spoke and the minister who preached all spoke about the witness that we are called to be as a present force in these troubled times. We are to be an example of what good parenting and what a good person should be and we need to walk our talk.  I lounged around today with my children and with my sweetie. To be in a house filled with complete satisfaction is such a good thing.  Incredible.  Tonight I learned that a friend that I have not heard from in years and whose name I just spoke a few days ago as I was recounting a story about my experiences with her – out of the blue – died.  I was shocked.  I breathed hard, I wanted to cry. I could not.  I don’t know the details. I know she was loved by her boys, her husband and her parents. 

We are called to be a witness. We are called to honor Him who provides all. We are called to not take anything for granted. What would happen to those left, should I or anyone pass away from this earth unexpectedly quite frankly is not known by the person leaving. We can all say the words that we should be grateful and thankful and tell the people in our lives we love them.  I do that.  However would that be enough for them should something happen? I don’t know. I write these words because we really don’t know.  People come and go, as the dust blows across the Sahara dessert, our time on this earth blows away.  My time and my heart will continue to say, “thank you Lord!” I thank your for three great kids, for a man who has come back to rock my soul as well as my intellect and who completes me, for a sister that is in full bloom and doing good things, for a mom who loves with all she has and whom I love and respect, for brothers who care and commit, for diva’s who take my breath away and carry my heart, for aunts and uncles and cousins that sustain and uplift, for countless friends who love me for me and for a God who has ALWAYS provided. Will these words be enough for my children to help them continue to thrive? I don’t know.  What I do know is that one of the lessons my father said to me before he died has never left me and I hear him in my head. He said to me when I was complaining about what everybody wanted me to do in a particular situation, he said well baby girl, just listen to what they have to say/suggest, acknowledge them, shake your head say that sounds good and you will think about it, be gracious and then go out and do whatever you were going to do anyway. Wise words disguised as just a thought. Mmmmm. TheIr really is no need to belabor the point. To this day, I do this when a situation comes up that I don’t agree with. I do this and respect your right to express and welcome honesty and critique with a soft edge on it when it is spoken – to me.   I listen, I smile, I thank and then I make MY decision in my way and in my time. I say this to say for my children, I want them to say, thank you Lord.” I want them and him to know that in these 3 words we live. In these three words we thrive. In these 3 words we glorify and carrying these words into any battle will be the weapons you need to tear down your walls of Jericho.  Thank you Lord. Remember, I love you is also a pretty powerful trio of words. Mmmmm. Let the church say I love you more. (smile)  Goodnight.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Teresa LeYung Ryan – Writing Career Coach

In January 2010, Teresa LeYung Ryan drove over an hour from her home in Oakland to my home to make me write daily.  She walked into my home and immediately began discussing feng shui and what was needed to ensure that all of the good thoughts remain in my home.  She then sat down with her laptop and all of her goodies that she travels with and walked me through the process of building my own WordPress site and becoming a Red Room author.  I have been a life learner and this was something to add to my portfolio of things that I must conquer.  I am a writer and a poet and am motivated to continue to grow until the day the Lord closes my eyes.  I want to be an example to my children of the possibilities of a dream coming into fruition during your lifetime.  I sat and listened as she explained what is a tag and how to incorporate them into your blogging.  She also gifted me with her workbook Build Your Name, Beat the Game: Be Happily Published a 22-day playbook. This workbook turned out to be the turning point in my life for writing.  In 22 days I got it and I have continually worked to my advantage.  January 2010, I goggled my name yolande barial and I had about 500 something results; as of today when I google my name I have about 5340 results.  In January 2010 I stated that I would be published in the Tracy Press. January 28, 2011, I was published in the Tracy Press.    http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial  

 

   I believe that if you write it will come to pass. I believe that without Teresa I would not have even begun the experience of the internet and knowing what is the capabilities.   Thank you Teresa. 

 

I say get this book  if you are serious about working to become a better you.  Teresa can be found at http://writingcoachteresa.com

Thank you Teresa!! Woo hoo!!

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

  http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Parental Responsibility – Article

Her Voice: Children are a parental responsibility

by Yolande Barial / For the Tracy Press Tracy Press Jan 28, 2011 | 1006 views | 

New Year’s Day, my 15-year-old son and his girlfriend were invited to a party at the home of one of their school friends in Lathrop. I had never been to the home before, and neither had my son or his girlfriend.

