Mother’s Law

 Proverbs 6:20-23 (NIV)

20 My son, keep your father’s command
   and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
21 Bind them always on your heart;
   fasten them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will guide you;
   when you sleep, they will watch over you;
   when you awake, they will speak to you.
23 For this command is a lamp,
   this teaching is a light,
and correction and instruction
   are the way to life,

I woke up this morning as usual anticipating a good day.  It is Sunday and Mother’s Day. I woke up in love and loved. Children happy, Charles Stanley in the background and the words of Eminem coming from downstairs. 

The pastors message of course centered on mothers. He entitled his sermon, Mother’s Law and he used the scripture above from Proverbs.  I had one of the many aha moments that I have when I am in church.  The scripture says to keep your fathers commands and mothers teaching and the difference in these 2 words describes the differences in how children respond to their father and to their mother.  Webster.com says that a command means to direct authoritatively (order) and to exercise a dominating influence over; whereas, teach means to cause to know something, to cause to know how and to accustom to some action or attitude.  The differences in these word symbolizes to me the differences in the roles of  fathers and mothers and explains why children react differently to what a mother tells them to do and what a father tells them to do. It explains why when dad says something he only has to say it once and the action immediately is stopped. When moms say something the action rarely if ever stops immediately. In my case my children each with their own personalities never stop in the same way. My oldest who is the comedian in the family is also considered the most laid back and non-reactionary generally gives me the thumbs up and says I got it mom. This never results in anything other than the movement of the thumb in the up direction. My middles son reacts as if I have interrupted him and he is clearly irritated. His response to my request is always followed by at least one of the following: I’m tired mom, why do I have to do it, huh, ooookkkkk, I’m in the bathroom, followed by a lot of  blowing and exhaling.  My daughter’s responses varies depending on what time it is. If I ask her to do something in the morning, she will say ok and go back to sleep, if I ask her around noon she says ok and continues to watch tv with her door closed, if it is in the afternoon she is tired and if it is in the evening she says in a minute mom.  As moms we teach our children everything from how to nurse to how to drive car and they require patience. Patience is indeed what it takes to be a mother. That is why we are the teachers scripturally and in the times in which we live.  

Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose
Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445
 

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

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To Bless or Not to Bless

The other day when I was at work, I heard what sounded like a cough from a coworker and no one said anything. We heard it and we continued working.  Then shortly after that, I heard what sounded like a sneeze and myself and several other ladies in the office responded God Bless You.  It struck me at that time that there is a difference in the 2 sounds that elicit either no response or a response.   The difference is something that we learn from birth the same as when we learn how to recognize different expressions on our mothers faces and which people are happy and which are sad, simply by a look. Now, everyone has a distinct facial pattern that distinguishes them from another, they have their own walk and their one voice quality.  All sneezes and all coughs are equally as different however the uniqueness in their difference is that those who hear the sounds do not have to see the person to know the difference. We hear the difference and we recognize the difference.  Sneezes come out sounding like a rubber duckie that you squeeze “squeaky”,  like a person sipping a cup of coffee to make sure it is not too hot before it is swallowed “schuush”, like a chuchuchu train sound with just the “chuuu” or like the sound one makes when you kinda’ thought you were gonna be squeaky and you just “squeaked”.  These universal different yet equal sounds elicit several different universally accepted responses and they are “God Bless You” or in German it is ‘Gesundheit’, which means ‘health’  or ‘Oh my’ or ‘Are you ok?’ The sneezee then has the ability to totally ignore these responses and this no-response- response is acceptable universally, the sneezee can thank you and that  alone is acceptable, the sneezee can add an explanation for the sneeze which can  range from ‘my allergies are killing me’, to ‘I ‘m catching a cold’, to ‘I feel a chill in the office’, to ‘I don’t know where that came from’ – all acceptable and accepted universally. Oh and I might add that sneezes can come in two’s or three’s. Now what happens here is amazing.  After the first sneeze elicits a response and if there is an immediate second sneeze there may or may not be a response other than ‘oh my goodness’ and if there is a third sneeze, for some reason this elicits an even bigger response for those in its ear range.  It elicits either a giggle or some proclamation about ‘the third time is a charm’.  Universal  office laughter is the response and the office relaxes for a few minutes and then gets quiet and we go back to work.   

Now a cough on the other hand elicits no response of concern.  It usually causes the office to be irritated. A cough can sound like  a big Rottweilers’ bark or it can sound like kachooo.  A cough is impersonal and a cough stands alone.  No one cares about the cough unless it is continuous and becomes disruptive and then someone may ask, do you need  some water.’  However; the cougher pretty much has to just about gag before that happens.  A cough is an unwelcome intrusion and for some reason it gets relegated to the range of being rude even if the person really is sick.  We don’t seem to collectively care about coughs. There are no God Bless You’s/Gesundheit’s in English or in German. There is the raspy I have already smoke 10 cigarettes this morning sound, there is the I am sick I need to go home sound, the I have some kind of frog in my throat cough, the cough that when heard staff can hear the germs spreading all over the office, the loud cough, the quiet cough and the annoying cough.  According to www.wwebmd.com coughing is your body’s way of removing foreign substances and mucus from your lungs and upper airway passages whereas sneezes protect your body by clearing the nose of bacteria and viruses, Kao explains.

