Finally

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445
 

http://just-a-mom.us/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

God is….

On Sunday, May 29, the scripture reference was taken from Hebrews 11:6 and the name of the words delivered was only two: God is…

6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. 

The woman who delivered the message was an educated and refined sister, no doubt carrying many degrees and accomplishments galore. She spoke of the power of God and what we are called to do is to believe and have faith that whatever the situation God is really all any of us ever need. The faith that is needed to do anything in our lives is propelled by these constant two words God is…She spoke of experiencing the death of her mother, then her father, then her brother, then her sister and finally she experienced the death of her only child – a son. You could hear the gasps and the quiet spoken oh my God’s escaping out of mouths. Even through her pain, she knew that God is the provider – He is the mother to the motherless, and the father to the fatherless, the brother and sister to the brother and sisterless and the son to us all. She no doubt experienced moments that were too excruciating to even discuss, after all we are expected to bury our parents and even the death of a sibling is tolerable; however, the death of a child. One that came from you and into this world is a pain that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.   I cried as did most of the women and some men in the congregation. We felt her pain and yet we see her triumph. Her faith in the power of His words which clearly state that he can carry our burdens and walk with us through the fire – allowed her to triumph. In grief she excelled and she continues to walk by faith.

This kind of  faith is what God is.  Faith tells God that we believe. When I went to sleep last night, a part of me began making excuses as to why I could not go to church because I had so much work to do to get ready for my sons 16th birthday party. The other part; however knew, that regardless of the work, I had to go to church. I opted to go and as I did I felt renewed., I believe that having that desire to walk in His presence gets us through those times, when we don’t even remember how we got where we are and how we are going to move forward. Standing on his word and going to service to say thank you made the work to get ready for the party seem to fly by. I said thank you Lord for the friends and family and for the children that continue to  uplift and buoy me for what life has given me and for those things yet to come.  All I know is that God is…and that is enough.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

 http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

 http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

 

 

A Murder

My sister lives in Richmond. In 2003 according to  www.cityrating.com/crimestatistics.asp  there were 38 murders in the city of Richmond.  For Oakland there were 109 murders, for San Francisco there were 69, for Pleasant Hill there were 0 and for Tracy there were 2.  I realize that these are super old statistics; however for the benefit of this blog post I will just use them to illustrate a point.

Around 11 o’clock my phone rang 2 different times – each complete rings. I was downstairs and when I came up and looked at the phone, my first thought was I wonder what she wants and then my second thought was she never calls me this late, something must be wrong.  I called her back. She was crying, she was shaking, she was a mess! I went into calm mode and listened and spoke with love.  

My sister was doing laundry on Saturday night and she heard gunshots.  She said it was loud and she was afraid.  She ducked down in the laundry room, pulled another lady down who was doing laundry to the ground, and called 911. The agent instructed her to stay in the laundry room until the police arrived. She says she was shaking, she was frightened and she was praying.  When the police arrived, very shortly after the 911 call, they came and escorted her and the lady out of the laundry room and walked past the crime scene.  It was a young man in his early 20’s who had been shot while sitting in his car. My sister described it like it was in the movies, where the body is riddled with bullets and all of the windows of the car are broken and shattered.  This was in her apartment complex.  When she called me she was incoherent and could hardly breathe, the pain in her voice, the fear, the disbelief – all I could do was ask her to breathe and take her time.  She eventually was able to calm herself through my voice and her inner strength; the dialogue that she spoke to herself worked more than my words could ever have.

It got me to thinking about how casually murders are reported.  Close your eyes and remember the last time you heard the news. The teleprompter reader’s voice gets lower, a sadness comes over his or her face and they read that there was a murder at approximately such and such a time and the victim was in his early 20’s, late teens or mid-40’s, whatever the age, death is death.  The reader continues with an interview with the police officer on scene or a witness and then as quickly at this is out of their mouths; facial expressions change and the teleprompter reader now talks about the weather, the festival coming up, the latest happenings of Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen and the death as well as the sad expression are gone. 