The closer we got to the area, we noticed other vehicles driving slowly; apparently looking for the same house. There were three adults standing outside of a house — two men and one woman. I parked the van directly across the street and got out, as did the teens in my care. As I walked up to the house, hand outstretched, I introduced myself and then my son.

Before I could even begin to introduce my son’s girlfriend, the woman said to me, “You are the first adult to get out of your car and meet us.” I responded with, “You have got to be kidding?”

She said no, as did her husband and the neighbor. The two men looked rather athletic and were very capable of handling any 15-year-old boys or girls. She then told me that I was more than welcome to go inside her home and take a look around, and then she said to look at how many kids are in her home.

I walked into the home, a beautiful and roomy place with vaulted ceilings. The bass beats were rhythmically bumping off the walls and at least 30 teenagers were standing around, looking and talking to one another. I saw a lot of scantily clad girls and a bunch of sagging-pants boys.

On my way back to the van, the mom and I chatted, the dad told me what time the party was over and I assured him that my son’s girlfriend’s father would be picking them up. I wished them good night. He assured me that everything was going to be fine. I was comfortable leaving my charges at the party.

As I walked back to my van, I saw more cars pulling up. A car of four girls with an adult woman in the driver’s seat — probably someone’s mom — caught my attention. The mom had the car in park, engine still running, windows rolled up. The girls got out and went to greet the owners of the home and went inside. The mom never got out, and as a matter of fact, she had already driven away before her charges had gone into the house.

As I sat in my van, I thought: As parents, we have really fallen down on the job. In light of all of the crime that occurs daily against our children, there are still adults/parents/guardians who find it permissible to just drop their children off at a stranger’s house.

Does anyone but me see something wrong with this behavior, this style of parenting? As just a mom, I call on the other guardians to remember that we are the parents, and as such, we are directly responsible for our children and their welfare. We cannot continue to abdicate our responsibility and then blame others for what our children do.

We must put into practice adult caretaking behavior, for not only our sake but for the sake of the children we have been blessed to have in our lives.

• Yolande Barial is a mother and Tracy resident. 

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/what-are-some-simple-yet-big-things-parents-guardians-can-do-for-children-and-teens/

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Relaxation

The last time I blogged I was pampering my daughter and allowing my sons the freedom that they enjoy to do the things they love so much. For the younger one; his enjoyment is found in solitude in just hanging out by himself and in his head, he calls it “chilling”. My older son’s idea of enjoyment is to be found in interacting with someone else.   My children are all different and that is what makes the house we live in work.  If you were to walk into our home there would be a feeling of welcoming and warmth and yet identity separate and equal – there is privacy and companionship all wrapped up into one little home.  I like it.  For me this past week has been a whirlwind of thoughts, activities and some of the best relaxation that I could have ever wished for – it is a testament for receiving the desire of your heart and knowing that in HIM all things really are possible.

To be in a space and a place where you like who you are and know whose you are is a good thing.  It is a place where at the beginning of the best of the rest of my years I find that I fit and where the fit is snug and tight and seems so right.

 Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Pampering

When I was 39 I was in a marriage that was headed for divorce, a mother of 2 sons, 6 and 3 year-olds and pregnant with a daughter. I was working a 40 hour a week, driving up and down the freeway crying and alone and tired and at the time I had no idea what depression was however I know now that was my middle name.  I was alone in a crowd of people and in my mind I lived alone; outwardly confidence wore my face as its shield from the world of reality. Then I met them, all at once, and for the first time in their circle I sat pregnant and doing the best I could to pretend as if I knew what it was like to be me.  They taught me first, that I was the prize and they taught me second, that having a man is not the sum total of your existence. The thing that continues to this day to resonate within that was shown and taught and talked about was the ability to pamper the Yolande inside. This pampering for me is best in solitude and this can be alone or with like-minded souls – solitude.  This pampering allows me to enjoy a good mani-pedi and to enjoy sitting under the hairdryer reading a good magazine, writing a killer poem or coming up with the next best article and the best ways to love the me I am becoming. It took close to 10 years and now by gosh I think I may be getting it.

