Mother’s Law

 Proverbs 6:20-23 (NIV)

20 My son, keep your father’s command
   and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
21 Bind them always on your heart;
   fasten them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will guide you;
   when you sleep, they will watch over you;
   when you awake, they will speak to you.
23 For this command is a lamp,
   this teaching is a light,
and correction and instruction
   are the way to life,

I woke up this morning as usual anticipating a good day.  It is Sunday and Mother’s Day. I woke up in love and loved. Children happy, Charles Stanley in the background and the words of Eminem coming from downstairs. 

The pastors message of course centered on mothers. He entitled his sermon, Mother’s Law and he used the scripture above from Proverbs.  I had one of the many aha moments that I have when I am in church.  The scripture says to keep your fathers commands and mothers teaching and the difference in these 2 words describes the differences in how children respond to their father and to their mother.  Webster.com says that a command means to direct authoritatively (order) and to exercise a dominating influence over; whereas, teach means to cause to know something, to cause to know how and to accustom to some action or attitude.  The differences in these word symbolizes to me the differences in the roles of  fathers and mothers and explains why children react differently to what a mother tells them to do and what a father tells them to do. It explains why when dad says something he only has to say it once and the action immediately is stopped. When moms say something the action rarely if ever stops immediately. In my case my children each with their own personalities never stop in the same way. My oldest who is the comedian in the family is also considered the most laid back and non-reactionary generally gives me the thumbs up and says I got it mom. This never results in anything other than the movement of the thumb in the up direction. My middles son reacts as if I have interrupted him and he is clearly irritated. His response to my request is always followed by at least one of the following: I’m tired mom, why do I have to do it, huh, ooookkkkk, I’m in the bathroom, followed by a lot of  blowing and exhaling.  My daughter’s responses varies depending on what time it is. If I ask her to do something in the morning, she will say ok and go back to sleep, if I ask her around noon she says ok and continues to watch tv with her door closed, if it is in the afternoon she is tired and if it is in the evening she says in a minute mom.  As moms we teach our children everything from how to nurse to how to drive car and they require patience. Patience is indeed what it takes to be a mother. That is why we are the teachers scripturally and in the times in which we live.  

Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445
 

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

Missed Sunday

My favorite day of the week has come and gone and so have I. Come and gone that is. After touching down from a much-needed break I am thrust immediately back into the thick of things. The children, the bills, the rabbits, the dishes, the chores, the grass, the van, the laundry, the children..I go to church for the peace.  At this time I am unable to remember the words that were spoken however I remember the emotion that I felt.  There was a feeling of release for me. Tears and joy and comfort and peace. A feeling again that God does and will continue to  provide. My children all three sat with me. My younger son doing his best to pretend like he is listening even thought I know he is bored out of his mind. My daughter sitting right next to me, drawing, coloring, sleeping and asking me if I am ok..I am. My eldest son is looking straight ahead as if in a trance; from the first glance it looks as if he is paying attention; in reality he has been teleported out of his mind and into another dimension. I look at him with the proper disgust of a mother in love with him and the other two. Regardless of what they do or do not know they are confident that I love them.  And I am confident that my children love me. If asked I would suggest that a person sit down and evaluate who is in their inner circle that deserves a big I love you, a hug, a smile, a touch of appreciation and just give it to them, no strings attached.  My children (the boys that is) sometimes cannot navigate themselves out of a paperbag; which is something that I find mind boggling because these same boys who have zero memory can play a game of basketball or soccer with precision, energy and focus. Hmmm go figure. Back to the paper bag analogy, and  I guess for boys all you need to do is throw a ball around and they can remember! Girls need details and follow-up questions and notes – what a difference. God made us all different; boys and girls, men and women, and women and women.  Enjoy this day at 50, retiring  at 55 is ’round the corner. 

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Easter Sunday

April 24

I woke up with anticipation of the day’s day, Sunday, my favorite. This morning I did not go to service. This morning I awoke to the weather channel, to the sports channel, to Charles Stanley, to the smell of toast and eggs and the aroma of coffee. This morning my mind was thinking and my stomach was jumpy. In preparation for a long awaited vacation; I found that I was unable to relax.   After spending the last week preparing for this day; my children safely kept with family – I am not packed. I am not packed because as a mother and divorced parent my mind is still racing.  Not beginning the day in the customary Sunday slower pace, I could not yet begin until I could get the grace that sustains me.  I hummed, I prayed, I grabbed my laptop, I went downstairs and I wrote. I find that as I write my mind begins to slow down and my brain is rejuvenated. I thank the Lord for all He has done. I can pack now.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445
 

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Thank you Mom

The writer writes about what is important to him. I blog and wax poetic about the things that light my fire and as a way to make what I believe real.  Once a thought has been written on a paper it becomes reality.  Think about all of the reality shows and expose’s and documentaries and movies that we see daily.  Our minds are able to take the impossible action or the over-the-top action and make it believable.  That is the awesomeness of our thoughts. If we think it, even for a little while, it becomes real.  So, to that end we must be careful what we allow into our thoughts.  We often times can not stop the thought when it comes; however what we can do is to immediately recognize it as good for us or bad for us and when we make that connection we can “fix” it.  We can make it stay or we can make it go away.  Sometimes either or both of  those reactions are hard to do.  However, just like everything that we want it takes practice.  Practice doesn’t necessarily make things perfect; what it does for me, anyway, is to make things better and better. The more we practice the better we become. 
 