People are murdered in real life and in television shows and in video games all day and everyday.   We are so desensitized to it that we don’t even give it a passing ear, as we go about the business of taking care of our duties for the day as the tv blares in the background. Our subconscious picks it up and stores it somewhere and then our conscious mind has to leave it stored so that we can go on to more “important things”.  However, we do this as adults with the full knowledge that there has been a transition of sorts in our mind and in order to remain healthy we have to compartmentalize the pain and the drama or else we will just lose it.  We do this constantly as adults.  What must it be like to be a child who does not have the benefit of aged knowledge that murder really should be something to fear? My sister was traumatized by this incident.  All of the adults in her apartment complex that heard the shots and then saw the body were traumatized. She said because it happened late at night, the body was not removed until the morning.  The dead young man was out there all night and no one came to mourn for him. Oh my.  Where were all of his homies then? Where was his mom or dad? I don’t know, perhaps they came and were told to leave so as not to contaminate the crime scene.  I don’t know the answer to that one. What I do know is that my sister has been affected by this incident. I am sure she relives this incident and yet she knows that it has passed and it will soon get better for her. 

There is a phrase not in my backyard (nimby) which indicates as long as it is not in my backyard I don’t really have to care about it. Well times have changed. There are indeed towns where murder is not a factor and that is a good thing; however murder is always possible even in those cities that can rely on low statistics . One murder is one too many. Murder of our children is an abomination and one that our leaders who take away funding should realize is going to get worse. What is a child to do when there is nothing to do? Most children invent games; hide and go seek, four square, and hopscotch are games of the past, now our children keep their heads crooked and their fingers poised either on the controller or the cell phone or the Ipod or the gun or the drug or the knife, never looking up to see what the person who reads the weather teleprompter is saying and that is it is going to be a great day for going outside and enjoying the sun.  Oh to go back to the time of our youths when hide and go seek and coming home when the street lights came on were really all we worried about.  For my sister, this too shall pass.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Sunday

I woke up loved and in love, excited and looking forward to the drive to church.  The place where like-minded humans sit in different seats and worship the Lord. Rest. My children were left in bed!   The singing this morning was off the chains! The choir hit every note and introduced the congregation to a sound that was magnificent.  My best worship feelings arise when I hear words and music that move me. When I feel a tear coming and I feel my words coming out – the presence of the holy spirit has come. The pastor’s sermon was the Love of God. The scripture reference that he chose did not speak to me, the one that did speak to me was the one that was in the front of the church bulletin that morning.  It is from 1 Corinthians 4:1-5 and it reads (NKJV):

“Stewards of the Mysteries of God

 1 Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful. 3 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by a human court.[a] In fact, I do not even judge myself. 4 For I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one’s praise will come from God.”

In particular, verse 5 which told me to stop stressing about what another will or will not do.  In time God will handle and will reveal what is the truth of a person’s heart.  I needed that this morning.  In these times when I am juggling so many balls in the air; paying bills, paying mortgages, taking care of kids and the lawn and going to work and dealing with others personalities, it can overwhelm.  It has caused me in some respects to wish that my knight in shining armor would just come on and hurry up.  However, knights are for fairy tales and if he comes riding in, I have to remember that even he and the horse are tired. After all riding like the wind, wearing full body armor, carrying a big sword, slaying dragons, and making key battlefield decisions can wear the average knight out.   (smile)

God in this scripture is telling me, the Proverbs 31 woman, to remember I have never left you and I have never forsaken you. It tells me to continue to say thank you Lord as my mantra, to walk in faith and to know that He will provide and He will reveal all that is the truth for me. These words are like a blanket that warms me at night. In His arms I am enveloped in trust. He has always been my knight and he has never been too tired to let me know he has my back. God is the real ladies man.  Like a woman he works tirelessly and as long as we sing his praises he will speak to us and let us know that everything is gonna be alright.   And he added stop tripping gurl you are one bad mamma jamma!! I felt satisfied, renewed and refreshed.  That is what going to church and gathering in an assembly of men and women who are seeking to know Him does for me.  Collectively our yearnings combine and all of those cries internal and external are heard and felt and God works it all out for each one of our benefits.  I will retire at 55 and this writing will be my supply. 

