Just My Opinion

Just my Opinion #7 – April 1, 2010

Ok, so I am listening to the radio and surprise surprise more scandal about cheating and all that that entails. Jesse James has done something where he feels the need to apologize to his wife and family, Tiger finished his therapy and apparently made a statement where no one close to him professionally knew that he was cheating – did ya’ll really believe that no one knew?, and now the RNC  “Republican National Committee” had some kind of outing in January at a West Hollywood voyeur sex club. Let’s not forget Mark Sanford, the governor of South Carolina cheated on his wife, Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick reported he had sent romantic text messages to his chief of staff,  Sen. David Vitter of Louisiana, whose phone number was on a list of clients of the “D.C. Madam”,  Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho was arrested in the bathroom of the Minneapolis airport on lewd-conduct charges, Sen. John Ensign had an extramarital affair and former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards admitted not only having an affair with a video producer he also fathered her child.

Now let’s ask the question if these men who have managed to excel in education and the ability to conduct successful professional careers and be married for many years and father children and shape the future of these United States – if these men, these role models and the women they are with can’t manage to keep their clothes on then how in the world can we expect a kid from the wrong side of the track or a kid from the right side of the track to understand with their very limited knowledge and under-matured and not yet finished growing brains that they should keep their clothes on? The media spends so much time on what I think is this nonsense that it baffles the mind.  The lives we peek into are lives that were once private. Now everything they do is scrutinized. Did Tiger’s wife go completely off and knock the windows out of the car before it crashed – maybe and if she did I say ‘you go girl!’. I would also add it might have been a good idea for her to wait before she was in the car to start fighting and the swinging the club or whatever.  It wasn’t the smartest thing to do – however for your sentiment and your pain and your hurt I will give a ‘you go girl!’  Men, grow up! It is just sex after all.  You can close your eyes and imagine can’t you?  Or you can close your eyes and think about all that you have accomplished professionally in your career and what this one thing can do to all of that.  It will not only destroy your career and the image that you work so hard to groom it will affect your wife and your children. Remember children do as they see you do not as they hear what you say. Our society should be ashamed for all of the things that our children are allowed to see. It is just a shame.

Just my Opinion #6 – March 16, 2010

Ok, I am riding down 580 on my way to work and a few hours later I am riding down MacArthur Street in Oakland on my way to my P.O.  Box. There must be an infusion of stimulus money. Every where I look men are working on the freeways and in infrastucture. I see white men, asian men an some men with a tan – I can honestly say I have not yet seen a brown or a black person working on these crews.  Is the thert fault or is is ours? I was infuriated.  Those bothers hanging out on the corner were not infuriated. They were still standing there, while the men drove the big trucks and parked in their neighborhood.  The neighborhood where the brothers get to stand on street corners mindlessly talking about either sex or getting hi, while the white/asian/brown guy gets off of those trucks and hardly acknowledge the brother standing on the corner without a job.  Just something to think about.

Yolande Barial

Writing on Purpose

Just my Opinion #6 – February 20, 2010

OK, here it goes.  Tiger apologized on national television about how he cheated on his wife and his children. I ask why?  I really do not care.  I didn’t watch the interview when it came on and I tried really, really hard not to watch anything about it or listen to anything about it. It was impossible.  Every station after and before it came on had already seen the speech and of course leaked some of it, when it was on it was on everywhere and when it was over not only was it on in sound-bites and text scrolled on the bottom of the television screen. I know you may be thinking if Tiger doesn’t care why should we?  I think we should care because we should hold ourselves to a higher standard. Must we all be voyeurs?  How many men this past 2 years have cheated on their wives and their children and left them humiliated by that thing between their legs.  This thing gives life and it takes it away.  It gives life and it takes it away.  IT GIVES LIFE  — AND — IT TAKES IT AWAY.

