Out of the mouths

My children are challenging and loveable.  I never know when I am going to hear them tell me that I am a good mom and ask for a kiss or whether they are going to tell me that they are tired and go to their rooms and close the door. Either reaction is what I am accustomed to and for the most part it does not bother me, as long as they close the door politely, I am cool with it.  As parent(s) we spend so much time worrying about our children’s feelings, keeping  them preoccupied with the latest gizmo that they have no time to actually sit down and hear their thoughts, and chat with their siblings or their parent.  Every child and many, many adults I know might as well live as an ostrich with its head in the sand.  We have to look up and then do something.  We, as parent, need to set the bar and set it high. Mediocrity is not in my vocabulary for my children.  I want them to be and do better than me and I strongly believe they will. They are children not afraid to try, not afraid to complete, an are ok academically. What you speak you  believe.  There is a saying that states that  a majority of what you hear other people say means nothing compared to what you hear yourself say about yourself.  After hearing that statement some goo gobs of years ago, I made up in mind that my children would hear that I was excited and in love with them and that I think they are smart, beautiful, handsome, a good boy and girl and that knew they were all going to college one day and that was that.

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

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Homework and the Parent

After having a whirlwind of a weekend filled with a lot of everything and a whole mess of partying this now 50-year-old had to touch down! And I did, yesterday, Tuesday, the realization came back to these aching feet from wearing pumps all night and dancing and hugging and kissing and flirting that I am a parent. Boo hoo, yep I am back.  Homework and three lovely children whooshed me back from Neverland and after working a full 8 hour day, sitting in traffic for about 3.5 hours to and from the office and coming home to 3 children each with something for me to sign, different color papers that had to be read and initialed and filled out and tales of how hard the 4th, the 6th and the 10th grade are already. As I listened and looked I surveyed the house – shoes in the living room,backpacks on the floor, empty water bottles and empty orange juice containers on the dining room table, pencils on the floor, clothes in the laundry basket in the middle of the floor in my oldest son’s rooms, Donny and Jimmy; our rabbits, are hungry and so are the fish – all 6 of these pets stare at me, my plants in the backyard need water, the carpet needs to be cleaned, are any bills due this week, my feet hurt, my daughter needs to brush her teeth, my middle son has grown taller since I left this morning, and wait just a minute is that a dirty sock over there in that corner????  My daughter’s whining brings me immediately back from this harried scene; she cannot find the word tablet in the dictionary and she is just about to get on my very last nerves! I breathe in and out, I explained to her again how to use the dictionary and started again with the question do you know your alphabets? I have to show and tell my daughter and I cannot do either until she stops whining and crying. Just the sound of that whine reminds me of the fingernail screeching down a blackboard – it makes my skin crawl.  After she stops screechingly whining, I begin again to explain how to find a word in the dictionary. I tell her to look at the top of the page at the word in bold. When the bold word is on the far left on the top of the page it indicates that this bold word is the first word on the left side of the column on that page. I then take my finger and point to the bold word and let her see it and then I show it to her. She says ok. I then tell her that the word to the left in bold of the word on the right in bold,  is found on the very bottom of that page in the right column. She says ok. I then tell her to begin with the first 3 letters and find those first 3 letters on the top right of the page in bold word and then from there look at the top left word in bold.  If the 4th letter in the word  in question; after the first 3 letters is found on that page the word is there somewhere. Use your finger and use it to scroll slowly down the page to find the word tablet. Voila! Huh now that I have totally confused my little girl – let the whining begin again.  After a few more of these over-explained explanations on how to use the dictionary – she gets it!!! By then, this now 50-year-old is wiped out, exhausted and tuckered. The whiner, a.k.a., my lovely daughter, completes the assignment about 30 minutes after her 9 p.m. bedtime.  She takes a bath and gets into the bed. I am wired and irritated and feeling a little whiney myself. I still had some bills to pay and yet I had to write which is what I did. I wrote last night and I write tonight. The bills aren’t due til the 21st. I will mail them out tomorrow. I had to write.

My middle son came home around 8:30 p.m. from soccer practice. He exclaimed that he grew taller since this morning and now he can stand eye-to-eye to me and then he looked me in the eye. I smiled, he is close.  I think he is right, he did grow. Hn eats a light dinner and then proclaims that he has about 3 different assignments that have to be done tonight. He is in his room.

My older son had weight training, came home and did his homework, he is now putting up the dishes and emptying the dining room table from all boxes, empty water and juice containers and any other scrap whatchamacallit that gets placed on the dining room table to take out to the garbage caontainer some time during the week or at least that is what I think the kids think they are supposed to do.

Homework is meant for children who already know what they are supposed to be doing, it is not meant for moms and dads who have been up since 5 ion the morning and have not stopped until she started writing this blog. Retiring at 55 is looking better and better. At the rate I am going, I suspect I will use the first 6 months of the 55th year just laying in the bed reading all of the Oprah, Essence, Time, Southern Living and books; too many to name, that I had not had the time to read while I was doing homework.

 Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

 ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”

What is a parent?

He is an autistic child who graduated from college!  Ain’t God good!

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/autistic-students-inspirational-graduation-speech-10935769

This is what being a parent is all about!!    For the past 2 weeks I have been so busy with my children and with my job and with my passion. Tonight I am exhausted. I want to go to sleep and yet this  little video moved me so earlier that I felt that I had to share it with all who happen to read my blog.

If you ever think that your children will never amount to anything because of some flaw that you see in their personality or character remember this young man and remember his parents who really know what the word parent means. It is not just something we do when we feel like it. It is 24/7, all the time, in good and bad, when it rains or when it is dry, when you have money and when you don’t, when you want to give up and when you push through. A parent believes that their child can excel to the level that the child wants to excel to, not what the parent would like.  A parent is ever-present and always in the mind of a child who has been sown into. A parent claps when the child makes a mistake on his first school play or misspells a commonly misspelled word for his/her age group and one who smiles when the child walks into the room. Almost as if the child is you and you are the little puppy so happy to see their master no matter how many times the master comes and goes outside of the room.  Joy cometh. So if you really want to moan and complain take a look at this clip and it will cause you re-think your think.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers all sisters, young and seasoned, to become on-purpose for themselves.”