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Amal & Osama

Her name is Amal Ahmed Abdul Fatah and according to every media source she was the favorite, the youngest wife of Osama. She was shot and took a bullet in the leg for her man.  Come on, she really is no different from any young girl that is paid the least amount of attention by an upperclassman in school or the local high rolling drug dealer.  This kind of relationship is nothing new.  According to media sources she was married at 18 and has had 3 children by Osama who already had 15 children making his grand total 18 children by 5 other women.   She was born in 1982 in Yemen.  She is 29. There is something that happens  to a young woman when she is made to feel special by any older man. In this case he was not just any older man, he was Osama bin Laden who was considered in the eyes of  al Qaeda to be an honorable man who was not viewed as a terrorist.   I don’t know whether Amal was in love with Osama or whether she was enamored with his power or whether she just made the best of the cards that she was dealt.  After all she had no choice in whom she was to marry, in that she was given to bin Laden by her family.

 This belief system that is nurtured by the older man, allows the young girl to do some of the craziest things ever to make sure that he knows that she loves him.  This  form of acknowledgement of the love of an older man is played out in everyday situations.  Just think about  how many times we have seen a young woman who will lie so that her older boyfriend won’t go to jail for a crime that he committed; the young woman who believes her man when he tells her that he did not sleep with that other woman; the young woman who knows that her husband is molesting her children and just lets it go because she doesn’t think that she can take care of herself without him; the woman who has fallen so madly in love with a man that she refuses to see that he is using her for money, for sex, for procreation or for fun. What must it be like to have children for someone who already has 15 before you?

I don’t know how she feels. No one really knows that.  As people looking from the outside, we can speculate and write and speak about what we think that Amal thinks.  She was expected to marry someone who her family chose.  She was expected to fight for her man.  She was expected to possibly die for her man. What I do know is she was an 18-year-old girl married to a much older man who had 3 children by him and she was shot in the leg.  She traveled wherever he went and if she had an objection I am sure she kept it to herself.  After all she is a mother with 3 children. Now she is a single mother with 3 children who is only 29 years old.  Her life and the lives of  her children will never be the same.  She is a mother just the same and a mother who on this Mother’s Day has lost the only man that she has ever known as husband and whose children have lost their father. How many other young woman experience the same kind of pain and the same kind of loss of a man they loved blindly who now has not only gone from her life but the lives of her children.    I am  not at all condoning what her husband did.  It was a terrible and cowardly act that affected the lives of so many people in our country. 911 is and will always be a tragedy.  Amal can be seen as a victim also.  A victim of a society that gave her life and her body to a man that she did not know. Who in the end couldn’t protect her or her children.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

The Royal Wedding

The Royal Wedding, ok? I think I believe people have  lost touch with reality. I was watching and listening to this program where they were talking about all of the excitement that has been generated because of the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. To paint a picture the interviewer began by talking about the wedding of the Prince ‘s father, Prince Charles to Diana which occured in July of 1981. The commentator spoke about the fairytale wedding and wanted to give us a personal feel to the interview by interviewing women who had witnessed the wedding of Prince Charles and Diana in 1981 as little girls.  These adult women began to speak in high pitched tones and bated breath as they described how they made sure they did not fall asleep before the wedding was broadcast. I believe the wedding was broadcast live in 1981. The wedding of William and Kate which is set for April 29, 2011, Saturday will be broadcast live beginning at 3:00 a.m. and the wedding is scheduled to take place at 6:00 a.m. So for the sake of this blog we will say the wedding time of  Charles and Diana could have occured at around this same time. Which meant these little bated breath girls who believe that their Prince will come and swoop them up and marry them, woke up and watched this wedding broadcast at 3:00 a.m.

 Now I like a good wedding as much as anyone, actually what I really like is a good reception; however, the wedding of Charles and Diana did not make me wait with bated breath and stare wide-eyed at the television set to witness their marriage vows spoken. All I could see through my young eyes was that here was this old man marrying a young girl and the bride-to-be, to me, looked scared. I don’t recall that she ever really smiled, the smile of joy; her smile appeared to be one of fear – like a deer caught in the headlights – impending doom.

As I am able to better put the words to the thoughts that I had back then, this wedding reminded me of an arranged marriage. The woman is chosen and has no choice. 

Diana’s wedding was called a fairytale wedding. The train on Diana’s wedding gown was way too long and the prince did not appear to be happy. And no one even partied! What is a wedding without a slamming reception? Well if you are born in my family the reception is what makes the wedding worth attending. Buying the bride and groom a gift is akin to the cover charge at the door before you go into the club to party!

Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married. The media is calling it another fairytale wedding. These same little girls that stayed up late to see the wedding of Prince Charles and Diana are now preparing their daughters to continue this tradition. There word, not mine.  My phrase would be to consider this a humongous waste of time. Our daughters learn by our example. What we are teaching them is that watching is better than doing. We teach our daughters that if we are shallow they can also be shallow. We teach our daughters that there really is a prince charming and he may not come on a horse however he comes and allows us to have a “Pretty Woman” experience. I am happy for William and for Kate, don’t get me wrong; however wouldn’t it be nice if we as mothers put this kind of time and energy into sharing times, stories and warm hugs with our daughters instead of  laying in front of a television oohing and aahing over a wedding that you were never even invited to in the first place. How about spending this quality time with our girls reading, talking, drawing, laughing and playing.

I think that is what Diana was trying to do, finally– laughing, enjoying, talking and for the first time I think she really loved. Sunday is the day the Lord has made. I will retire at 55 and life – wow, oh wow – it really doesn’t get any better than this.

Yolande Barial
Your Words Project: Speaking on Purpose

Seeks to Enrich the Lives of Women through Spoken and Written Word.
510-589-6445

http://www.yolandebarial.wordpress.com/

http://www.redroom.com/member/yolandebarial

ybarial@gmail.com

http://www.examiner.com/motherhood-in-stockton/yolande-barial

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/11154526/article-Her-Voice–Children-are-a-parental-responsibility?

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/12489710/article-Her-Voice–To-helmet-or-not-to-helment?instance=home_opinion_lead_story

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/tag/yolande-barial 

“Through her inspirational writings and spiritual poetry, Yolande Barial empowers women of all ages to be on purpose.”

Thank you Mom

The writer writes about what is important to him. I blog and wax poetic about the things that light my fire and as a way to make what I believe real.  Once a thought has been written on a paper it becomes reality.  Think about all of the reality shows and expose’s and documentaries and movies that we see daily.  Our minds are able to take the impossible action or the over-the-top action and make it believable.  That is the awesomeness of our thoughts. If we think it, even for a little while, it becomes real.  So, to that end we must be careful what we allow into our thoughts.  We often times can not stop the thought when it comes; however what we can do is to immediately recognize it as good for us or bad for us and when we make that connection we can “fix” it.  We can make it stay or we can make it go away.  Sometimes either or both of  those reactions are hard to do.  However, just like everything that we want it takes practice.  Practice doesn’t necessarily make things perfect; what it does for me, anyway, is to make things better and better. The more we practice the better we become. 
 
I have been writing since as long as I can remember.  My  mother raised me and my brothers and sister to be a little crazy, yes; however we were raised at a time when the term single mother didn’t exist.  What it was, was I guess you can say kinda normal.  My parents were married in name only. My mother raised us to be independent.  At the time we didn’t realize it, we were just doing what kids do.  We sometimes bucked her and thought she was crazy or slow or embarrassing; I admit sometimes still; however the woman did an amazing job.  She loves us unconditionally and  respectfully and disrespectfully, she is opinionated and pretty much always right.  This woman; strong, dark and chocolate has kept everything I have ever done as a little girl. Over the last 20 years she has begun to send me things.  She sent me my Brownie beanie when I was a 10-year-old, my pictures that I framed and decoupaged when I was 17, my fathers dog tags when he was in the Navy  and my  diaries from when I was a pre-teen to  about 17.  I have read my thoughts as a child and today my life has become the thoughts I had written.  When I read what I wrote as a child it is comical and thought-provoking and just down right silly.  The problems I had back then – cute. The belief in God has always been a part of the little Yolande then and now, it is what makes me the big Yolande. 
 
Thanks Mom for believing in me and in us when we didn’t even know that you were doing it.  By keeping those things that mattered to me when I didn’t know it and giving them to me when I know now what I know makes manifest my belief in your incredible ability to mother.  It is in this action that I see manifest true love and true care.  It is what I hope to become. A mother who believes that her children can do anything infuses into the child the belief that they really can do anything.  It is not so much the words that are said, it is the actions behind those words. A touch, a smile, a giggle, a grimace,  sucking air, an oh my God these kids are gonna kill me look – whatever the action – my mom had it all.  My brothers and sister and I knew then and  now  that she loves us.  And we love her.
 
 Please click on the link below.  This is my first article published for the Examiner which is an online newspaper. I am an official journalist and will be writing on this site and hopefully more jobs that pay will follow.  Thank you mom.