It takes away something from the child who up until this time believed that their father was their hero.  They believed that their family was gone so many days away from them because he was their hero.  Working so hard to make sure that they could have all of the finest things and life and taking care of their mother so she could also.  They believed that when they saw their father on t.v. hopping on one jet after another, standing in front of congress spouting about what I as the Governor, the Senator, the district attorney, the academy award winning actor, the mayor, the teacher, the waste management worker, the pastor, the man on disability – this man was their hero.  Humf – really now.  Now they are left to have to try to make sense of this illusion that they have lived under.  They have to listen to the pain in their mothers voices as she tries to stand by her man and then try to leave that same man when he continues to humiliate her and her children.  How many of us could live our lives if everyone knew our little dirty secrets.  We all have them.  If we don’t I suspect we must NOT be human.   All of us make mistakes however many of us are given some special grace that allows us to not have the entire world looking at our mistakes.  And not only looking at our mistakes but talking about them on major networks, having other people talk about our business on major networks, having people lie on us on major networks and then have story after story written and embellished and on top of all of that – after our lives have been scrutinized with the finest of all fine toothed combs – we need to apologize to the world? Come on, as my momma use to say and I am sure yours did also if the kids next door jump off the roof will you?  Must we all be Lord of the rings people? Can the people who rep[ort and write and say how much children mean to them – really put the microphone and the pen to the test and turn it off and put it down.  No speakey, no typey – let’s report the NEWS! Someone’s life is not news.  Has anyone every considered the spouse, the mother, the sister, the aunt who is left to make a major decision about her life and her children’s lives in the midst of this turmoil.  This kind of pain is unimaginable and can be unbearable.  We must take a look at this society and realize that just because you can doesn’t mean you should.  What are we really teaching out children?  Kids do what you do and not what you say.  Who really is the bully?  Is it Tiger or man like Tiger, is it the women or women like these women or is it society who help create these men  who have the thing that takes life away to be able to think they are untouchable. Women stand up and claim who you are – just because he wants to stick it in ya doesn’t mean you should let him.  As Beyonce “if you like it then you shoulda’  put a ring on it! oh oh oh oh ah oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh ah ho…..” and then I quickly turn my head left to right and right to left, left hand in the air waving with a beat and stepping out with stiletto’s – you go girl!!  

Just my Opinion #5 – February 8, 2010

Well Haiti is now further on the backburner. Some good meaning folks went over there and tried to take some Haitian children (orhpans?); never minding that at least one of the children said she had parents.  They were bringing them to a better life. Sarah Palin, while in an interview, had written notes in the palm of her hand. Yep she had a cheat sheet in her hand that she actually referred to for answering a question!  Some other famous news guy who had been caught  cheating once before was caught cheating again with a 20 something year old and this time he goes into rehab.  Yep he is a sex addict, like Tiger?  This rehab is in Missississippi. I think Tiger is getting out. The Superbowl winners were the New Orleans Saints and Bourbon Street erupted in cheers.  Many people in New Orleans and in the surroundiung states still do not have houses – they are still living in trailers. Remember Katrina?  Instead of solving real problems, like our President is trying to do, we fight without any solutions and we distract with nonsense news.  Oh and after goo gobs of years of  Toyota making some pretty doggone good cars now they are having problems.  Did the owners change?  We need to get a grip here in this country. What is important? 

Just My Opinion #4 – February 3, 2010

Imagine my complete horror when I turned on the news and after a little less than about 2 weeks the media has become board with Haiti. 

Oprah’s Angel Network http://www.oprah.com/angel_network.html is donating $1 million to the American Red Cross for Haitian Relief. If you’d like to help, text “Haiti” to 90999 to donate $10 to American Red Cross Relief or go to RedCross.org.

Yep, now we are forced to have to listen to the goings-ons with Senator Edwards, his mistress, his wife, and the close friend and confidant/ex-aide Andrew Young, who of course has written a book.  He and his wife agree that it was for protection. Perhaps, it was I am not a judge.  I am not even going to put in my 3 1/2 cents worth of comment other than to say – MEDIA and PEOPLE where are your priorities?  Then today we are “outraged” that Michelle Obama said that her children were overweight according to the childrens’ doctor. Outraged is a little much don’t you think?  I mean really.  If that was what the childrens’ doctor said who are we to pass judgement on Michele. Looking at the girls I don’t see a weight problem and I am sure they may not see a weight problem.  My daughter who is all of about 60 pounds and is 8 years old tells me she has a fat stomach. What? She is in gymnastics and her stomach is flat and solid and hard.  She is quite athletic. She gets those images from television and from other girls.  I definitely don’t have any qualms about my weight.  The last time I even considered dieting was after my last child.  That was only temporary.  Once I realized how to keep it off by exercise – I do that.