I have been writing since as long as I can remember.  My  mother raised me and my brothers and sister to be a little crazy, yes; however we were raised at a time when the term single mother didn’t exist.  What it was, was I guess you can say kinda normal.  My parents were married in name only. My mother raised us to be independent.  At the time we didn’t realize it, we were just doing what kids do.  We sometimes bucked her and thought she was crazy or slow or embarrassing; I admit sometimes still; however the woman did an amazing job.  She loves us unconditionally and  respectfully and disrespectfully, she is opinionated and pretty much always right.  This woman; strong, dark and chocolate has kept everything I have ever done as a little girl. Over the last 20 years she has begun to send me things.  She sent me my Brownie beanie when I was a 10-year-old, my pictures that I framed and decoupaged when I was 17, my fathers dog tags when he was in the Navy  and my  diaries from when I was a pre-teen to  about 17.  I have read my thoughts as a child and today my life has become the thoughts I had written.  When I read what I wrote as a child it is comical and thought-provoking and just down right silly.  The problems I had back then – cute. The belief in God has always been a part of the little Yolande then and now, it is what makes me the big Yolande. 
 
Thanks Mom for believing in me and in us when we didn’t even know that you were doing it.  By keeping those things that mattered to me when I didn’t know it and giving them to me when I know now what I know makes manifest my belief in your incredible ability to mother.  It is in this action that I see manifest true love and true care.  It is what I hope to become. A mother who believes that her children can do anything infuses into the child the belief that they really can do anything.  It is not so much the words that are said, it is the actions behind those words. A touch, a smile, a giggle, a grimace,  sucking air, an oh my God these kids are gonna kill me look – whatever the action – my mom had it all.  My brothers and sister and I knew then and  now  that she loves us.  And we love her.
 
 Please click on the link below.  This is my first article published for the Examiner which is an online newspaper. I am an official journalist and will be writing on this site and hopefully more jobs that pay will follow.  Thank you mom.
 
 

Sunday – Japan

My favorite day has come and gone. On Friday I knew that on Sunday I would not be at service.  I was tired, my children were tired and my sweetie was tired. Waking up on this day listening to each other and listening to children and to TD Jakes as he blared out of the television, the morning began as all my Sun -days begin with a connection with God and His many blessings. 

In 2 minutes at approximately 2:46 pm, local time, and with a magnitude of 8.9 lives were changed. Japan will never be the same, the people will never be the same and the world as we know it will never be the same.  The earth literally stood still and waters overflowed. The power of water moved can lead to destruction. http://www.disasterfunding.org/DisasterFunding.org.html

As  I walk around my home, cooking breakfast, barking orders to children, laughing and loving; I find that this morning is no different from the morning that many had in Japan last Friday. Going about the business of living we just do things. We do not take the time to enjoy the doing, to give gratitude to those who we move through the universe with on a daily or even on a casual sometimey basis. Disasters that come unannounced do not allow for preparation. One must be prepared and ready before the unannounced arrives.  There is a sound like a freight train, like a big bang and there is movement and things falling and being off-balance and the feeling of fear – uncontrollable. The shaking stops and the movement has shifted the environment into upheaval.  What does one do when there is nothing that one can do?  We see images of teary eyed women and men, disbelief emanates from their eyes, empty children, seniors in shock, masked men and woman and children wandering aimlessly looking for connection. Every Sunday I am called inside to connect with those I love and those who love me. This Sunday added something else – a man to take care of me. Unbelievable. 

Japan serves as a reminder that worship and prayer and family and constant connection and communication with God are really all that there is to life. Being kind and ensuring that ones scroll is written where honor is spoken is what I strive for and what I know that my children, sweetie, divasisters, real friends and real family aim to achieve. As our earth moves underneath, may our resolve be to be better and do better, pray more, love often, dance always and giggle  – for life happens and shifts occur. My Sundays are always good days.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Relaxation

The last time I blogged I was pampering my daughter and allowing my sons the freedom that they enjoy to do the things they love so much. For the younger one; his enjoyment is found in solitude in just hanging out by himself and in his head, he calls it “chilling”. My older son’s idea of enjoyment is to be found in interacting with someone else.   My children are all different and that is what makes the house we live in work.  If you were to walk into our home there would be a feeling of welcoming and warmth and yet identity separate and equal – there is privacy and companionship all wrapped up into one little home.  I like it.  For me this past week has been a whirlwind of thoughts, activities and some of the best relaxation that I could have ever wished for – it is a testament for receiving the desire of your heart and knowing that in HIM all things really are possible.

To be in a space and a place where you like who you are and know whose you are is a good thing.  It is a place where at the beginning of the best of the rest of my years I find that I fit and where the fit is snug and tight and seems so right.

 Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Unselfish

This morning my daughter got up and announced that she didn’t know how to fill out her book order form. This is a dramatic change from last night where she did not want to use her money to buy lunch.  Hah! She had her money in her wallet and instead of costing $4 which she insisted all of last night, the book actually costs $7.  I showed her how to complete the form and to place her money in an envelope, ready to hand out to the teacher tomorrow. The other thing I found out  that my daughter has to have is a cell phone.  She doesn’t know that she already has one.  It is just a matter of me judging when best to give it to her.

My daughter flips back and forth from good to bad and bad to better.  She was up last night and tonight until almost 10pm completing her homework.  She is having a real good time with studying and I am sure she is working out her multiplication brain freeze.  For some reason she couldn’t get it. I can see now that she is just going to not get it and then she will get it all of a sudden.  We are all different and unique.                                                         

Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

yokids3@sbcglobal.net

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose