The Royal Wedding

The Royal Wedding, ok? I think I believe people have  lost touch with reality. I was watching and listening to this program where they were talking about all of the excitement that has been generated because of the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. To paint a picture the interviewer began by talking about the wedding of the Prince ‘s father, Prince Charles to Diana which occured in July of 1981. The commentator spoke about the fairytale wedding and wanted to give us a personal feel to the interview by interviewing women who had witnessed the wedding of Prince Charles and Diana in 1981 as little girls.  These adult women began to speak in high pitched tones and bated breath as they described how they made sure they did not fall asleep before the wedding was broadcast. I believe the wedding was broadcast live in 1981. The wedding of William and Kate which is set for April 29, 2011, Saturday will be broadcast live beginning at 3:00 a.m. and the wedding is scheduled to take place at 6:00 a.m. So for the sake of this blog we will say the wedding time of  Charles and Diana could have occured at around this same time. Which meant these little bated breath girls who believe that their Prince will come and swoop them up and marry them, woke up and watched this wedding broadcast at 3:00 a.m.

 Now I like a good wedding as much as anyone, actually what I really like is a good reception; however, the wedding of Charles and Diana did not make me wait with bated breath and stare wide-eyed at the television set to witness their marriage vows spoken. All I could see through my young eyes was that here was this old man marrying a young girl and the bride-to-be, to me, looked scared. I don’t recall that she ever really smiled, the smile of joy; her smile appeared to be one of fear – like a deer caught in the headlights – impending doom.

As I am able to better put the words to the thoughts that I had back then, this wedding reminded me of an arranged marriage. The woman is chosen and has no choice. 

Diana’s wedding was called a fairytale wedding. The train on Diana’s wedding gown was way too long and the prince did not appear to be happy. And no one even partied! What is a wedding without a slamming reception? Well if you are born in my family the reception is what makes the wedding worth attending. Buying the bride and groom a gift is akin to the cover charge at the door before you go into the club to party!

Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married. The media is calling it another fairytale wedding. These same little girls that stayed up late to see the wedding of Prince Charles and Diana are now preparing their daughters to continue this tradition. There word, not mine.  My phrase would be to consider this a humongous waste of time. Our daughters learn by our example. What we are teaching them is that watching is better than doing. We teach our daughters that if we are shallow they can also be shallow. We teach our daughters that there really is a prince charming and he may not come on a horse however he comes and allows us to have a “Pretty Woman” experience. I am happy for William and for Kate, don’t get me wrong; however wouldn’t it be nice if we as mothers put this kind of time and energy into sharing times, stories and warm hugs with our daughters instead of  laying in front of a television oohing and aahing over a wedding that you were never even invited to in the first place. How about spending this quality time with our girls reading, talking, drawing, laughing and playing.

I think that is what Diana was trying to do, finally– laughing, enjoying, talking and for the first time I think she really loved. Sunday is the day the Lord has made. I will retire at 55 and life – wow, oh wow – it really doesn’t get any better than this.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

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How Great Thou Art

I sit on the 10th floor alone and in my thoughts I continue to find peace. I believe that is where we are at our best. When given time to just be -whether that be in the gym, in the bed, taking a nap, reading a book, walking, running, hiking, praying – these are the times when we flourish.  As a constant reminder of His presence in my life and as an affirmation of where my greatness comes from I clicked on the yahoo page just to see what was going on in the news.  I see her name linked with his name – Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill. Creative and powerful singers and musicians both.  I have always liked to hear her sing and him play and sing. The guitar strummed correctly and with just the right touch makes my body tingle with warmth – whether in the big strong bass beats or the gentle acoustic beats – I like.  I live for Him and I love Him.  I hope to continue to try do what is right for the rest of my life. To have a mind that constantly works and thinks and is producing something. So that in time when I am called to leave this earth, my children can look to and read and know that their mother loved the Lord, loved them and was loved and in love with a mere mortal man who loved her. God has continued to speak to me in the way I best undersand him.  Music and words. Please enjoy.

