Out of the mouths

My children are challenging and loveable.  I never know when I am going to hear them tell me that I am a good mom and ask for a kiss or whether they are going to tell me that they are tired and go to their rooms and close the door. Either reaction is what I am accustomed to and for the most part it does not bother me, as long as they close the door politely, I am cool with it.  As parent(s) we spend so much time worrying about our children’s feelings, keeping  them preoccupied with the latest gizmo that they have no time to actually sit down and hear their thoughts, and chat with their siblings or their parent.  Every child and many, many adults I know might as well live as an ostrich with its head in the sand.  We have to look up and then do something.  We, as parent, need to set the bar and set it high. Mediocrity is not in my vocabulary for my children.  I want them to be and do better than me and I strongly believe they will. They are children not afraid to try, not afraid to complete, an are ok academically. What you speak you  believe.  There is a saying that states that  a majority of what you hear other people say means nothing compared to what you hear yourself say about yourself.  After hearing that statement some goo gobs of years ago, I made up in mind that my children would hear that I was excited and in love with them and that I think they are smart, beautiful, handsome, a good boy and girl and that knew they were all going to college one day and that was that.

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

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What is a parent?

He is an autistic child who graduated from college!  Ain’t God good!

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/autistic-students-inspirational-graduation-speech-10935769

This is what being a parent is all about!!    For the past 2 weeks I have been so busy with my children and with my job and with my passion. Tonight I am exhausted. I want to go to sleep and yet this  little video moved me so earlier that I felt that I had to share it with all who happen to read my blog.

If you ever think that your children will never amount to anything because of some flaw that you see in their personality or character remember this young man and remember his parents who really know what the word parent means. It is not just something we do when we feel like it. It is 24/7, all the time, in good and bad, when it rains or when it is dry, when you have money and when you don’t, when you want to give up and when you push through. A parent believes that their child can excel to the level that the child wants to excel to, not what the parent would like.  A parent is ever-present and always in the mind of a child who has been sown into. A parent claps when the child makes a mistake on his first school play or misspells a commonly misspelled word for his/her age group and one who smiles when the child walks into the room. Almost as if the child is you and you are the little puppy so happy to see their master no matter how many times the master comes and goes outside of the room.  Joy cometh. So if you really want to moan and complain take a look at this clip and it will cause you re-think your think.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

Tears in the corner of my eye

Last night I spent the evening with my daughter at her brownie troop meeting.   The girls made mothers’ day cards out of construction paper and the moms met about what we were going to do for the summer with the girls.  These women are so young and energetic and they happen to like being with the almost 50 year old broad which is moi.  The girls enjoy being with each other and the moms do also. 

Today, Saturday, I spent the day with 2 of my children in body and the other in spirit. My older son had his final presentation at UC Berkeley’s HAAS School of business YEAH program and my middle son had his second to the last soccer game of the season.  Because of the timing 10 a.m. in Berkeley and 11 a.m. in Tracy and the fact that I knew my middle son would not want to miss his soccer game I asked his best friends mom if she would pick him and take him and then let him stay with them until I came back from Berkeley.  She said yes and I felt comfortable. This woman is another young energetic woman who has 2 smaller children.  Her son and mine really have become fast friends in school and now being on the same soccer time is like adding gravy and butter to your mashed potatoes. Yummy!  

We arrived at the campus and it was a-buzz with activity as usual.  There is something always going on at the university.  I dropped my son off at the building and then went to park. It was 10a.m. The presentations were to begin at 10:30 a.m.  After parking my daughter and I walked the block back to the campus.  It was a beautiful day in Berkeley and here you see all manner of people and animals.   In some cases the people look like animals and the animals are just confused as the look at the people. The program began on time. Around 10:45 my cell phone vibrates it is my ex.  He is late of course and calling me to find out what building we are in.  I immediately became irritated. First of all this is the very first time he has ever come to anything our son has done other than graduate from 8th grade for the past 2 years.  Actually he has not come to the boys’ basketball or soccer games, never attended an awards ceremony of which there have been several between the three of them and now this is the very first time he has attended this event ever in 2 years and he has the nerve to be late and then not to know where we are and to call me during the time when he knows the presentations are taking place.  I whispered to him to ask someone on campus. I hung up. About 10 minutes later he calls me again and has the nerve to be irritated with me. I then get up and go outside and really I wanted to cuss him out! I knew however that if I began this my voice would carry and everyone in the building which happened to be built out of logs would hear me and that would be too embarrassing to my son. Not me, of course I would find it an enjoyable and uplifting experience to get a little bit of irritant out of my throat. (smile) Anywho, I told him to come to the log cabin. He did.  Then once he arrived he proceeded to talk to our son a little too loud and I asked them to step out side. I mean really!

My son was wearing a black and white thin pinstripe suite with a red shirt and black and red Nike’s and he wears an afro – he look fabulous and I told him so.  He smiled and made the motion of brushing his collar!  His group’s presentations are always good.  He opened up the presentation and as soon as he spoke I felt a tear coming up in m eye.  This is the kid that can’t remember to pick up his underwear in the bathroom or to close the refrigerator door however here he is wowing the audience and me with a wonderful presence and a comfort of being on stage that is welcoming. His group came in second place.  He was proud and I was proud.  The tear was there it didn’t come out and for that I am glad.  I didn’t want to appear to be a blubbering crybaby of a mom.  Even though I wanted to let the tear fall.  I had my son next Friday, May 15th some 15 years ago.  He came out of my body that day and the joy has never left since then.  He was a joy to hold and to take care of and he was the baby that would let anyone in the family hold him. He seemed to know right away that all of these voices that he recognized instinctively were there to protect him and to love him and he gave that baby love back in return for their sincere family bond. My middle son called me to say that his team won 3-2.  He was so excited and I was too.  A friend that was with me remarked that I don’t have any losers for kids. I agreed.  Not just because of what they do are they good kids, they are good kids because of who they are.  The protect me when they can, they love me even when I am yelling at them, they write me notes, they make me pictures, they make up their beds and brush their teeth.  They are my life and I give them what I can to make sure that they have a chance of a better future than what I had. Now I had it bad, it was and still is an actually good future, I want them to be able to experience college the way that I did totally and 100% engrossed in living the campus life and getting to know who they are as young adults and discovering their individual passions.  The tear in my eye this day is one of pride and contentment and thankfulness to God for blessing me with children who are a joy to have in your presence.

Yolande Barial, mother, writer and sensually inspired poet.