How Great Thou Art

I sit on the 10th floor alone and in my thoughts I continue to find peace. I believe that is where we are at our best. When given time to just be -whether that be in the gym, in the bed, taking a nap, reading a book, walking, running, hiking, praying – these are the times when we flourish.  As a constant reminder of His presence in my life and as an affirmation of where my greatness comes from I clicked on the yahoo page just to see what was going on in the news.  I see her name linked with his name – Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill. Creative and powerful singers and musicians both.  I have always liked to hear her sing and him play and sing. The guitar strummed correctly and with just the right touch makes my body tingle with warmth – whether in the big strong bass beats or the gentle acoustic beats – I like.  I live for Him and I love Him.  I hope to continue to try do what is right for the rest of my life. To have a mind that constantly works and thinks and is producing something. So that in time when I am called to leave this earth, my children can look to and read and know that their mother loved the Lord, loved them and was loved and in love with a mere mortal man who loved her. God has continued to speak to me in the way I best undersand him.  Music and words. Please enjoy.

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/ourcountry/94317/carrie-underwoods-how-great-thou-art-moves-the-masses/

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

 http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

 http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

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Reconnection

There is something to be said for hanging out with people who really know you and like you anyway. That is the definition of a true friend.  I was watching one of those early morning shows and they were talking to a group of women who have known each other for years and reconnect on a regular basis to download.  They attribute these meetings to the success of their marriages.  One of the women expressed that, as women, we should maintain a connection because this connection is the place where we exhale.  When she said it, I was preparing to go to my place of reconnection.  To my diva day. Here and in the presence of fellow friends, we can be honest.  We cry, we laugh, we yell, we giggle, we sigh, we share lifes ups and downs and we prod each other to go forth and don’t divorce, don’t quit, don’t worry and encourage prayer. All of us have differing levels of relationship with God and yet neither of these relationships crowds out the other.  They are all equally respected in our circle of four  and feelings of intimacy of this type of onnection revives each one of us. Here we tell the truths and say the phrases that many cannot handle.  Here we are free to be our authentic selves and that is a good thing.  Thank you my diva’s.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Pain

On Friday I learned that a close friend of one of my divasisters committed suicide.  I was sitting in my office and she called. In her voice I heard angst and immediately asked her what was wrong.  She told me he killed  himself through tears and pain.  I told her to go home and I was on my way.  I called the remaining two divasisters the response was the same – we are on our way.  I arrived in about an hour and a half, one diva was already there and shortly after my arrival the other one arrived. We rocked, we hugged, we cried, we cleaned the house, we made coffee, we played with the dog, we laughed and we watched her moan, we went through photographs together looking for him and reminding us how many years we have known each other in photos. We see skinny brown girls with smooth skin and tight behinds having fun.  Girls with stomachs pushed out impregnated with life-sons and daughters and having fun. In our expected diva pose we love one another – for real.  As we watched her moan we cried for her pain.  We knew him, yes, he was a part of the fun we had when he lived in the same area. He made us laugh, he told great stories, he could cook, he had a great smile and he was warm and a lover of my divasister sitting in pain.  She loved him as friends love one another, he a female version of us and a man on a mission wanting to be accepted by his family who would not. He left a note for my diva sister. She will read it after the memorial that she and the other of his closest friends are going to have  to celebrate his life.

Suicide leaves those left behind feeling left behind.  I have been in pain in my life.  I have hurt so bad that I thought that crying was all I would ever do.  All of my deep pain has been caused because I allowed someone else to validate who I was.  I allowed a man to dictate if I was worthy of  love or worthy of him. I didn’t know that I didn’t know that I didn’t know, that I am the only one that validates me and God is the only one that provides for me.  I am blessed in the fact that I have never thought that taking my life was the answer probably because I was afraid of doing it and because I know pain and I know how bad it feels to be ignored and left behind.  I would never want to leave anyone behind in my life without them feeling the full brunt of my love for them.  I would not on purpose remove myself from those I love; especially my children. 

The pain I have had in years past eventually left.  The fact that I got up and got up and got  up again every morning allowed my aha moment to come and allowed me to realize that it will pass. Pain does go away and even though it can last for years it does subside if we but recognize that time is fleeting and it waits for no one.  As a person who knows that there is a God and who firmly believes that “this too shall pass” I must remain grounded in this phrase of truth and it will pass.  How must it feel to not believe that it is possible for the new day to bring a new truth?  I don’t know. 

When I was a little girl, I faintly remember being told that when people kill themselves they do not go to heaven or hell, they go to purgatory. Purgatory is the in between place that the souls goes to and the only way that you can escape from purgatory and go to heaven is that you must have people on earth pray for you.  I am not 100% sure if I was told this or I thought it up all in my little girls mind; whatever the case I think it and so I figure it couldn’t hurt to pray.  I pray for him, our friend and hope he is out of his personal pain.  I pray that he rests and that the Lord will place him where he is destined to go. I pray for my divasisterfriend that her pain is comforted by the words of his note and the words of our God.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

The Party

Saturday I had the party for my children which as usual ended up not only being a party for them it was one for me and my divasisters, friends and relatives. The age range of the women was from about 35 to 76, white and varying shades of the color brown, socioeconomic levels of women, all united under one possibly two themes.  The consistent thread of love of our children and the tie that binds love of the woman we each represent to ourselves. The joy was sensed even before you came through the open door of the home. These mothers ranging in age from 35 to 76 came for the celebration of my brand-new 9-year-old daughter and my one-zit-in-puberty 12-year-old son who brought with them children ranging in an age from 8 to 16 all shades of brown, boys and girls, jumping in a jumper, shooting basketball, riding bikes and scooters, playing tag and video games and listening to the sound of Justin Timberlake and Usher exploding in base beats  throughout the home. It was wonderful, it was comforting, it was fun, it was a memory making time for not only my children also for the women that loved them. 

We told stories, we ate salads, bbq chicken, hot dogs and chips, we drank wine, water and soda, we had appetizers of basil and chives cheese spread on tomato basil crackers and we had coffee – the mainstay of any event.  Coffee keeps us up and if the vino has made us more eeeeaassy in our speech the coffee brings us down. Interesting how the same drink can affect the drinker in more than one way.

Women who came for the party stayed for THE PARTY. This is the one where all of the women sit around a table in our family we just call it the kitchen table. We sit around the table and tell stories. We share hidden secrets so openly that men have to be removed from the area. We talk about the days of old school when we weighed about 98 lbs,  had beautiful flat stomachs, tight thighs minus the cellulite, smooth skin, and the ability to out drink any man at the bar and still get up and go to work the next day. We talked about the men we loved, the men we hate, the men we love to hate and the men we wish we had. We share aha moments, triumphant moments, silly moments and moments of extreme pain. We flip back and forth between so many different extremes of emotion and as we sit, we each are able to revert back in our sense memory to the tween girls that still can be found in our minds and expressed from our vocal cords and a sense of everything is all right with the world comes alive in us and in all those who feel and hear the joy. There is nothing like a little girl who can enjoy being a little girl. There is nothing like growing into a woman who will retire at 55 and knowing that the little girl is looking out from behind the eyes of growing wisdom and enjoying being 50 and knowing that this life is a such a gift.  As my little girl looks out she knows that she is extremely blessed as she is influenced and touch by each woman present and pushed into the destiny of being a much better mother than even the tween in her coulda’ ever thought.

My children had a birthday party and I had a ball.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Sunday – the day after

All I can say is this past week has been one of the busiest.  I could barely enjoy my Sunday which is my favorite day of the week, for all of the things that were swirling in my mind.  I have been acting for my boss while he is out of the country and I tell you that busy or rather fruitful is just a smidgen of how I have been occupied. Not only at work, however at home, and in my writing career – fruitful.

