When I was 39 I was in a marriage that was headed for divorce, a mother of 2 sons, 6 and 3 year-olds and pregnant with a daughter. I was working a 40 hour a week, driving up and down the freeway crying and alone and tired and at the time I had no idea what depression was however I know now that was my middle name.  I was alone in a crowd of people and in my mind I lived alone; outwardly confidence wore my face as its shield from the world of reality. Then I met them, all at once, and for the first time in their circle I sat pregnant and doing the best I could to pretend as if I knew what it was like to be me.  They taught me first, that I was the prize and they taught me second, that having a man is not the sum total of your existence. The thing that continues to this day to resonate within that was shown and taught and talked about was the ability to pamper the Yolande inside. This pampering for me is best in solitude and this can be alone or with like-minded souls – solitude.  This pampering allows me to enjoy a good mani-pedi and to enjoy sitting under the hairdryer reading a good magazine, writing a killer poem or coming up with the next best article and the best ways to love the me I am becoming. It took close to 10 years and now by gosh I think I may be getting it.

On this day and in this frame of consciousness, I gave my daughter and one of her bff’s a mani-pedi.  They are 9.  There is something about having someone pamper you that makes the day-to-day work of living much more enjoyable.  I have wanted to give them this special treat for two reasons: the first being that their fingernails and toenails were beginning to resemble claws and secondly to get them into the mindset that a woman should maintain herself in the category of the well-groomed. So, as Jesus cleaned the feet of the disciples, I cleaned the feet of my little diva’s.  They are alike and both are very silly little girls with great imaginations and even greater ability to giggle.  The sound of their giggles makes me smile. I poured warm water into a foot bath and then told them to place their feet inside.  They made sounds of enjoyment as they slid their small feet one atop the other into one foot bath.  I then had them soak their hands into individual bowls of warm water. They liked that even more.  After a few minutes they got bored, which is my daughters favorite phrase, and begin to splash in the water.  I then clipped and trimmed their finger nails as well as their toe nails.  Now it is their turn to pick ou their fingernail color.  The favorite colors and the ones that I forbid any 9-year-old from wearing are black, and red so they must begin to choose again to pick out a color that is appropriate.

To be able to show my daughter and her friend that regardless of where you are going; as a lady ones nails and toes should always be well manicured. I know it is a small thing however there will be some sense memory of what it feels like to take care of yourself and I believe these two will not forget.   I enjoyed painting their nails as much as they enjoyed having them painted. My sense memory will always bring me back to this time and this minute and this sense will make me smile and make me proud to be a mother and to be genuinely in love with 2 little girls – now that is a good thing.

Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.” 


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