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/ourcountry/94317/carrie-underwoods-how-great-thou-art-moves-the-masses/

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

 http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

 http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Easter Sunday

April 24

I woke up with anticipation of the day’s day, Sunday, my favorite. This morning I did not go to service. This morning I awoke to the weather channel, to the sports channel, to Charles Stanley, to the smell of toast and eggs and the aroma of coffee. This morning my mind was thinking and my stomach was jumpy. In preparation for a long awaited vacation; I found that I was unable to relax.   After spending the last week preparing for this day; my children safely kept with family – I am not packed. I am not packed because as a mother and divorced parent my mind is still racing.  Not beginning the day in the customary Sunday slower pace, I could not yet begin until I could get the grace that sustains me.  I hummed, I prayed, I grabbed my laptop, I went downstairs and I wrote. I find that as I write my mind begins to slow down and my brain is rejuvenated. I thank the Lord for all He has done. I can pack now.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445
 

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Sons

As I sat with my daughter taking down her braids, I hear a crack. My middle son kicked a soccer ball and put a very, very small sized hole in the front glass window of the home; which had already been cracked by my older son tapping on the window with a key. Both of my sons lost their keys to the house. My older son  had his bicycle stolen from his school.  The middle son is a pre-teen and the older son is a teen. Their brains are made of smush and their ability to think past their next breath is often times amazing. I find myself constantly reminding them to do the chores on the chore board and when reminded; they moan, they walk even slower than they normally walk, and they act as if I, their mother, has asked them to run a marathon. The mother who feeds and clothes them and takes them wherever they need to go; as well as to places they want to go.

 They say only a man can teach a boy to be a man. I tend to believe ‘they’.  To have a man willing to step up and teach a boy is a good thing.  As I wipe the right side of my cheek with my thumb, I ponder this man, and think my sons are on their way to knowing that money talks and the other stuff walks.  As a mom I am to give guidance, discipline, consequences and expectations to my children.  These little almost teens will grow up one day and in my mind’s eye I see them taking care of me.  (one can dream) This is one of those times where unconditional love comes into play.  I suspect there will be many more of these days. My daughter is only 9, soon to be 10, I have a feeling that she is going to be more strategic  than the boys. We’ll see.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Thank you Mom

The writer writes about what is important to him. I blog and wax poetic about the things that light my fire and as a way to make what I believe real.  Once a thought has been written on a paper it becomes reality.  Think about all of the reality shows and expose’s and documentaries and movies that we see daily.  Our minds are able to take the impossible action or the over-the-top action and make it believable.  That is the awesomeness of our thoughts. If we think it, even for a little while, it becomes real.  So, to that end we must be careful what we allow into our thoughts.  We often times can not stop the thought when it comes; however what we can do is to immediately recognize it as good for us or bad for us and when we make that connection we can “fix” it.  We can make it stay or we can make it go away.  Sometimes either or both of  those reactions are hard to do.  However, just like everything that we want it takes practice.  Practice doesn’t necessarily make things perfect; what it does for me, anyway, is to make things better and better. The more we practice the better we become. 
 
I have been writing since as long as I can remember.  My  mother raised me and my brothers and sister to be a little crazy, yes; however we were raised at a time when the term single mother didn’t exist.  What it was, was I guess you can say kinda normal.  My parents were married in name only. My mother raised us to be independent.  At the time we didn’t realize it, we were just doing what kids do.  We sometimes bucked her and thought she was crazy or slow or embarrassing; I admit sometimes still; however the woman did an amazing job.  She loves us unconditionally and  respectfully and disrespectfully, she is opinionated and pretty much always right.  This woman; strong, dark and chocolate has kept everything I have ever done as a little girl. Over the last 20 years she has begun to send me things.  She sent me my Brownie beanie when I was a 10-year-old, my pictures that I framed and decoupaged when I was 17, my fathers dog tags when he was in the Navy  and my  diaries from when I was a pre-teen to  about 17.  I have read my thoughts as a child and today my life has become the thoughts I had written.  When I read what I wrote as a child it is comical and thought-provoking and just down right silly.  The problems I had back then – cute. The belief in God has always been a part of the little Yolande then and now, it is what makes me the big Yolande. 
 
Thanks Mom for believing in me and in us when we didn’t even know that you were doing it.  By keeping those things that mattered to me when I didn’t know it and giving them to me when I know now what I know makes manifest my belief in your incredible ability to mother.  It is in this action that I see manifest true love and true care.  It is what I hope to become. A mother who believes that her children can do anything infuses into the child the belief that they really can do anything.  It is not so much the words that are said, it is the actions behind those words. A touch, a smile, a giggle, a grimace,  sucking air, an oh my God these kids are gonna kill me look – whatever the action – my mom had it all.  My brothers and sister and I knew then and  now  that she loves us.  And we love her.
 