So the basis for the difference in response to both of these reactions  be that one response is seen as an indicator of  ill-health and the other is seen as one of healing.  Our intuitive center recognizes the difference in the hearing.  We bless one and we don’t the other. To me the fact that all of us can recognize the difference is amazing.

The truth of the matter according to www.webmd.com is that in the blessing, Wood explains,  the Greek word for sneeze is “pneuma,” which means “soul or spirit.” “A post-sneeze blessing stems from the ancient belief that sneezing is a near-death experience, and that a blessing will prevent your soul or sneeze from esc aping your body and will deter the devil from entering in,” Wood says.  A cough, on the other hand, means you are sick and should be banished to your home or at least to the conference room for a break to cough your little heart out so the office can work.  Blech!!

The ability that our ears have to distinguish sounds truly is amazing.  Wouldn’t it be great we practiced a little more listening and less talking.  If we did so, we could really hear what someone was truly saying as they spoke. We would be fully present in the dynamic of the conversation and understand the differences in tone signals a difference in direction.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_storyhttp://

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Teresa LeYung Ryan – Writing Career Coach

In January 2010, Teresa LeYung Ryan drove over an hour from her home in Oakland to my home to make me write daily.  She walked into my home and immediately began discussing feng shui and what was needed to ensure that all of the good thoughts remain in my home.  She then sat down with her laptop and all of her goodies that she travels with and walked me through the process of building my own WordPress site and becoming a Red Room author.  I have been a life learner and this was something to add to my portfolio of things that I must conquer.  I am a writer and a poet and am motivated to continue to grow until the day the Lord closes my eyes.  I want to be an example to my children of the possibilities of a dream coming into fruition during your lifetime.  I sat and listened as she explained what is a tag and how to incorporate them into your blogging.  She also gifted me with her workbook Build Your Name, Beat the Game: Be Happily Published a 22-day playbook. This workbook turned out to be the turning point in my life for writing.  In 22 days I got it and I have continually worked to my advantage.  January 2010, I goggled my name yolande barial and I had about 500 something results; as of today when I google my name I have about 5340 results.  In January 2010 I stated that I would be published in the Tracy Press. January 28, 2011, I was published in the Tracy Press.    http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial  

 

   I believe that if you write it will come to pass. I believe that without Teresa I would not have even begun the experience of the internet and knowing what is the capabilities.   Thank you Teresa. 

 

I say get this book  if you are serious about working to become a better you.  Teresa can be found at http://writingcoachteresa.com

Thank you Teresa!! Woo hoo!!

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

  http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Parental Responsibility – Article

Her Voice: Children are a parental responsibility

by Yolande Barial / For the Tracy Press Tracy Press Jan 28, 2011 | 1006 views | 

New Year’s Day, my 15-year-old son and his girlfriend were invited to a party at the home of one of their school friends in Lathrop. I had never been to the home before, and neither had my son or his girlfriend.

The closer we got to the area, we noticed other vehicles driving slowly; apparently looking for the same house. There were three adults standing outside of a house — two men and one woman. I parked the van directly across the street and got out, as did the teens in my care. As I walked up to the house, hand outstretched, I introduced myself and then my son.

Before I could even begin to introduce my son’s girlfriend, the woman said to me, “You are the first adult to get out of your car and meet us.” I responded with, “You have got to be kidding?”

She said no, as did her husband and the neighbor. The two men looked rather athletic and were very capable of handling any 15-year-old boys or girls. She then told me that I was more than welcome to go inside her home and take a look around, and then she said to look at how many kids are in her home.

I walked into the home, a beautiful and roomy place with vaulted ceilings. The bass beats were rhythmically bumping off the walls and at least 30 teenagers were standing around, looking and talking to one another. I saw a lot of scantily clad girls and a bunch of sagging-pants boys.

On my way back to the van, the mom and I chatted, the dad told me what time the party was over and I assured him that my son’s girlfriend’s father would be picking them up. I wished them good night. He assured me that everything was going to be fine. I was comfortable leaving my charges at the party.

As I walked back to my van, I saw more cars pulling up. A car of four girls with an adult woman in the driver’s seat — probably someone’s mom — caught my attention. The mom had the car in park, engine still running, windows rolled up. The girls got out and went to greet the owners of the home and went inside. The mom never got out, and as a matter of fact, she had already driven away before her charges had gone into the house.

As I sat in my van, I thought: As parents, we have really fallen down on the job. In light of all of the crime that occurs daily against our children, there are still adults/parents/guardians who find it permissible to just drop their children off at a stranger’s house.

Does anyone but me see something wrong with this behavior, this style of parenting? As just a mom, I call on the other guardians to remember that we are the parents, and as such, we are directly responsible for our children and their welfare. We cannot continue to abdicate our responsibility and then blame others for what our children do.

We must put into practice adult caretaking behavior, for not only our sake but for the sake of the children we have been blessed to have in our lives.

• Yolande Barial is a mother and Tracy resident. 

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/what-are-some-simple-yet-big-things-parents-guardians-can-do-for-children-and-teens/

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Article – Published

I owe my gratitude to my writing coach Teresa Leyung Ryan for her coaching, guidance and disciplined determinate spirit. She told me to blog daily. My goal was to be comfortable with writing daily and to become published. I began this journey in January 2010.  I was published January 28, 2011.  Thank you Teresa.  http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/ Thank you Tracy Press.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

https://yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”