However enjoy it I did.  Sunday that is. I always wake up feeling happy on Sunday. I look forward to having my coffee and beginning the day with word.  I look forward to waking my children up and all of us get dressed and go to church.  I immediately feel comforted when I walk into the doors of the sanctuary as I am greeted by good mornings, you go girls, I love that outfit, bad shoes chile, fake cheek kisses, warm real cheek kisses, hugs galore and a lot of respectful deacon and mother of the church head nods accompanied by a smile – it feels like home to me, it just feels like home. Today the pastors question were 2. One was who are you? and the other was reaching a decision. The pastor preached 2 messages today. Even though he spoke I really didn’t hear what he was saying this Sunday. I was overcome with the feeling of complete joy of complete satisfaction with my life. I was doing what I know feeds me, I was sitting amongst people who are genuinely trying to get to the point in their lives where the question and the statement mentioned by the pastor will get answered and revealed. The answer should be that I am a child of God first and then I am a mother and then I am a good friend and I am a fabulous writer and author.  He says that n 2 Cor 5:17 we become new creatures when we truly allow God to dwell in us and manifest in our actions.  When we know who we are then and only then will the decisions we reach line up with where we are going in our lives. The destiny decision allows us to continue even when we have minor set backs; we know that those set backs are just that a little something that sets us back a little bit from our present course; however it does not deter us from our ultimate decision. He then expounded and gave the following description. If you take off in your car going to let’s say southern california and while on the road your tire goes flat. What do you do? Do you turn around and go back further damaging the tire, do you park it and get out and wait for someone to pick you up, do you decide not to go in the direction you were going and come back to where you had been or do you  change the flat and keep on going? My decision of course is to change the flat and then keep on moving. I know that if we don’t do this we will just fade away.  

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/The-Power-of-Gratitude

Oprah

Well yesterday was Oprah’s first show of the last season of the Oprah Winfrey Show. I saw it yesterday and all of the 300 invited guests – her all-time favorite fans – I found that I was teary.  The women and the sprinkling of men that were in the audience were so excited, screaming, jumping, hugging each other and crying. The audience was in the same frenzy as the people we see at the Michael Jackson’s concerts, except for, of course, there was no fainting and having to be carried out of the arena – all sweaty and just plain old wrung out from the sheer excitement of the experience of being in the presence of Michael.  Oprah’s fans, those who have been with her on this amazing ride for 25 years, are taken aback by how quick that 25 has flown.  I remember the first time she came on the air, I was 25 years old.  She captivated me from the first show and to this day she still makes me smile.  As a fellow Mississippian, she makes me proud. As a black woman I am in awe of her ability to cross color lines. As a woman who has loved and lost and loved and lost and loved and finally got it – I say you go girl! As a woman who loves God as I loved God I welcome her  insights. As a girlfriend to Gayle, I fee her. To have someone love you even when you are not lovable is the ultimate in being a true friend.  

I remember the very first time I had my show at Starbucks in Oakland.  The place was packed, there were no more chairs for people to sit in, the tables were bunched together to accommodate all of the people who were standing and there were even people hanging around outside – waiting for my first poetry show to begin at Magic Johnsons Starbucks.  I was the producer, the director, the writer and the all around hostess with the most-est. I was amazed that so many people came.  They came of course to listen to spoken word and yet I know that the larger reason they came was for me. To support me and to be able to enjoy some of their friends who they knew would also be there to support me.  I remember sitting with my mr. chocolate holding his hands, looking into his eyes and saying to him that I can’t believe it.  He said matter of fact, I don’t know why you have put the work into this and of course they were coming.  I smiled and felt so much love and appreciation and what was more it was respect.  I can only imagine that my feeling of OMG are magnified akatrillion times with Oprah.  I  had a birthday party with my girlfriend to thank the people in my life for their continued support. It was  a party where we had guests and no one had to pay for the show nor the dinner. Oprah gave her 300 guests a trip to Australia that was her way of saying thank you.  http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Oprahs-Surprise-for-Her-Ultimate-Viewers-Video

It is not what you know, it is who you know and how you treat who you know when you don’t need them.  Oprah Winfrey has done amazing things with her life and with the wealth that she has been blessed to have. She gives back and gives back and then gives more; and it is always magnified back to her many times over. I plan to give another party one day to these same people who made me who I am at 50 – again.  Maybe at 100 years old. Retiring at 55 – whew – time does go by. 

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

 https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/ 

 http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial 

ybarial@gmail.com 

 “Through her inspiraional writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.

Sunday – Woo Hoo

I woke up this morning excited as usual because as you know Sunday is my favorite day.  More to follow tomorrow – sleepy now. G’night.

Ok here you go….

I woke up this morning excited as usual because as you know Sunday is my favorite day.  And today I had so many words speak to me that I know a change is coming – again.  I set my alarm on Saturday evenings to wake up at 6:30 a.m. to allow me time to hit the snooze button about 4 times and then finally at about 6:55 a.m., I sit straight up and begin the stumbly, half awake/eyes barely open walking and holding on to the rails of the staircase as I walk slowly down guided by the aroma of coffee.  I go into the kitchen pour my coffee, put in a teaspoon of sugar and then take that first sip – yeeeaass – and then I amble back up the stairs a little more alert and sit down on the edge of my bed with the hot coffee cup in my left hand and the remote control in my right. I turn on the t.v. and hear the voice of Charles Stanley. http://www.intouch.org/  He was talking about the woman at the well.  This is the second time that one of my favorite speakers has spoken about this woman at the well, the Samaritan woman. The other speaker that spoke about this woman was TD Jakes. http://www.tdjakes.org/.  I believe I finally figured why some women settle in relationships it is the talk that we talk about ourselves in our minds that comes out in our speech.  It has been proven by some high-falutin big time scientific types who enjoy the small stuff that makes us all tick, that we believe what we hear about ourselves from our own mouths rather than what people/the world has to say. There is a scripture that mentions we are hung by the tongue and I do believe that.  This is the principle of the book The Secret and it is the principle of the New Testament of the Bible.  What we say we become, what we speak we are. http://www.thesecret.tv/

So, back to the woman at the well.  She is a woman who has had 4 husbands and now is single again and living with a 5th guy. When she encounters this man sitting at the well, he asks her, a Samaritan woman, for some water and then asks her a question about her husband. She is surprised that he asks her for the water (and that is another aha moment that I am not going to deal with right now) and about her husband. She replied that she does not have a husband. Again, this woman has been married 4 times and now she has decided to just shack up with number 5. …in her mind she came to the conclusion that BECAUSE every man that she loved and gave her all to left, that there must be something wrong with her.  Soooo what she does is internalize this and then decides well I am not going to give myself to any man in marriage, I am going to not expect anything and choose a man to just get by – settle. Me? Oh my…maybe..naaawww..oh…my…

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/What-Oprah-Knows-for-Sure-Aha-Moments-and-Listening-to-Your

Here comes my aha moment; follow me ya’ll… One of the things that Charles Stanley explained this morning was that back in those days, the man did not need to have a reason to leave the relationship, it could be anything from how the husband didn’t like what she cooked for dinner to what he wants his wife to do sexually that she doesn’t want to do, to something that she knows is immoral and she will not do, to not liking your family and friends, to not watching what he wants to watch on t.v.!  Now this woman, who in her eyes has been rejected, realizes that she no longer wants to be rejected, so she settles and allows this last man to live with her without benefit of the marriage she always believed she needed. Stanley said that no amount of apologies can make up for the rejection that this woman has felt on many an occasion by man after man.  Every time they left for their reasons this Samaritan woman’s heart was broken. Then Stanley said that the man at the well said that what He had to offer was the living water and that living water would and could provide all that she needs. He told her of her past and she knew then, that it wasn’t that she was wrong; what it is, is that she needed to realize that the men she chose had their reasons that really had nothing to do with who she is!  (…for all of you sistahs who already know this; great, just bare with those of us who just got it!…) If I continue to talk the negative deep-down-inside kinda’-quiet talk to myself that is not good for me, then what makes me think good will come. This Samaritan woman came away from this encounter with a new found belief that indeed God lives in her and so she leaves His presence to tell all of the men that she saw as she skipped back into town about her encounter. She had an inner glow and even though they could see the same body walking; they could feel something different about her. These men believed her. And then believed even more when they encountered this man, Jesus, for themselves.  Stanley says the Samaratin woman did not speak to any of the other women – only to the men. My thoughts here – women have a tendency to be more critical of each other and less forgiving and that is another blog entirely; and often times until another woman can really see a change in actions, they find it hard to embrace the change. I believe that Ms. Samaritan continues in her joy from this encounter forward and soon she is at the point where she is so full of His love that his love isn’t as important as she thought it was.  It would be nice; however it will not define her. Her passion is and always will be God and the 3 children that He has entrusted in her care. She/I plan to come to my life with this renewed vigor for who I am and embrace the living water that His Word promises.  

 Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

 “Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”