 Please click on the link below.  This is my first article published for the Examiner which is an online newspaper. I am an official journalist and will be writing on this site and hopefully more jobs that pay will follow.  Thank you mom.
 
 

Know Your Neighbor

It was a beautiful sunny day, the sounds of lawn mowers, kids riding on bicycles, the bass beats of a cars stereo and the smell of fresh-cut grass always ignite in me the desire to be outside.  It was just that kind of day. As I walked across the street to retrieve mail from the locked mail box centrally located in our section of the block; the neighbor, who can single-handedly be called “mr. neighborhood watch”, approached me in his usual welcoming matter.  He begins by asking me, did I know that the guy who lives in the house about 2 doors down is a convicted child molester? I responded with shock and that I did not.  After much back and forth discussions between the two of us about what were the repercussions, the neighbor informed me that there were small children living in the house.  I was more alarmed. He then told me he didn’t have a computer. I do, so I came inside, informed my fiancée and then the three of us went on the site and goggled Megan’s Law.  After a few clicks on the keyboard, voila, there he was – code violations cited, age, birth date and a photo of him, which told us that this was the man!  So, we then went back outside and told our next door neighbor, a young couple with one child, and the girlfriend proclaimed, oh yea, I already know that and that is why I don’t let my daughter play outside unless I am watching her.   Before I could think about what I would say next I blurted out, when were you going to tell me, you know I have kids! She struggled to answer and finally just said, I thought you knew and then she added the phrase that people think will make it alright, “I’m sorry.” Then I asked her if she told her daughter and she said no. Wow!!

 I immediately removed myself from the few neighbors that were talking, came inside and told my children that there was a child molester down the street, showed them the picture on-line and my fiancée and I both discussed what to do if he says anything to them and most importantly to never ever go to his house.

 We then talked about Jaysee Dugard who lived in a neighborhood for years and had 2 children by her abductor and molester, the teenaged boy who was kidnapped and tortured at a house in a “good area”  and countless other children who are violated daily by adults  in their neighborhood.  I stand to say that the reason why it happens in some of the best as well as the worst neighborhoods is because people don’t talk. The perception is that as long as I protect my own children, the other children will have to fend for themselves. Like the ostrich; our societies’ collective heads are buried under ground. Going deeper into that psyche is the belief that even though a family member or spouse has been accused and convicted of molestation, I still allow children to be in their presence and I keep the secret.

 We as a society need to be ashamed of ourselves.  We are as sick as our secrets.  Perhaps the man raped and orally copulated a child under the age of 14 years old when he was 18 years old or when he was 30 years old, I am not sure; however what I do know is that I will always err on the possibility of protecting children – mine and yours.  So, I say check out Megan’s Law on-line and see who is living in your neighborhood and in the neighborhoods of the school your children attend.  And when you know that you know, let the neighbors know. If more people took action against evil, evil would disappear.   www.meganslaw.ca.gov/

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

My Sunday

Today is my Sunday and the day I so look forward to coming. I woke up loved and in love.  I rose realizing that as soon as my feet hit the floor I will be in constant motion, getting myself, my children and now my sweetie moving in the forward direction of beginning our day.  Today the pastor preached from Mark 21: 1- 11. His sermon topic was Going by the book. Here we see Jesus is talking to two of his disciples and he tells them to go and get a donkey and a colt and bring it to him. They did it.  As the pastor spoke what my spirit heard was that when we are obedient go God’s word and follow His plan all things will work out for His best. I have heard this a million times, today it resonated with me.  It told me to get out of God’s way and let Him take care of what needs to be taken care of, he really doesn’t need me in his mix. 

On Friday might my divasister and I went to see Joel Osteen.  He preached from 2 Kings 8:5  and even though I don’t recall the title of the sermon, I do know what it meant.  It meant that God has the right people at the right time in your life and God knows how to connect you with the people who can show you favor and propel you.  So as far as I am concerned, what this means is that there is no need for me to worry and fret about anything for there is absolutely nothing that I can in my OWN power that can beat God.  These 2 messages delivered on 2 different dates by 2 different preachers appear to have some kind of connection.  God will give you what you need, when He wants to, so if I was you, I would just enjoy the journey.

As a restless soul, I have to fight the urge to do something; volunteer my time, pick up a child who needs a ride and take him home, work on this committee or auxillary; .whatever I feel the urge to do I must NOT.  I must languish in the moment and in this Sunday and thank God because I so needed Word today. I got it!

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

 Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”