I had tears in my eyes of Hallelujah for our media that have  now just dried up.  The people in Haiti have nothing and we spend our time talking about this stuff.

Just My Opinon #3 – January 29, 2010

I had a moment this morning while listening to TD Jakes that the woman with the issue of blood and had to touch his garment could of been going through menopause.  She took a chance because she had tried to do things the way society wanted her to do and now being tired of the pretending she wants the blood to stop. This connects with me because well I am now feeling that way.  My cycle was so intense that it had to stop.  I took action and I reached out to the gynecologist and touched her lab coat. (I know couldn’t help it.) She gave me what I needed to hear that I was not having anymore children and why continue a cylce that doesn’t every appear to go away and keeps youu tired. Let’s have that hysterectomy.  Amen!

Just My Opinion #2 – January 21, 2010

What is on my mind this evening? How to pray? I prayed out loud to myself to see if I could pray like they do in the church. You know some people can just pray and  make it sound so good. I find myself stammering and sounding terrible when I pray out loud.  I am a person that  has no problem standing up in front of an audience and speak and recite poetry however the minute you ask me to pray out loud, I lose it.  I can feel myself  begin to sweat and feel that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach the minute I pray out loud.  In my church the people pray like professionals. They begin by praying for the pastor and the deacons and the choir and then begin to pray for whatever tragedy, for the goodness of the Lord, for the children and then praising him for all of his goodness….it goes on and out and the people in the pews begin to speak to the prayer and encourage them with yes lords and amen’s and hallelujah’s and grunts and moans and speak Lords and say its.  The call and response of the African comes out of us folk when we are in church.  I started to say black folk but it is not, it is all folk.  It is almost as if it is something engrained into our DNA and our genes and we can’t help but speak an affirmation to the one who is praying.

When I began to practice praying today I realized that when I spoke about what I was thankful for it was so much easier to pray.  I have been doing it all wrong.  I have been praying with some kind of idea in mind of how the prayer should go and what will others think. In essence for the crowd, for the people and not praying for me. Yes I can begin by praise to the pastor and the deacon, women and children’s ministry, I can pray for the choir and for the ushers.  I can do all of that if I do it with praise.  I must always in all things thank the Lord for giving me such wonderfully fabulous children and I thank the Lord and ask him to continue to protect them and those who take care of them when I am not in the kids presence.  As I prayed out loud, I thank the Lord for giving me this day and for being patient with me.  I thank the Lord for the ability to discern what He wants me to say and what he wants me to not say.  I feel the Spirit when he speaks, I pray for the feeling of connectedness to the Spirit.  Prayer is after all one of the most intimate forms of conversation with the Lord.  We speak directly to Him with the assurance that He hears and He listens.  Listening is much more important than heearing often times people say Yes I hear you.  Well we all know that there is a difference in the hearing.  I believe the Lord listens, He knows what my secret desire is and he promises in His word to give you the desires of your heart if we but honor and praise Him.

Just My Opinion #1 – January 15, 2010

What is on my mind this evening?  The earthquake in Haiti.  All I can say is that after a week of absolute nonsense on television that the media has realized what their job really should be.  Not to report what Tiger did or whether what Sen. Reid said was racist even though those who were the object of that racism said it wasn’t, nor what celebrity slept with what celebrity. The media’s job is to show humanity as it is.  Stripped down in many cases to its base element and then to show that same humanity doing and saying things that seem impossible in circumstances such as these.  Digging for hours in rubbe that was once someone’s home to find someone buried for hours and days and even praising that at least they are still alive.  The Haitian people are suffering and need our help, our compassion and our prayers, as well as food and shelter which I am proud to say ‘My President’ (my pet name for him) Obama has called upon the United States, other countries, organizations and individuals to help out in all ways that they can.   The people have rallied, the media has breathed a good long breathe, looked at the fog in the mirror, wiped it off and looked back into the mirror and saw themselves. 

Oprah’s Angel Network http://www.oprah.com/angel_network.html is donating $1 million to the American Red Cross for Haitian Relief. If you’d like to help, text “Haiti” to 90999 to donate $10 to American Red Cross Relief or go to RedCross.org.


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