On this day and in this frame of consciousness, I gave my daughter and one of her bff’s a mani-pedi.  They are 9.  There is something about having someone pamper you that makes the day-to-day work of living much more enjoyable.  I have wanted to give them this special treat for two reasons: the first being that their fingernails and toenails were beginning to resemble claws and secondly to get them into the mindset that a woman should maintain herself in the category of the well-groomed. So, as Jesus cleaned the feet of the disciples, I cleaned the feet of my little diva’s.  They are alike and both are very silly little girls with great imaginations and even greater ability to giggle.  The sound of their giggles makes me smile. I poured warm water into a foot bath and then told them to place their feet inside.  They made sounds of enjoyment as they slid their small feet one atop the other into one foot bath.  I then had them soak their hands into individual bowls of warm water. They liked that even more.  After a few minutes they got bored, which is my daughters favorite phrase, and begin to splash in the water.  I then clipped and trimmed their finger nails as well as their toe nails.  Now it is their turn to pick ou their fingernail color.  The favorite colors and the ones that I forbid any 9-year-old from wearing are black, and red so they must begin to choose again to pick out a color that is appropriate.

To be able to show my daughter and her friend that regardless of where you are going; as a lady ones nails and toes should always be well manicured. I know it is a small thing however there will be some sense memory of what it feels like to take care of yourself and I believe these two will not forget.   I enjoyed painting their nails as much as they enjoyed having them painted. My sense memory will always bring me back to this time and this minute and this sense will make me smile and make me proud to be a mother and to be genuinely in love with 2 little girls – now that is a good thing.

Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

yokids3@sbcglobal.net

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.” 

Size Matters/Sunday

My 2 youngest children received 2 brand new bicycles this past weekend.  They are mountain bikes and they are about 22 and 24 inches, which is taller than the bicycles they have.  I was excited for them.  They did not know when I left for the day that I would be coming home with these bicycles; neither did I.  After being surprised and happy that they had new bikes; the examination period began.  As the bikes were pulled out of the back of the van my children stated that these bikes were too big and then and there they decided they could not ride them.  I really was surprised to hear these words come out of their mouths because I know that once you can ride a bike you can always ride a bike regardless of the size.  Well this well proved fact was one that my children just could not believe.  It was like trying to convince them to eat their broccoli because it really is good for them. Deep down inside they know it to be true however they still know that they could possibly be wrong and that maybe just maybe I don’t know what I am talking about. After about 2 days they rode the bikes and low and behold they could ride them and size really didn’t matter.

Today is Sunday the day I like the best.  This morning as I entered the sanctuary, I felt full. I felt blessed. I felt emotional and I felt love. The reason for the feelings are twofold and the one for which I blog today is that there in the front row was the 12-year-old writer for the POC Youth Newsletter. She sat with mask draped over her mouth to keep out any substance and she smiled, she cried, she rocked.  She has been diagnosed with brain cancer. She has begun chemotherapy. She is strong, she loves the Lord, she is unique.  I wonder what would she say to my youngest if given a new bike would she automatically assume she could ride it or would she just try to find out that she could. I choose to believe the latter.  This Sunday I am reminded that God is God and there is no other. She sat in the front row as a testament to His power in our lives and in the lives of those around us.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Reconnection

There is something to be said for hanging out with people who really know you and like you anyway. That is the definition of a true friend.  I was watching one of those early morning shows and they were talking to a group of women who have known each other for years and reconnect on a regular basis to download.  They attribute these meetings to the success of their marriages.  One of the women expressed that, as women, we should maintain a connection because this connection is the place where we exhale.  When she said it, I was preparing to go to my place of reconnection.  To my diva day. Here and in the presence of fellow friends, we can be honest.  We cry, we laugh, we yell, we giggle, we sigh, we share lifes ups and downs and we prod each other to go forth and don’t divorce, don’t quit, don’t worry and encourage prayer. All of us have differing levels of relationship with God and yet neither of these relationships crowds out the other.  They are all equally respected in our circle of four  and feelings of intimacy of this type of onnection revives each one of us. Here we tell the truths and say the phrases that many cannot handle.  Here we are free to be our authentic selves and that is a good thing.  Thank you my diva’s.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”